Let me hear your voice

I wonder why this story has a different tone than the other songfics, I've done. Maybe because it's Big Bang and I felt this is more of an adult story than a teen. I dunno. Anyway, hope you like it!

Let me hear your voice

Everyone lives, carrying his own worry…Desperately holding his broken heart…

 

Tonight isn’t the first time I dream of you. Even if you aren’t here, the phantom of your voice still haunts my thoughts and my waking moments.

I open my eyes and, rubbing them, rise up from the cluttered desk. The clothes I wore yesterday still drape on my figure. The black shirt is unbuttoned and my pants hang loosely around my waist. I must’ve fallen asleep. “Thinking of you,” I add privately to myself.

The darkness of night is broken by the lights shining in from the window. Throwing open the thin curtains, I feel the fresh wind whip around me as I step onto the wet balcony. The last few drops of the night rain fleck my upturned face. They taste like wine.

The rain just now has stopped.

The city is quieter― it’s never silent. Distant car horns ascend to my ears. The city lights rival the moon and stars. There is the faint scent of the asphalt on the roof not far above.

The smell of asphalt is floating around the city.

My shirt billows around my bare chest in the wind. But I can’t feel the shivering coldness against my warm skin. My eyes are fixed on the horizon. Somewhere, far away, you are there. I wonder if it rained over there, too.

Hey, over there, the weather is already fine, right?

I remember, when we were still together, I was always the one to wake first. You always hid your make-up-less face as I tried to kiss your cheek good morning. Are you still able to wake up on your own?

Since you’re not a morning person, everyday, will you be able to wake up properly?

Catching my thoughts, I grin slightly and shake my head. “I’m such a fool. I’m still worried about things like that.”

I lean against the cold railing, resting my chin on my hand and gazing idly at the blanket of barely distinguishable stars far beyond my reach. The louder lights of the city below fight for attention.

The spreading sky, the freedom…

“Although neither of them has changed,” I think to myself, “right now, the only thing that has is that you aren’t by my side.”

My hand slips into my pocket and grip that phone, a lasting connection to you as long as that number remains in its memory. Inevitably, my mind travels back to you.  A summer wind replaces the cold night-rain wind. The day promises to be a scorching one.

The first time I met you was around this season, right?

 

It was more than two years ago. The summer night was searing. My tie loose and sleeves rolled high, I was returning back to my apartment from a late night at the University. My pace was irregularly slow as I admired the golden glow.

The bright street was glowing beautifully.

Then a rippling movement turned my eyes with a gentle finger. You stood in the shadow of the wall, hair bent and long hair tumbling into a rippling curtain that shielded your face.

Though I recognized the special smoothness of your hair, I barely knew you. You were just that girl that worked at the store down the street. I wondered why you were out alone, yet something about you intrigued me and I still felt an urge to speak to you. Without a word, I just stood beside you. The uneven breathing answered all questions.

You were crying, right?

“Hey,” I whispered when the breaths calmed.

Your moist surprised eyes met my dark ones and glowed like the lamplight. When recognition appeared on your face, your tense shoulders relaxed and gently brushed my arm. “Hello.” My heart jumped a little as it had many times before. That melodic voice that charmed me so many times into going to your store as opposed to the cheaper one a block away.

“Feeling better?” I whispered softly.

A vague coo of a night bird filled the space between us. You nodded tentatively, adverting your beautiful eyes.

Don’t advert your eyes.

Suddenly, you asked, in that sweet-sounding voice. “I’m sorry if this is unreasonable since I barely…” your voice faded out for a moment as I gazed down at you. I hoped that my eyes would convey the feeling that I was hesitant to say. You blushed and started again in a softer tone, “May I borrow your shoulder?”

My only response was to move a little closer. For a heartbeat, you didn’t move. Then, with a soft thump, your warmth seeped through the thin fabric that separated your skin from my then-burning ones.

From that time on, often laid your head on my shoulder. That extreme warmth from your touch against my skin.

 

The soft vibration of a text message breaks me from my reminisces. For a heart-stopping moment, I wish nothing more for your name to appear across the screen. Something inside me wilts slightly as another name flashes instead. Some pretty girl my friend introduced to me in hopes that I’ll forget you. I delete the message before giving it a second thought. It’s not worth it.

Since you went away, it hasn’t been the same.

Is it possible to forget you? My heart beats a sure “no.” I grin a little. I should’ve known.

In my heart all I’ve got is pain.

 

After that encounter, we became inseparable. Morning through night, darkness through light, you were always there, just a phone call away.

Sunlight, moonlight, you lit my life.

Only when you were gone did I realize how much of myself I had given you. That night you left was the first night I had a nightmare in a very long time. It was the kind that doesn’t show much, but what was there hurt, far more real than any illusion a mind could hope to conjure. Each tear that I shed was a lasting reminder that I just can’t let you go. And it was my fault that you aren’t here.

Realized in the night that you’re my world. Just can’t let you go.

Inescapably, numbered pages of the calendar drifted like autumn’s leaves, piling onto the floor. Dates flew by me without meaning. My life fell back into its repetitive cycle like it was before we met.

Days passed without you.

Except, this time, the difference is that your name, your face, your voice, your scent…they are among the first things that enter my mind in the morning and amid the cloud that settles in my mind at night. My body misses its companion and lover.

Just can’t forget you…I’m missing your touch…

The nightmares haven’t been appearing as often lately. I find sleep to be my reliable refuge from my rhythmic life. But, even then, the nights are seemingly unending and only when I fall into sleep am I rescued.

Nights get longer and it’s hard to bear.

We are adults, but we still fight like when we were children. Can it be mended as easily as it is broken? My heart’s call echoes into the air, desperately waiting for the response. Each time, it wilts a little in sadness. Breaking apart wouldn’t be so hard if I hadn’t missed, loved you this much.

We’re apart, and that breaks my heart.

 

I place my chin on my arms that lean on the now-warm railing. “If only we were more honest…” I think miserably, eyes wandering among the maze of stars. “If only I knew how we felt…maybe I’d still have you…”

Then I remember. A long time ago, when you input your number into my phone’s memory, you told me, “If you ever miss me, I will always be on the other side.” I decide to call you. I am sick of the way things are and time has taught me to appreciate what I had. I never knew the worth of water until the well ran dry.

My hands quiver a little as I type in the code that my fingers knew before my mind did. Taking a shaky breath, I hear the dull beeping.

Please, let me hear your voice…I desperately hope. The seconds tick by like minutes. Suddenly a woman’s bland voice sounds in my ear. I inwardly growl.

“The person you are trying to call is not available. Please leave a message after the beep.”

Silence then “Beep”. Go for it, my heart whispers and mind insists. I can’t help a small smile. For once they agree with each other.

I take a deep breath. “Hey…uh…it’s me. Look, I’m really sorry for what I did. I know that I am wrong. Please, listen to me. If we become honest, surely, we’ll be able to understand each other. Please open your heart. If we become more kind, we’ll be able to love each other again.”

Unexpectedly, I think I hear a small disturbance. I wonder fleetingly if you really are just on the other side, listening. But I can’t stop even if I want to. The words flow easily and uncontrollably through my lips.

“Let’s get over those entwined anxieties and loneliness. I believe the feelings of this moment will become our bond. In time, I hope your love will revive. Let me know because I know that we were meant for forever. ‘Til then, I’ll wait for you. Please, let me hear your voice…”

There is a small silence then I shut the phone. I let out a breath that I didn’t realize that I was holding. A smile paints my lips and I feel more liberated than I have words for.

I’ve done what I can. Now, it’s all up to you. I idly trace letters into the nighttime sky like we did before against misty windows. I love you. Just over the horizon, the hints of sunrise can be seen. I close my eyes and breathe the wind. Past the whistle of the wind, the distant car horns, faint drips of rain, my heart beats surely. A ghost of your laugh tantalizes my ear.

Straightening, I stretch and yawn, ruffling my hair. Maybe I can still catch a few winks of sleep before I have to work again. I slide the easy door with a soft click behind me. My forgotten phone rests on the flat railing, alone. A few rain drops sit beside it, sharing its solidarity. Then the phone breaks the delicate silence by chiming a merry tone as a name flashes across the screen.

Let me hear your voice…

 

Author's Note

Original song: Let me hear your voice by Big Bang (Wow. This is my first non-SM K-pop band I've done anything about)
Any suggestions?

Reviews

[Iris Jayne]

sweet. i loved it all the way. just like some of your other works.

[Constance-Outspoken]

I love this, it's beautiful. You held me spellbound all the way through the piece. I did see a few errors, little typos, if you're interested in fixing them let me know and I'll point them out. However, the feel of the piece is not soiled by a few little errors, no way. Perhaps you repeat a little now and again, but that adds to the charm, the honest feel of this write. Thank you very much for sharing. So far a favorite of mine amongst the Soul Mates contest entries.

[Huggy Bear]

Congrats on placing in the contest:)

[Susan14]

this is amazing, it's a great write i loved it keep up the great work

[Demetria.Ro$e.Hathaway]

grate story
i loved it

[Huggy Bear]

This is a great piece. It has a similar feel to my poem "Our First Time"