someone once told me it was okay to be alone

someone once told me it was okay to be alone

A Poem by DarkHairedDreamer

Someone once told me it was okay to be alone -

But no one told me that it was different than being lonely.

No one told me that I'd be suffocated by my own surroundings, choking on the emptiness that leaves me gasping for something filling. 

No one told me of the feeling of coming home to a place empty, dark and devoid of the interactions I would desperately come to crave. 

No one told me that the silence would haunt me for hours on end -- filling my head with a hollowness I couldn't escape, leaving me wishing for something - anything, anyone to break it. 

And no one would tell me how the loneliness would follow me like a shadow, trailing behind me as I get through the shallow conversation and forced smiles of the day -- hearing laughter that isn't mine and leaving me wishing it was

(because I can't even remember being happy in the place Im supposed to call home)

And everyday I feel the weight of the nothing crushing me further into where I never wanted to be.

...

People often tell me to learn how to be alone.

But they could never see that I've just been learning to live lonely. 

© 2017 DarkHairedDreamer


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Added on October 19, 2016
Last Updated on March 3, 2017