Two Kites Through Infinity

Two Kites Through Infinity

A Poem by DoormanDan
"

Two people remember all of the challenges they have overcome together

"
Two Kites Through Infinity
Every obstacle we've found colossal
Has never proven to be insurmountable
We stand at the helm of this chronicle
From which we can decipher every parable

Remember when we would falter before the altar
Of the mewing aspirations we forged together
Gloom bloomed and drew us in like a magnetic force
But stubborn we were to create euphonic colors
To alter the dismal pigments of this world
And now we've reached the reward we've fought for

Every obstacle we've found colossal
Has never proven to be insurmountable
We stand at the helm of this chronicle
From which we can decipher every parable
We are kites soaring through infinity
Now far beyond the friction of gravity
Where we glister in the light of possibility
Side by side, you and I continue our journey

Remember when the artistic liquids in my veins drained
And black bruises from contempt and pain I sustained
You saved me from the maleficence marauding my heart
And when blood raindrops rapped on your window frame
On that tragic day he gave his life to keep you safe
I was there to keep Depression from tearing you apart

Hand in hand, we've ascended every mountain

Every obstacle we've found colossal
Has never proven to be insurmountable
We stand at the helm of this chronicle
From which we can decipher every parable
We are kites soaring through infinity
Now far beyond the friction of gravity
Where we glister in the light of possibility
Side by side, you and I continue our journey

Hand in hand, we've ascended every mountain

© 2016 DoormanDan


Author's Note

DoormanDan
It's certainly been a while since I last wrote anything remotely resembling a song, that's for sure. I probably spent close to two hours writing this piece, and I just made myself not obsess about omitting words that I have used in previous pieces before, and once I did that, I found that the whole writing process felt fun again. Even if this isn't the best piece I've ever written, I'm just glad to have enjoyed writing lyrics again. It's been way too long! :)

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Reviews

I love it! A very hopeful song! Makes me hold my head up a bit higher. "Every obstacle we've found colossal, Has never proven to be insurmountable" Its the beginning of something awesome "We stand at the helm of this chronicle" and encourages greatness "now far beyond the friction of gravity". Tremendous; the more I read it, the better I like it

Posted 2 Years Ago


DoormanDan

2 Years Ago

I'm glad you liked it! I will admit that I'm not the biggest fan of this piece, as it was very forc.. read more
It certainly reads like song lyrics to me; it doesn't have the structure of a poem.

I can see you have spent considerable time on this; the piece is very well worded. And that is also the source of your displeasure while writing it, i imagine. Sometimes we try to be too perfect and over extend our poetic reach, when simplicity could produce the same spirit in the words.

Either way, your write is very well done and the idea of two kites as metaphors for two lovers or friends is well defined. A fine write.

Posted 3 Years Ago


DoormanDan

3 Years Ago

Yeah, I won't ever hesitate to admit that the main reason I wrote this was just to get myself writin.. read more
I love this poem. It reminds me of my own story from several perspectives. In a way for me the two people are I and myself. And I have others whom I can relate this with too. Its such an amazing write. I love this line

"Every obstacle we've found colossal
Has never proven to be insurmountable"

Such an inspiring and hope filled poem. Great one!

Posted 3 Years Ago


Addressing your author's note first off, it should always be fun, you're making it way too complicated. :)

Affecting and intelligently written, like the two kites extended metaphor. Great flow and rhymes too.

'Remember when the artistic liquids in my veins drained'

Favorite line from my favorite verse, but if you want me to take you seriously, don't use that color text again. ;)

Posted 3 Years Ago


DoormanDan

3 Years Ago

Yep, I have a tendency to make things too complicated. Bei g both passionate and a perfectionist do.. read more
Lovely wording!
Keep it up!!

Posted 3 Years Ago


Two Kites Through Infinity, the title is a lovely hook. The word euphonic, very interesting application, that works well. The idea of two people saving each other is nicely played here, though I would note that the size of your chorus would allow you to expand on the story line. A repeat with perhaps a little change of the first verse following the second and third would work as well. By the way, you have done a wonderful job at producing something which is gender friendly, that is other than the one he in the fourth stanza.
A minor point about colored text: Yes it can be fun, however its use can diminish the number of readers that will get to enjoy your work.


Posted 3 Years Ago


DoormanDan

3 Years Ago

Oh, I completely forgot about the other thing you asked about. Glister is an actual word, meaning t.. read more
ranscan

3 Years Ago

For some reason when I first cane across the word "glister" in this work, and went to look it up, so.. read more
DoormanDan

3 Years Ago

I doubled checked; glister does have a noun and a verb form, and both essentially mean the same thin.. read more
Some of the imagery is slightly Dylanesque, to my mind - especially the stuff he was writing in the '60s and '70s. I like the kites metaphor... soaring high and ever higher, but still grounded by their string. These lyrics have the makings of a fine song. Not a pop song - too complicated for that. More the thinking man's singer-songwriter genre. I enjoyed reading this.

Posted 3 Years Ago


DoormanDan

3 Years Ago

Thank you, I'm happy that you think this is good. It definitely isn't my best, but it marked the st.. read more
This poem has multiple meanings to me, but the one that stands out the most is that even after death we still have each other. As long as you're with someone you love, not is impossible even in the afterlife. I have no idea if that was your intended meaning, but it's what I got out of it :)

I actually do the same thing now and find writing a lot easier! If you avoid commonly used words, along with words that you personally use a lot, the writing feels a lot more special and unique. I'm working on a writing project with a friend, and I also found during this that if I don't use the words 'you' or 'I' that the poem sounds a lot more mystical. Great work as always Dan :)

Posted 3 Years Ago


DoormanDan

3 Years Ago

I can definitely see where you're coming from with your interpretation of this piece, and there most.. read more
Song, not for youngsters today. Your word usage is so brilliant they would never understand it. Listen to the old songs more!..Valentine

Posted 3 Years Ago


DoormanDan

3 Years Ago

Yeah, I don't really listen to that much old music. Every once in a while I do, but I think the old.. read more

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Added on August 20, 2016
Last Updated on August 20, 2016
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Author

DoormanDan
DoormanDan

College Burnout, DE



About
I'm a twenty one year old young man who enjoys writing poetry, songs, stories, paintball and other things. My favorite things to do are parkour, video games, listening to music, and making people hap.. more..

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