Punching Bag

Punching Bag

A Poem by sentimental~ galore

Once drowning it hurts to even look.

To take a quick glance, tip my hat.

Give the rain to your nose.

i've got a parade in my bones,

Rattling like a broken wing,

You've done me many wrongs.

Micconception of this harsh perception.

The art of falling,

Of breaking free of this establishment.

F**k society and it's reality.

The sail of this ship will sink you

so deep, so quickly you'll miss the point.

You'll only see the puff of my last joint,

Of my last breath lingering inside your lungs.

Filling you up like an animal balloon.

It's about taking things down, serving the last punch.

This is me communicating.

Me telling you how I feel.

Of wallowing, of swallowing, but

Mostly me just not giving a s**t.

Simply letting go of my last hit.

 

© 2012 sentimental~ galore


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Awesome poem, very intense. Honestly I loved every line of it; I love how well it adheres as a whole and delivers its spiteful message. It's really angsty, in a good way that I can relate to. Throwing random profanity into a poem can ruin it, but I'd say that this write needed it and it's tastefully done lol. The title is good too and helps to tie it all together and underscore the point that this is about someone who is fed up dealing with society and even people in general, or maybe someone in particular. I can't believe it has 15 views and no comments frankly, it deserves more attention than that. Anyways, really nice job :)

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

The phrasing here just pops in my mind...just imagining this as spoken word nearly give one chills. Solid voice. Parade in my bones indeed...

Posted 6 Years Ago


i've got a parade in my bones

Nice. Some lines wouldn't be compromised under gentle revision.

i.e think you meant establishment not establishments? or 'these' if you did mean plural.

But nothing intrinsically needs to be changed. Very awesome writing.

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

sentimental~ galore

6 Years Ago

Thank you so much! Yes I meant to say establishment. Sometimes i'm in a rush when i post these. Than.. read more
Stammers

6 Years Ago

Know the feeling. I kept switching a character's name from Phil to Paul a few weeks ago. Though, I c.. read more
sentimental~ galore

6 Years Ago

I just read some of your poetry and i'm in love so it's not bad writing at all. Trust me. haha.
Awesome poem, very intense. Honestly I loved every line of it; I love how well it adheres as a whole and delivers its spiteful message. It's really angsty, in a good way that I can relate to. Throwing random profanity into a poem can ruin it, but I'd say that this write needed it and it's tastefully done lol. The title is good too and helps to tie it all together and underscore the point that this is about someone who is fed up dealing with society and even people in general, or maybe someone in particular. I can't believe it has 15 views and no comments frankly, it deserves more attention than that. Anyways, really nice job :)

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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358 Views
3 Reviews
Rating
Shelved in 2 Libraries
Added on September 17, 2012
Last Updated on December 13, 2012

Author

sentimental~ galore
sentimental~ galore

on the moon, CA



About
Ranbir. Eighteen and looking for answers with great glory. Wrapped in the seeds of adventures. Vanilla coffee, Rasberry iced tea, and A Fine Frenzy. Bob Dylan Bucket of blues and eyes eager to see.. more..

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