Faithless Fate

Just a quick something I wrote to get back in the game.

 

 

The casket closes on scared flesh

of a faithless soul now hidden

from the feeling it fears.

 

Every twist of fate brings about

more mold and decay that grows

from the inside out.

 

Buried deeper and deeper

with every layer of dirt

that builds from lack of self worth.

 

The only hope now is that

the worms will feed first

on all remaining nerves.

 

Thank God it is too dark to see,

Now he can rest in peace.

 

Reviews

[Tracie Skarbo]

Wow, this is so deep and full of meaning. He is scarred and afraid of what his heart feels. Only in death is there release. He feels hope in the end but it is too late...and darkness encompassed him. Amazing. It almost feels like a metamophisis... Like a beautiful butterfly is about to break free of the smothering cocoon. Excellent job!!

[Kathy Van Kurin]

"Faithless fate"
Rock and Roll Cowboy,
When I read this the layers within meaning were obvious. You were using the allegory of death as your matte.
We die in little ways all our lives; laying aside pain, brokeness and etcetera, for we all are just different and relate and respond differently to our life experiences.
It even seemed like a phychological examination of the layers of brokenness within mental struggles and such. I am probably way, way off from your intent. Please forgive me If I am.
Enjoyed this one as I have your others very much!
blessings,
Kathy

[The Rock And Roll Cowboy(REBEL WITH A CAUSE)]

I am always in awe of your detailed reviews... poetry is open to interpretation so now matter what you take from it you are correct. Thank you so much.

[paul sal.....]

lets try collectively, as a species,to have faith in our innate goodness ,and controlling our own fate by having faith in our selves, garnering a cloak of self worth so that we can see and live in peace...............
brutal, poignant depiction of spiraling depression, makes my nerves burn, have to get some water.....

[jacob erin-cilberto]

did you mean "scarred" in the first line?

i think so...

i agree with tracie..this is really deep (no pun intended) but wow...

we bury ourselves long before we die...we die on the inside first...

if only we could rest in piece...hopefully those worms will feed on the remaining nerves...

you definitely are back in the game...

this kind of poetry is like frank o'hara would write...they just pour out...and often i think they are much better poems, more real, more natural than those meticulously constructed.

like it, Dale.

jacob

[The Rock And Roll Cowboy(REBEL WITH A CAUSE)]

Thank you sir for that deeply insightful review.

[zainul]

Amazing work.
The reality of placing someone for rest in peace has been depicted with great skill.
Could you check if these are typos?
1.The only hope hope now is that(hope repeated!)
2.Thank God it is to dark to see,('to' may be 'too')

[An owl on the moon]

Every now and then I like to journey back to your older writes. Glad I did. Powerfully vivid voice that yields to the depth of death's grip, and life slipping down...

[Tina Kline]

Words of someone so very deeply wounded by love. The hurt and pain come through very strongly, very well written.

[Jola]

What happens to the body after death, we can only see our soul...
We also are sometimes "worms" biting other people...
Good job!

[Jenny Nelson]

Lack of faith in anything, particularly one's self, can really do one heck of a lot of damage no doubt. It will "do you in" if you can't do something about it. Your imagery really drives your points home. More than very descriptive, to say the least.

[Ralphy]

Get back in the game...hey what are you trying to do here give me nightmares...lol actually this is a rather interesting write. It is dark and gloomy but there is hope, it's too dark to see so therefore, it doesn't exist. I suppose that I should tell you that your words are too descriptive and beckon the call of this scary write�.nice work.