A Chapter by Aldora Sparrow

Nadia wakes


The vast and endless sky. Yes, that was my home. The joy of existing in an unrestrained world gives me the radiance. Such radiance gave the centuries of humans countless stories. So glorious, so magnificent. May I never leave this place…



“Wake up, my pretty. Open your eyes and be proof of my success.”

I am aware of a voice. So faint…yet so commanding. I open my eyes for the first time. A breath courses through my body. Where am I? There is glass all around me, caging me. In a cylindrical glass tank, I am trapped. Am I a captive? I gaze around me. Through the glass, I see other tanks with water. Outside, machines’ vibrations penetrate the glass. I turn my head. Then I stop. Wires are connected to my head under my flowing black hair. Continuing to survey the surroundings, I see that I am in a laboratory. It is dark. Every now and then there is a colored flash. Men walk around, paying no attention to me.

“How are you feeling?” Unhurried, I turn towards the sound. As I hover a hundred feet above the ground, the speaker, a man, seems so small. His dark hair is pulled back into a ponytail with a part over his left eye. He wears a white jacket and holds a clipboard under his arm. Cruel dark eyes glint and meet mine behind rectangular glasses.

“Can you hear me?”

A slow blink and a slight nod.

“How do you feel?”

I continue to stare at him blankly. I notice a dark scar curving from his collarbone to his lip.

“Can you move your body?”

My body? I am aware of the body I am in. This body isn’t mine. It’s alien and wrong. I bring my hand up, causing the black chains to rattle. Flexing each finger then on the other, I grin slightly. So this is a human’s body. How powerful I feel, being able to make my thoughts control certain parts. I am quickly feeling comfortable in this body. I see that I am wearing a white linen dress that ripples. My bare feet nearly touch the water underneath me.

I hear him muttering under his breath. “All my life,” he is saying, deliriously. “My entire life was spent on this and now it is a success. My superiors will be pleased. Behold, Nadia!”

I gaze at him again. The shackles on my wrists clink together.

Is that my name now? My thoughts echo in the vast, but not endless room. The wires. They must project my thoughts onto...speakers, that's what they call these humans can understand. They knew, like I do, that I can’t I speak. How clever. All these years, I’ve watched these creatures. They exceed my expectations.

“Yes,” the man replies. “It is. I am your creator therefore I named you.”

You are mistaken. I am born of the sky. You are not my creator.

“You are no longer of the sky, my dear. You are a creature of this earth.”

My eyebrows knit together. You lie.

“It is the truth.”

Then bring me back. Return me to the sky.

“Oh no,” he says, shaking his head. “No, I cannot do that. You are a weapon to carry out my wishes.”

Your wishes?

“Yes. You are a tool for my purposes.”

What purposes do you speak of? I am not a toy for you to play with.

“You cannot fight back. I have control over you.”

Something in me snaps. I will not be treated like a house pet! I thought fiercely. Several of the other men in the room cover their ears. My anger grows and I feel my teeth grow into fangs. The water in my tank bubbles. I am not a tool for you or for anyone. No, I will not be under your control, you lowly, filthy human!

At the last word, there is crash and a scream. The other water-filled tanks explode one by one, heaving floods of glass and water onto the marble floor. The thick glass of my confinement begins to crack as the water inside begins to churn.

“What are you doing? What’s going on?” I am pleased to hear fear begin to crawl into his voice. The water shapes itself into serpents with glowing yellow eyes. They wrap around me, waiting for my command. These are my loyal companions.

You will not stop me. The glass finally gives in and showers the men below, producing cries of pain and terror. Most throw their life-fires, only to find that they just faded like sand in the desert wind the moment they touched my waters. Some men run to a cabinet. My eyes follow them, watching them curiously. They pull out guns. I smile. Now, these were the clumsy creatures I have observed for years. What pathetic attempts.

A serpent leaves my circle and it clamps three men in its mouth. Hard fangs sink into the bodies, staining my waters red. More cries of pain and death. Two serpents protect me from gun shots. The rest weave in and out killing more with their strong bites. The shackles snap, freeing my ankles and wrists. I hover above the bodies. All lay dead below me. My serpents return, fangs glistening red with victory. My dark eyes scan the bodies. Where is the man?

“I am armed!” his voice rings in the empty room. I sense his presence behind me. “Don’t move or I’ll shoot.”

I turn to face him. His body is covered in fang marks and his head drips blood. His breath is short and his body shakes. His once-calm and triumphant face now is a mask of fear. His life-fire is low, I observed.  I smirk.

“I’ll shoot!” he shouts again, raising his gun to my head with quivering hands. My serpents glare at him with pupil-less eyes, hissing angrily.

            Does he really believe I would be afraid of that stick? I raise one finger. He grips his weapon. With the wires still chained to my head, I say my last word to the man who claims he created me. Die.

            I watch mercilessly as my serpents prey upon him, clawing and destroying his body beyond the point of recognition. His screams continue to echo even after he dies. When the work was done, Kenda, the chief serpent, comes to my side.

            Well done. I say to my comrades. They beg for more bloodshed. And you shall get it. Hisses of delight and excitement. Destroy the place and every living soul. Kenda’s companions split and obliterate the room. Kenda and I hover towards the door. It is unlocked. The sound of devastation brings a darkly triumphant smile to my face.

            More people come running to see what the sounds were, only to turn their heels and run back in the other direction. Many try, like the other scientists, to throw fire at my snakes with no avail. I fly behind them and Kenda splits into two. Each part chases after them, bringing terror and ending lives as they go. The laboratory erupts into chaos.

The chase leads me outside. The dawn is just rising in the east. Even the sky seems to celebrate the bloodshed. The sky is an orange-red, foretelling death. A gust of wind dashes across and I realize that the laboratory was on a cliff that overlooked the sanguine ocean.

            I keep my distance from the battles. I let myself touch the grass, away from the bloodstained ones. I step back and feel the ground crumble a little under my foot. A quick glance told me the cliff ended and churning ocean awaited whomever unlucky enough to fell off. The fire-throwing men realize that I was trapped. I hold my ground and the men start to approach me.

            Suddenly, a scream, a woman’s scream, rises from the wave of attackers. A crimson-haired woman pushes her way through the men. She faces me. Her face is smooth and young-looking. Brown eyes gaze at me intently.

            I call me serpents to stop. I stare back at her.

            “Nadia…” she whispers, almost inaudibly.

            I narrow my eyes at her. I don’t want to hear what she wants to say. She is obviously a part of these scientists so she will die as well. Releasing my control over my serpents, they fly out again, kill blazing in their golden eyes. The woman gets hit by a serpent and struggles with it, her ruby life-fire flashing. Suddenly, I feel a wrench. The serpent that she had wrested with melts into the earth. My serpent is dead. As another one attacks her, I try to call the vast ocean to help me. But it is out of my reach. Another wrench and that serpent melts into the earth as well.

            What power does this woman have? I think. No matter, kill the rest and deal with her last. I suck the water out of a nearby tree and create a new serpent that immobilizes her legs until I was ready to deal with her. The serpents, now with revenge added to their bloodlust, kill more quickly than before. Before long, the last man falls, bawling. A serpent stabs down, bites his throat, and put him out of his misery. The woman is quivering as the glowing eyes all focus on her. I silence their hisses with a small wave. I wait for a sign.

When she does not respond, I send more of my snakes to attack her. Athough she manages to kill many of my loyal companions, she cannot hide from all attacks. She suffers many injuries. She tries to say something. I stop. Maybe it is her death wish. I will acknowledge that. My serpents come back, floating at my side and anxious to finish her off as well.

             She tries to stand and her blood-covered lips move. Staggering, she says something. Two words emerge from her lips. It isn’t the words that surprise me, but it is my body’s reaction to those words. I stiffened and my serpents merge with my body. The ground crumbles under me and the last thing I remember is the feeling of falling, the sound of wind whistling in my ears, before darkness closes in.


            I wake up inside a small wooden hut. Beside me is a man, around his forties, washing my head. I feel dried blood. He puts the wet towel away and summons his dark sea-green life-fire to heal me.

            I try to sit up. He shakes his head. “You rest,” he says. “I can heal.”

            I nod. I lie back onto the ground and let the man clean my wounds. Gazing at the ceiling, I wonder where I am. The ocean. I must’ve washed up into this place and he found me. I feel my strength returning to my body.

            “Alright,” he says, wiping his hands and head. “You are fine now.”

            I gaze at him, trying to find a way to thank him. He looks up into my eyes and freezes. I tilt my head in confusion. Why was he frozen? I reach out to touch him. Immediately the skin began to melt and his whole body liquefies. It flows into the earth and disappears.

            I cry out. For the first time, I use my voice. But I cry for the kind man that had saved me. I had killed him, without meaning to. Was I doomed to never interact with humans? I remember the scientist’s words.

“You are a weapon to carry out my wishes.” Is this part of his wishes? When my tears ran dry, I walk outside. At my command, Kenda and her friends flood and destroy the house. As the house fell, I felt my heart ache. This aching heart.

After the traces of the man were gone, I turn and walk away. I don’t know where I will go, but it is somewhere far. Far away from other innocent people. My feet carry me. The beach and the man’s death becomes a fading memory. I walk on as the darkness seal me in…




…Every living thing I touch dies… I am cursed…don’t come near me…don’t touch me…


© 2009 Aldora Sparrow

Author's Note

Aldora Sparrow
Any suggestions?

My Review

Would you like to review this Chapter?
Login | Register


ahhh! I am soo in love with this story. it was a little bit long for a prologue, but It really captured my attention. A fast paced, mysterious, and insightful stories like these are hard to come by. I espically love the detail and the way the reader gets to hear what Nadia is thinking. I'm going to read the rest, but right now I have to go to bed. btw~ Happy Thanksgiving!!

Posted 10 Years Ago

Brilliant. I was so expecting some other cliche-ridden, ham-fisted, low-quality fantasy when I saw the name of the story, but you surprised the hell outta me. It was extremely, extremely well-written. The problem with most fantasy is that the descriptions that make other novels true to life are forgotten in the crazy workings of the imagination. All attempts at writing skill are dropped as the inspired writer tries valiantly to get every thought on paper fast enough. But you, like rare others, like JK Rowling perhaps, or Patrick Ness, or Eoin Colfer, have done the almost impossible. You have mixed imagination and writing technique perfectly, like a master chemist f the essences of writing. You ought to get a group cheer for this work, I really really enjoyed it. Brilliant times 100!

Posted 10 Years Ago

It seemed a little long for a prologue. But other then that I thought this has a better plot and story line then your other book.
I like the main charter Nadia but maybe a little more description wouldn't go astray.
I thought some of the sentances needed a bit of work to flow better but other then that I didn't really see anything wrong with it.
The names you used in the story are foregin to me. But they work very well.
It was worth the read.
Good write.

Posted 10 Years Ago

This is very creative! I love the idea. I also think you know your character very well, which let you portray her amazingly since you have her so well defined. She has a God-like aura, and personality. You used a lot of really short, direct sentences. Which was the right idea, but I think you may have overdone it a bit. You want the sentences to be short and direct in the beginning because she isn't connected with the body yet. But what you need to do is make the connection deeper as the story continues. To not only let us know her more, but to bring the reader more into the story.
Another thing is that in this story you used present tense, which tends to be a tricky thing to do. You didn't mess up too much in switching to past tense though.
I think the story moved too fast, it was a really good story and I want to be able to BE there. Also, the idea of this story is so creative, that it's a tad bit complex. Which I like, if the story moves too fast it can be very confusing for some people. It's not confusing to you because it's your story, and you see things that we don't see since you have the entire image in your head. So slow it down alot, and add more details. :D
Especially add detail to where the snakes come out, because you describe it in a couple sentences, and they are slightly vague. This is a big change in atmosphere and you want it to be clear to the reader to avoid confusion. ^^
I really really like this though. I think you should definitely put some hard work into to make it even better.
P.s. I think you got the name for Nadia right on the mark. Name picking is hard for some people, but I think that name fits her really well. :)

Thanks for entering my contest. :D Good luck with this story.

Posted 11 Years Ago

pretty good! bit confusing in the beginning though how she only used her thoughts to communicate...

Posted 11 Years Ago

Request Read Request
Add to Library My Library
Subscribe Subscribe


5 Reviews
Added on December 19, 2008
Last Updated on January 24, 2009


Aldora Sparrow
Aldora Sparrow

I have been writing for longer than I can remember, but it was only during 7th grade did I start to write outside of class. I am still inexperienced and I love helpful comments. I love to write fa.. more..


Related Writing

People who liked this story also liked..