Perfectly Well

 

I am fine.

Doing perfectly well.

As well as one can be

Who has a decaying emptiness where

Her heart used to be.

As well as one can be

Who screams in silence

Smiling all the while.

 

The minutes and hours will

Fly in the wind

Sheets of days

Leaves of weeks

Clouds of months

(They all mean nothing without you)

And I’m able to simply be

To merely survive

Behind the pasted, sticky smile

And the faded, forced light in my eyes.

 

But then one little thing

Any one little thing:

A memory

A picture

Just the one little thing

Will remove me from me

(my façade)

And connect me with me

(the real)

 

Unearth out the desolate loneliness

Revive the supernatural pain

And soundly remind me of the

Palpable longing.

And I won’t be so fine.

Not perfectly well at all.

Author's Note

Just some little work in progress, and it's kinda unfinished, kinda unedited, and not my best. Be that as it may, I still wanted to share it, so be gentle.. :) thanks. d.

Reviews

[Kimberly Smith]

love it just the way it is no corrections on my opinion.....great poem keep writing i really enjoyed it

[Charles D. Moorer]

My only criticism is that the line in parentheses doesn't need to be in the poem. Allow the reader to use his imagination. Let us work for the pleasure you provide us. I know all poetry is subjective, but enough of your writing is such that the universal comes through. Personally, I think this peice is fininshed.

[Brjden (Bridge-Den) Cre..]

Thanks for erasing my smile.
I loved the metaphors you used here and your word choices were great!

"Sheets of days
Leaves of weeks
Clouds of months
(They all mean nothing without you)"

There's some great brooding poetry! I can see you in all black on a dim stage with this one. Seriously, they do paint a great picture of sorrow. Great write once again!

"Any one little thing:
A memory
A picture
Just the one little thing
Will remove me from me
(my fa�ade)
And connect me with me
(the real)"

(sniff)......Bravo!

[Here's What I Say]

Well, I like this so far. I can relate, although it has to do with school matters and not romance (college life sucks right now). You don't have to be in love to always wear a fascade. I think we all do. You just have to feel like no one cares or shouldn't care so you put the happy face on even when you feel like screaming. Humanity has become abnormally brilliant at that. But I can related on the level you're writing this at too. I remember seeing my ex all the time at school and always wanting to hold him and love him, but I hid my feelings in the worst way; I called him names and smacked him around a little (not actually punched him, more like slaps on the arm). All those times I was being mean, but I was reacting that way because smacking him was the only way I could touch him. Le sigh.