Cycle

Just a quick, simplistic piece I wrote today, pertaining to the less than stellar way I've been handling life lately.

Cycle

I swear I once knew what I

Was trying to convey in these lines,

But now when I sit to write,

A stampede of doubt engulfs my mind.

I swear I once had both the cause and confidence

To secure a reason for my existence,

But lately I've been wandering without guidance,

And have been questioning my own importance.

When did I become so emotional,

So insecure, and hypocritical?

Am I just over-analytical,

Or is this kind of cycle not normal?

I can't seem to decipher this design.

I can't make my heart and soul realign.

I can't submerge my skyline in sunlight

And rid my conscience of this noxious night.

Such thoughts are unbecoming

To the distance crawled so far,

But I can't keep pretending

That my own words never mar

My mind.

Like a candlestick melting,

I was always my own star,

Until my wick ceased burning,

Now I quaver in the dark,

So blind.

When did I become so emotional,

So insecure, and hypocritical?

Am I just over-analytical,

Or is this kind of cycle not normal?

I can't seem to decipher this design.

I can't make my heart and soul realign.

I can't submerge my skyline in starlight

And rid my conscience of this noxious night.

Author's Note

Howdy. This piece is nothing special in any way whatsoever. I really only wrote this for venting after having a....disappointing day, to say the least. It's based on bad thought habits I've been adopting lately (of which I'm trying very hard to break free from as of now), and is 100% meant to be down to Earth lyric wise, unlike most of my other pieces. It only took me an hour or so to write this, as compared to the usual three to five hours it takes for me to usually write a piece, so it's probably not as smooth as my work usually is. That's alright in this case, though. This was just therapy more than anything. Anyway, tell me what you think, as usual! I'm currently dealing with finals time in college, so I should be coming back with real material soon! Until next time. :)

Reviews

[‘Thoughts In Time..]

Well the answers we won’t always have the answer for- the reason... many things left unexplained - not needing to be concrete or making sense- sometimes confusion is clarity- great words🌹

[DoormanDan]

Very true, very true. I'm in a much better mindset now than I was when writing this. More than anything, I was just running on fumes back then, and had just wanted room to breathe again more than anything (and college was all like "Lol lmao nah boi XD". I'm going to try and focus on writing more powerful, creative, and focused pieces than what I've been writing as of late over the next few months, but for now, I'm just taking it easy and waiting for the inspiration to come back. Thanks foo reading and sharing your thoughts! :)

[‘Thoughts In Time’🌹]

Your work is great and yes all in due time- sure it’s going to be great- pleasure is mine🌹

[Giulia King]

Did you write this poem about me, Dan? I loved reading it. I loved it even more especially when I could relate so much to it.
"But lately I've been wandering without guidance,
And have been questioning my own importance."

Don't say this write is nothing special, it was special to me.

[DoormanDan]

Lol, this is a rather relatable topic, ain't it? Life is stressful, that's for sure, and me writing this was me venting in response to the elevated level of said stress that I've been feeling lately. Anyway, thanks for reading and commenting :)

[S. E. Butler]

I actually like that the rhythm shifts - it feels hesitant, stop-and-start, which meshes with the content. It feels overwhelmed and disillusioned in a way that translates to the reader. I mean, is it the most carefully penned, perfect poem? No. But I think what I like about this one is that perfection is the farthest possible thing from the point.

[DoormanDan]

That's exactly the point here. I wrote this in a moment of pure venting, and thus, did not focus on a calm flow like I usually do. And plus, these are meant to be more like lyrics (written in a verse, chorus, bridge, chorus format). Anyway, thanks for reading and sharing your thoughts! :)

[S. E. Butler]

Yes, I noticed that - this would be incredible set to music!

[Jadewood]

Maybe it's only me but for me personally the flow was kind of confusing.
It was extremely emotional. Don't get me wrong emotions are great but if it over clouds your writing then it becomes a problem.
Hope you find this helpful.

[DoormanDan]

You're right, the flow is confusing, because I wasn't focusing at all on flow this time. This was just venting in lyric form. Usually, flow comes first, and then the words, but this time things changed up. One rule of poetry is that the flow can change after each break in the sections, and I decided to use that to the fullest this time around. Thank you for being honest about what you think, I really appreciate it :)

[DoormanDan]

Hmmm....I probably could've worded my response here a little better. Sorry if I came across as a bit harsh here; I had just woken up when I responded to your comment. I seriously appreciate the honesty! :)

[Jadewood]

It was not harsh at all. I am sorry if i offended you, I really didn't mean to.
I always appreciate when others give honest opinion of my writing so I try to be honest as much as possible.
I just realized how abrupt my review was. For that I apologize.
Overall I did enjoy your poem.

[DoormanDan]

Oh no, don't worry, I didn't take any offense to your review at all! I just said what I said because I thought that, in my early morning, groggy state of mind, I had said things the wrong way. :)

[Relic]

You mention a bad day brought on this writing. I'm sure if people could write down what they're feeling every time something bad happened, you would see similar thoughts. I remember well feeling like I was off life's track many times so I can relate to elements of this writing. I think everyone has bad thoughts they'd like to eliminate.

[DoormanDan]

Very true. This wasn't 100% venting after a single bad incident, I'll admit. It's more accumulative than anything else. Thanks for taking the time to read this :)

[송지ፏ..]

It's nice. I like it. Kind of hard to read since English isn't my first language.

[DoormanDan]

Thanks for sharing your thoughts and reading regardless! For somebody who's primary language isn't English, your English is extremely good (better than a lot of people who do have it for a first language). :)

[송지석 / Ji-Suk]

Oh thank you for you kind comment! c: