When Things Are Grim

A little poem I have written to pick you up when things are grim.

I'm searching through emptiness,

Try to forget the torture in vain,

The shadow cast by the dark setting sun,

Will bring my sadness to an end.

My consciousness cries out

Through the fear and the doubt.

My words are dying in the night.

No darkness lasts forever.

When the scars of the past,

still live in your veins,

Sit back, light the match,

And watch the past burn down in flames.

Author's Note

Please tell me what you think :)

Reviews

[Dalton Holt]

"Sit back, light the match
And watch the past burn down in flames."
These were my favourite lines of the poem. It has a perfect rhythm, strong imagery, and interesting meaning. I liked the whole poem, though it's hard to understand exactly what the meaning is. It seems the narrator switches between being hopeful that his darkness will go away and to falling into despair that it will be there forever. I like this technique, even if it wasn't intentional. That's kind of how it is when you're depressed, sometimes you feel you'll push through and other times you feel it will never end.

[Ryan Henderson]

Thanks for the review! I meant for the mood to change like that :)

[Yuppitsme]

Sorry Ryan.....that should say anthropomorphic. Darn modern technology.

[Ryan Henderson]

It's okay lol

[Moonlight]

Sit back, light the match,


And watch the past burn down in flames.


amazing! So touching and beautifully written. Those feelings that are resonating from each word in your poem are really strong and they totally stirred my heart. I love your writing. It makes me feel everything in the poem with so much reality. Great job! :)

[Ryan Henderson]

Thank you!

[Yuppitsme]

Ryan,
Wonderful anthromorphic examples in this piece!!! Also, I love the vain/vein usage. Genius. I got something different from this poem,however: Through the sadness and anger, you find release from the past, in flames. Many others see this as hopeful.....is it? I'm not so sure.

Keep writing, Ryan....you have true, raw talent.

[Ryan Henderson]

Thank you very much!

[The Black Warrior]

Sit back, light the match,
And watch the past burn down in flames.

My favorite :D

This is a very profound piece dear :D

Very inspiring, and we all can relate to it ;)

[Ryan Henderson]

Thank you for the review!

[The Black Warrior]

You're very welcome ":D

[Jessie]

Again I can relate and I love it.

[luvs2write]

This is such an inspiring poem. You have such powerful writing. Now if only someone would hand me a match...

[Ryan Henderson]

thank you for the amazing review! I like the 'if only someone would hand me a match' bit you added, very funny!

[Magnus]

This is deep! I had to read it again to gain perspective of wat it makes me feel and think...beautiful piece

[Ryan Henderson]

Thank you very much! I will return the review shortly, I need to go right now, Ill be back on later!

[Mabel]

Truly beautiful. I love how it started off so dark and distant, when suddenly the tone changes and you can feel that there's still hope. Very refreshing for a poem of the genre.

[Ryan Henderson]

Thank you for the review!

[Brianna]

I enjoyed how it started off "dark" but you ended with a positive note. I love the word choice in this piece.

overall it's an amazing poem and I really enjoyed it (:

[Ryan Henderson]

Thank you for the review, Brianna!

[Tasfia Islam]

its really cool.....it has a deep thought and matured point of view....well done...

[Ryan Henderson]

Thank you for the review, I appreciate it!