The Song Begins, A Dream Ends

a piece on co-dependnecy

And so it starts,
The song, another psalm to yourself,
The smooth combination of
Words and harps, a practice
Ancient as David,
Words are the pain
Harps are the salve,
Like the whip of a dominatrix
The pain begins the pleasure,
So they say,
It's hard to believe it when the pleasure
Lays in wait for so long after.
The words ripple across the mind
To the heart
Like the trail of the whip,
Not just the crack, not just the noise
But the sting staying and staying.
Footprints on the emotions
As if they were treading across snow
When does the melting start?
When does the cat of nine lies
Lose its sting?
The heart waits for a respite
And You ready Your whip again

Author's Note

just something i tossed down

Reviews

[katie]

Words can leave deeper scars than we allow ourselves to believe. I enjoyed this though it did take more than one read through. Maybe I'm tired. (Shouldn't try to use my brain on 4 hours of sleep. Haha) i did enjoy the analogy of words and whips though.

"Not just the crack, not just the noise
But the sting staying and staying
Footprints on emotions
As if they were treading across snow"

I really liked this bit. Wonderfully descriptive imagery. I took this as we dwell on the things that trouble us far more than we should. The wounds from our pasts leave marks on our souls.

Great piece!!

[daninstockholm]

Poetry should NEVER be easily digested, in my humble opinion. So as odd as it may seem, I like the fact that it took a second read. Thank you for this kind review. You truly did get what I was writing about.

[David Scott]

I often wonder about the mental health of these relationships.
It can work very well, but is it ever the ideal?
Sounds painful.
Interesting poem.

[daninstockholm]

Thank you, David. I had a painful relationship in mind, a very codependent one, fortunately it lay only in my mind. Ideal, not for me. You could say, I suppose, that it works for them during the time.

[Indra Neil]

a riveting write with profound imagery! well done! :)

[Kelly Scheppers]

"The smooth combination of
Words and harps, a practice
Ancient as David,
Words are the pain
Harps are the salve"

Your closing line took me by surprise, but it certainly made for a most intriguing one. Shall I throw virtual roses at your feet, or simply shower you with praise?

[daninstockholm]

awww schucks, Ma'am,, thank You so very much, Kelly, I always love it when you stop by!!

[An owl on the moon]

What a trembling twist of thoughts and feelings, as if pain and pleasure were dancing amid the voices. Your words unveil the dark tinged world that lies within us all, and has since David sang peace over Saul's troubled soul. So well sung.

[daninstockholm]

Thank you so very much! You truly got what it was all about. I appreciate your kind review very much!!

[Calamityofgin]

Oh very cool! I have to agree with my dove, I was surprised, this whhipuh!! Sting of word analogy, the pleasure pain melt that catharsis of expression can bring..expressed here with a strike! It's an audibly felt piece, I hear it.....yes!

Great stuff. A favorite I've read lately....

[Calamityofgin]

Ah! Hehe. My bdsm kink warped my perception of this perhaps? After reading comments, and the piece again I see another view...howcool..the co de pendant need for verbal abuse? Hmmm... I thought we were having a spanking good time using words! My Dominatrix purrrs too loud at times...lol exuse me.

[daninstockholm]

haha,, no worries,, the duality was intended my dear!

[Calamityofgin]

Good fun when that happens!

[daninstockholm]

mm,, definitely!

[...]

Suprise for me . You write like this. Interising and moving flesh and spirituality . All at one wonderful piece. Words are like angels feathers with sharp ending. Well done

[daninstockholm]

Thank you so much! It came out as a bit of a surprise to me too, actually. But I thought about it and realized it wasn't at all erotic in intent, but more about co-dependency. I feel quite ok as to intent and content, and as always, i let the reader get out whatever they wish from it. Thanks again!!

[Aventicus]

Interesting, a little disturbing, but it holds a great truth: Misery loves company.

[daninstockholm]

Thank you! You're right, co-dependency in any form sucks.