Andromeda

Dedicated to all of those who feel unloved

Andromeda

 

Underneath a shroud of gray you lie wide awake

Gazing up at a night sky full of Magnetars

As you try so hard to find your own place in interstellar space

And somebody to hold you closely in their arms

 

All you know are sunspots and halos

And the unblinking stare of disregard

But I want you to know you are not unknown

And that to me you are perfect the way you are

 

Like a majestic comet in the sky up above

You hypnotize this world with your celestial glow

All you want is for love to touch the fields through which you run

For somebody to save you from this black hole

 

All you know are sunspots and halos

And the unblinking stare of disregard

But I want you to know you are not unknown

And that to me you are perfect the way you are

 

You feel like you’re lost on a never-ending cold, lonely road

And that you are trapped in the valley of pale, lunar light

You don’t even know you shine like the hyper novae of the cosmos

And mesmerize the whole world with the solar storm in your eyes

With you there’s nothing wrong at all

 

All you know are sunspots and halos

And the unblinking stare of disregard

But I want you to know you are not unknown

And that you’ve been loved since you were born

Author's Note

I feel like this is weaker than my usual writing. Regardless, tell me what you think! :)

Reviews

[J.C. Rabanes]

I can't say its a kinda weak poem... It is strong man... the only thing I noticed is what the message really is? I have here in my mind after reading but its uncertain if that what you really meant by this.

"But I want you to know you are not unknown... And that you've been loved since you were born."

you mean a person? or the andromeda itself?

but overall, it is very well done... you expressed it rightfully. ;)

-John

[DoormanDan]

Thanks for reviewing this. I meant I a person :)

[Amber Lily]

I really like this! It's themed and sends a positive message, even though this person is not known by all the world, they are known by you. And that makes her special.
A cute write :)

[DoormanDan]

I really appreciate the positive feedback. It means a lot :)

[SquinklaPsyOps]

Brilliantly conceived and rendered with Exquisite language and imagery!

[DoormanDan]

Thanks for taking the time to review this :)

[Konigin]

This is breathtakingly beautiful. Really, splendid! :) I loved this flow and how you related it all to stars and space. Really cool.

[DoormanDan]

I'm really glad you like it and I appreciate the review :)

[Konigin]

Anytime. :)

[A Scribbler Named Bek]

I love the lines "All you know are sunspots and halos/and the unblinking stare of disregard/But I want you to know you are not unknown" Great refrain :)

[DoormanDan]

Thanks. I was listening to a lot of the band Starset right before i wrote this, so i wanted to create an outer space theme for it :)

[Nami Machae]

Absolutely beautiful! I really felt something from this. I love it!

[DoormanDan]

I'm glad you think its good! Thanks for reviewing :)

[Miss Owl]

I think it is fantastic. There are so many people who feel unloved, unwanted and unaccepted as they are. You speak to them beautifully through your poem. It is very creative and impressive work!

[DoormanDan]

Thanks for taking time to review this! :)

[Miss Owl]

You are welcome.

[lydie]

You think it is weaker, but it is just unique-er then your normal unique poems(lol). It is very good, and I like how you used the name Andromeda in the title. I love that this poem reflects on how sometimes we all feel when we are really down and upset, but we are still loved and known to the people we love most, family for example. This is an excellent poem, keep up the great writing!
P.S. May I ask, did you use the name Andromeda from the Greek Myth, or something else?

[DoormanDan]

The title loosely references the Greek myth

[lydie]

Ah, ok! That was smart!

[Wandering Bookman]

Hmm. I do not think it is weaker, just a bit different. My view is that there are too many space references in it and it perhaps loses some of its impact (as you read you therefore expect another sapce reference and it'd be better if some could be omitted).
Only my view-I still like it, Doorman. It makes a valid point.

[DoormanDan]

I appreciate the honesty! I was just had outer space on my brain when I wrote this lol) :)

[Ally]

I loved this poem, great job! I love how it was on space and also loved the way it flowed! Awesome job :)

[DoormanDan]

I'm glad you liked it! Thanks a ton for taking the time to review my writing! :)