Wanna Trade?

I got lots of stuff

That’s a nice farm you got there. I saw it from the road. All that food just lying around. The weird part is I didn’t see any signs, or fences or nothing. Just pristine rows of vegetables and a stable filled with horses and cows. All there for the taking. And I thought to myself, why is this out here like this? Unprotected? I mean anyone could just walk up and snatch a pumpkin. Is the owner of this land so naïve as to think that no one would try to do that? That’s why I decided to stop by; see what kind of people can live so confidently.

I see you’re looking at my gun. It’s nice, isn’t it? AK-47 right there. 12 pounds, 16 inch barrel, 30 rounds in a magazine. Gas operated too. Easy to maintain, easy to fire. You know, the thing is right now someone like me could force someone like you to give me whatever I wanted. It doesn’t have to be just food either. Anything, man. Maybe even your daughter. So why on earth are you just sitting out here defenseless? That’s what’s got me wracking my brain. No watch dogs, not even a private property sign. But you’re probably wondering why I’m going through all the trouble of talking to you like this. Actually to tell you the truth, I sought you out because I have a proposal for you.

Do you wanna trade? I’ve got some firearms I could give you. I’ll even throw in some bullets. Hell, I'll throw in all my bullets. All I ask is for some food. You know what, just take everything I have. Why, you ask? Because I’d give anything to trade my life for yours, man. It must be nice, growing your own food, not having to worry about where tomorrow’s meal will come from. I want that. I want that life. I’m done living like this. I’m not even a gun kind of guy. My father collected them. He was a real good shot too. I remember his face when he gave me this one. I miss him. I miss life before everything got screwed up. I barely remember it now. You know what I did before the disaster struck? I was a car salesman. Yeah, that’s what I did. I was a car salesman, but now? You have no idea the things I’ve done to stay alive.

All I want is some food, and maybe a place to rest. I’m not gonna take it from you. I don’t want to destroy what you have here. It’s too beautiful. It reminds me of my own life before it all went to hell. Before the death and starvation and rioting and the government bailing on us and… Well anyway, what I really want is peace of mind and it looks like you have that in spades if you can live like this. I don’t want to take that from you. I don’t want to kill anymore. I don’t want to steal. I just want to live my life as best I can. No more “law of the jungle” s**t for me. Please let me have what you have. I’ll do anything. Anything.

Author's Note

Another quick one. Tell me what you think. Look for grammar things too. I like grammar things.

Reviews

[Spoon]

No need to fix any grammar here, I believe.
This is great. It really gives you a feel for the place and time, brilliant setting without anything but this genuine dialogue. The only issue that I have is towards the end when you compare this life on the farm to his life as a car salesman. Those two lives are quite different. And it felt a little forced when you threw in that bit about the government. Its too long and clunky for the sentence and "bailing on us" feels a little too soft alongside "death and starvation and rioting".
Otherwise it was brilliant. A stand-alone snapshot that makes perfect sense despite its contrast to the world as we know it. Well done!

[StarNinja]

Thanks for the review, Spoon. Your feedback is appreciated. The car salesman thing was to show the contrast between the "normal" life this man had to the violent and desperate one he has now. Namely, it was meant to show that anyone can and will do just about anything to survive. But after living in the jungle for so long, as it were, he's gotten tired of having to be the mean, scary, violent scavenger just to scrape by. And the part about the government was more flavor text than anything, but I gave it some thought before I put it in there. I was thinking, "What would let people know that business as usual was over? Death, rioting and starvation happen with uncomfortable frequency the world over. What will tell readers that life is different and will never be the same for these people?" Then it hit me. No government aid, or emergency supplies or FEMA coming to the rescue. Because they can't. Because what's happeneing is bigger than they can handle. So it may seem soft, but if you think about it it really isn't. The National Guard ain't here for you now. Not the reserves, not the Red Cross, nobody. You're on your own now. Anyway, thanks again Spoon.

[Tala]

There's not really a lot here I can say on grammar, which is one of the things I like about it but I'll give you a few infintisimal things that really you shouldn't even bother to change. "or fences or nothing" I might put in an extra comma and some slang as "or fences, or nothin'.". The extra comma makes it a bit more, y'know, but it's probably not grammatically correct.
Maybe "tomorrow's meal will come from" to "meal's comin' from." but all this is really slanging it and I dunno how much you wanna do that.
Okay, I can't really say much more but I tried, I thought this was damn awesome, keep writing 'em!

[Lincoln Bey]

This is good, and I will be linking here on my Facebook.

[selkietales]

Wow, this was really good. I like how you didn't go too into the world's setting, but kept it to the minimum to get your point across. That makes what happened more believable, especially since who describes to someone what is probably common knowledge? Oh, the only thing that bothered me is that aren't bullets and ammunition the same thing? Yet you mentioned them like they're two separate things. And also i'm pretty sure "ammo" is a more common term.

[TheMostSplendiferous]

I really liked this story! At first I thought he was going to end up killing the people who lived there. I was surprised when he didn't, and surprises are good. Throughout the whole story, I could imagine someone actually saying all of this. And I didn't see any "grammar things," other than what was intended to make it sound like someone actually speaking.