The Fantasy World of Rachel Pallet

A girl who after living in a coma-induced dream for as long as she can remember, wakes up with the inability to feel and must cope with the differences between this world and her own.

The Fantasy World of Rachel Pallet

            She couldn't see. Well, she could, but... it wasn't real. The drugs had taken their toll on Rachel's brain too soon to be stopped. She had, after a struggle, managed to quit- but it didn't matter. Her tainted brain turned everything around her into a wicked disfigurement of what was actually there- she lived in a dream, a permanent hallucination.

            Rachel liked it at first, though. Until it got scary. She began to realize that she couldn't distinguish reality from hallucination. She was in situations that didn't exist, had friends who had been imagined- her entire life had begun to dissolve into the fantasy world of Rachel Pallet.

 

            "She's awake," it said.

            "You did it." The silhouettes of two (people?) formed blurrily in front of Rachel. She could not open her eyes; they were slits. She could not speak. She could not move.

            "You're back, baby, it's gonna be all right." One said. It had a voice of confidence, of strength. Reliability.

            Rachel drooled.

            "Come on honey, wake up." said the other figure, patting Rachel on the arm.

            Rachel's face was placid, distant, dry.

            "Excuse me, Mr. and Mrs. Pallet, I am very sorry- we are going to need another night or so. She's still- ah- tired." stammered a third figure. They left slowly, the sound of sobs growing ever more distant. "You need to wake up, Pallet. Your parents paid me good money for you to wake up."

 

            A detached, distant voice called to Rachel. And there was a light. It was small, but it stood out against it's black surroundings.

            "Rachel," said he distant echo. The light moved from side to side. "Rachel," the echo continued. "Rachel, Rachel can you hear me?" Said the bald headed, shriveled doctor. He held a light in her eyes.

            Rachel blinked, and her eyes stung. She tried to push the light away, but she seemed to have forgotten how to move. "Stahp" she muttered, barely audible.

            "Honey!" said Rachel's mother, squeezing her husbands hand with force.

            "Ma'am," said the doctor with a turn of the head. "Please." He looked back at Rachel. "You have been in a coma for over a year now. You aren't going to be able to move, and talking will be difficult. For a while. You need to teach your body how to move again." He said that last sentence as if addressing a child. Rachel was mad. She couldn't show it, though. "You were hit by a car, you walked straight out into the street. You had traces of LSD in your system. Since then, we have been able to remove the drug from your body and fighting your addiction should no longer be as difficult." The doctor smiled. "Well, say hello!" He stepped away from Rachel and her parents stepped towards her.

            "Honey, You're back!"

            It had been three months before Rachel had resumed normal humanly functions. The day was April 4th that she left the hospital.

            "Here honey you can open the door! It will be like opening the door to your life again!" Her mother motioned towards the door expectantly. Rachel smiled at her and walked towards the house. It felt different than it had before the accident. Was it because she had been in the coma for so long? The fantasy world? Yes, she decided. But I will feel better soon.

            She reached the doorknob and grabbed it. But she didn't feel it. It had been as though she had put her arm forward, and by means of some invisible force, could not push it farther. She looked down at herself and realized she couldn't feel anything. She hadn't felt anything since she had woken up.

 

            Rachel never got used to it. She never got used to the differences, either, between this reality and her own. It was plain, bland, thin. And it wasn't long before her birthday came.

 

            "Yay! Make a wish!" her mother cheered. She looked at the cake.

            "I want to go back." She muttered with a tear.

            She blew.

Author's Note

What ever you like, whatever you dislike, just gimme gimme gimme

Reviews

[silvitic]

I like the confusion throughout the story and how the narrator doesn't know too much more than the character, Rachel. The ending was a pleasant surprise. The choice to give it a gloomy ending was more satisfying than if you had used a cheesy happy resolution. The narrator told the story without a biased outlook, which can allow the reader to form their own opinions about the situation and imagine possible motives Rachel might have had. With limited information I can imagine why Rachel chose the life she did and how she will handle her future. The slow pace and short dialogue create a dark mood. The mother's positive comments contrasts with the sad reality and makes the mood more intense.

[Bexfinch]

I will anotate and make suggestions on a printed copy come get it tommorow or ask if its done :) thanks for the review oh and 900 points now yayayaya see you later!