Waxen Wings

This one was writte in honor of and emulating Selene's walking with the gods prose poetic pieces. Excuse the rushed quality, I was stumped for an idea, had to do most of it during lunch to be on time

You were There 

in the beginning 

clouds in your eyes 

and stars falling from your head 

I was Whole and Parts 

and more than the sum of both 

and You were There 

I stood beside You 

with sunset hair 

wearing living rainbow vestments 

while I tried on Your gift, waxen wings 

and to the sky We rose 

with tambourine laughter 

all day and all night 

We truly Were 

Then You brought Them 

both of them insipid on the surface, 

but beneath, boiled failure and grandeur 

in a puerile stew 

and nothing was the same 

You were charmed 

even as they betrayed 

You were enthralled 

even as they warped Your words 

and You forgave 

Here I stand now, 

mere parts, not whole 

twilight hair hanging disheveled 

on melted glacier vestments 

my one possession, 

a pair of waxen wings 

that I stretch and flex 

prepping for the last flight 

At first I dance the wind to a forlorn dirge, 

slow sweeps passing inches from the ground 

but soon memory takes lead 

and I dance the Grand Waltz 

would that Your eyes would stray my way 

if I flew higher, then maybe... 

Looking down I watch them slaughter yet another 

and a tear falls from Your eye to flood the plains 

but You are beguiled 

I reach for a star 

and feel wetness on my back 

surely You weep for me 

but all that remains are empty sockets 

where wings once grew 

and the rush of air 

Would that my tears 

could flood the world for me to drown 

alas, not to be

And so I fall... 

And so I fall.

Author's Note

Okay, I know I'm going to catch hell for this one (pun intended) I am not trying to go after Anyones beliefs here. But there are always two sides to every story.

Reviews

[NoneOfYourBusiness akaK..]

do you know what this reminds me of~ in part it takes me back to Shabola and Asrafel~ it's Dacian mythology with which I grew up with~ it tells an altogether different tale of the fall of Lucifer~ because yes there is always two sides to every story~there is this truth and that truth and somewhere between them is the TRUTH~ this is stunning work on a poetic level~ a deep driving soul shake on the deeper human levels~ I can't tell you just how much this piece of excruciatingly beautiful heartwork penetrates~I guess I'll jave to invent a word for the emotion it elicits . . . .

[Brad]

i think you did a wonderful job of catching "the essence" here, your voice is definitely heard, but with a character's tone

[Peter Joseph Swanson]

Fantastic!!!!

[Jūdan FyreHeart]

This is so well done. Such a beautifully told story with fantastic imagery. The ending is just perfect. Wow, well done indeed.

[Closedown]

Oh hey there, let's pretend I've actually been around recently shall we? I promise I'll try, mostly because I'm insanely jealous of what you can write in a lunchtime and I'm determined to learn from you. But seriously, over here, in the corner, being very jealous and building a talent stealing device.

[Norma M Sutton]

I like it. It works in several ways :)

[Coyote Poetry]

Easy to fall from heaven to hell. Few can walk a life without mistake. I enjoyed the tale in the poem.
"Surely you weep for me
But all that remains are empty sockets
Where wings once grew
And the rush of air "
I like how you ended this poem. Thank you for a amazing poem.
Coyote

[Art]

exceptional work David...one must see past the obvious to grasp the eternal...you have a masterpiece here my friend...

[LilyT]

You touch something specific and very old inside mythology and religion with this. And if you HAVEN'T read Selene's "Sahbola and Asrafel", the heart of which you've translated into an incredibly complex and deeply thought out poem, then you are channeling her.
(:
There is a poewerhouse of emotional motion that peels itself from your version and shakes up the foundations of generic stories through time.