Grains of Despair

Grains of Despair

A Poem by sentimental~ galore

In the alley their sits the shadow of a broken man,

With his hands in his head, tears streaming down his face,

He holds a pocket watch in his heart, watching the grains of time slip by.

Waiting for the world of despair to see his pain, but the people have ribbons over their eyes.

We have lost sight of the hungry stricken faces, become blind to the presence of the moon.

Covering our ears to block out the wailing of the desperate voices, the world is screaming but we keep going.

In the sand box the children draw pictures of vacant faces and bloody streets.

But no one can see through their innocent eyes, no one can see that even the children are crying.

Time will stop, the world will break in half,

But we will wake up each morning and go to bed at night,

Ignoring the fact that we are no longer alive, our soul abandoned us the day it learned we couldn't fly.

 

 

© 2011 sentimental~ galore


Author's Note

sentimental~ galore
SO...this is part of my american artist presentation on Bob Dylan. This poem was inspired by Dylan's song blowin in the wind. Hopefully i'll get an A on the whole project...please review.

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When I read this poem for the first time (and I hadn't seen the author's note), I thought that it was all about the plight of the homeless. The first two lines, describing a broken man's shadow sitting in an alleyway and crying, first gave me that impression, and the rest of the poem seemed to back it up by painting a portrait of his situation "waiting for the world of despair to see his pain, but people have ribbons in their eyes" called to mind an image of homeless people sitting idle, wasting away while everyday people simply pretend they aren't there; "we have lost sight of the hungry stricken faces, become blind to the presence of the moon" is a very pretty line that seemed to suggest that we are ignoring something very important and obvious because it's convenient for us to. After the "covering our eyes line", the poem started getting more abstract and metaphorical, but I still felt at the end that it was a condemnation of society's attitude towards homelessness and poverty.

Then I saw in your note that it was inspired by Bob Dylan =p I've actually never listened to any of his stuff, so I looked up 'blowin' in the wind' on youtube to get a feel for it, and now I feel I understand the poem better. Honestly, it seems like it could be a Bob Dylan song, or an extension of the one you mentioned. So I think you did a really good job channeling your inner Dylan, because I can imagine him singing this.

On the first reading I didn't really like the line: "Time will stop, the world will break in half", but afterward I felt like it was trying to explain that no matter what happens, we will still go about our normal lives and routines and ignore the suffering in the world, so it fits. I don't like it quite as much as some of the other things you've written, because I you can make more powerful poems, but it's still pretty good especially considering it's like an homage to BD.

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

Pretty ordinary...though the imagery of ribbons is excellent. I haven't listened to the song though. It might mean something :)

Posted 8 Years Ago


wow this is really truly great, many lines i loved in it :D
but id have to say i enjoyed these lines:
" but the people have ribbons over their eyes.

We have lost sight of the hungry stricken faces, become blind to the presence of the moon.?

Posted 8 Years Ago


Gotta love Bob Dylan, in my opinion the mans an inspiration to us all. I loved this poem, it was incredibly strong, i hope you got that A. By the way, sorry it's taken me so long to read this.
Great work!

Posted 8 Years Ago


One day you will learn "poetry"...

Posted 8 Years Ago


0 of 2 people found this review constructive.

Wow, very well written piece. I really wouldn't change a thing. Very true, inspirational, and visual. Strong message and amazing ending. I feel the same way as you about such human ways, just wish I could have wrote it the same, lol. Nice job

Posted 8 Years Ago


A sad and thought provoking piece worthy of an A. In the first line I think it should be 'there' instead of 'their'. Other than that its a nicely written beautiful, sad, gentle and abstract piece. With some lovely dreamy imagery.

Posted 8 Years Ago


This is really a good job! I can't say anything more...great!

Posted 8 Years Ago


This is good :)

Posted 8 Years Ago


When I read this poem for the first time (and I hadn't seen the author's note), I thought that it was all about the plight of the homeless. The first two lines, describing a broken man's shadow sitting in an alleyway and crying, first gave me that impression, and the rest of the poem seemed to back it up by painting a portrait of his situation "waiting for the world of despair to see his pain, but people have ribbons in their eyes" called to mind an image of homeless people sitting idle, wasting away while everyday people simply pretend they aren't there; "we have lost sight of the hungry stricken faces, become blind to the presence of the moon" is a very pretty line that seemed to suggest that we are ignoring something very important and obvious because it's convenient for us to. After the "covering our eyes line", the poem started getting more abstract and metaphorical, but I still felt at the end that it was a condemnation of society's attitude towards homelessness and poverty.

Then I saw in your note that it was inspired by Bob Dylan =p I've actually never listened to any of his stuff, so I looked up 'blowin' in the wind' on youtube to get a feel for it, and now I feel I understand the poem better. Honestly, it seems like it could be a Bob Dylan song, or an extension of the one you mentioned. So I think you did a really good job channeling your inner Dylan, because I can imagine him singing this.

On the first reading I didn't really like the line: "Time will stop, the world will break in half", but afterward I felt like it was trying to explain that no matter what happens, we will still go about our normal lives and routines and ignore the suffering in the world, so it fits. I don't like it quite as much as some of the other things you've written, because I you can make more powerful poems, but it's still pretty good especially considering it's like an homage to BD.

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

i'd give you an A+ for sure! nicely done!

Posted 8 Years Ago



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Added on April 10, 2011
Last Updated on April 10, 2011

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sentimental~ galore
sentimental~ galore

on the moon, CA



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Ranbir. Eighteen and looking for answers with great glory. Wrapped in the seeds of adventures. Vanilla coffee, Rasberry iced tea, and A Fine Frenzy. Bob Dylan Bucket of blues and eyes eager to see.. more..

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