The Lost Art Of Humanity

A repost of one of my favorite stories I wrote

  

         I stood in a never-ending line of dying humanity.  All I could do was watch all the people walking around in their own little worlds not giving a care to all the troubles around them.  This time of year was the worst.  It’s was Christmas time, a time when we should come together as family and friends to help one another in the name of the Lord.  No way was that going to happen because everyone was too worried about buying all those fancy gifts like they were buying people's love and affections.

            I knew right then that something had to be done.  I was going to have to make a statement that would help bring people together and it had to be done before Christmas was over.  After much contemplation I decided the best course of action would need to be violent and swift.  Something that would force people to take a look at their lives and the lives of everyone around them.

            There were only three weeks until the holiday so I would have to work fast in order to carry out my plan.  What I needed were some guns and I needed them fast.  Since there were waiting periods to buy guns these days I knew my only option was going to the local flea market.  There you could get some nice weapons that didn’t require a background check.

             While at the market I began noticing things that made me realize more and more that something had to be done and knew I was doing the right thing.  I saw people walking over a couple of homeless men like they were simply pieces of trash scattered on the ground.  Yes sir this was going to have to work for the sake of all.

            I proceeded to pick up a couple of semi-automatics, it cost me quite a bit of money but it would be money well spent by the time I was done.  Then I went to the clothing outlet and found a real nice trench coat to conceal the weapons until the moment I unleashed my frustrations upon the world.

            My plan was to go to the local mall on Christmas Eve around noon when it should be at its busiest, I figured the more lives I took the bigger the statement it would be.  I had only wished I would be around to see how my actions affected the nation but I would have to take my life afterward to put the exclamation point on the situation.

             I went about my business for the next few days. Going to work, hanging out with friends and family knowing it was the last time they would see me. I wanted so bad to tell them and say my last goodbyes there was no way they could know or this would never happen.  They would have to read about how I felt in my final letter to the world.

            

            The morning of Christmas Eve I could feel my heart beating faster as my time to shine was upon me.  I called my parents to tell them to never forget how much I loved them.

            “Is everything alright dear?”

            “Yeah, mom just wanted to say that.”

            “Your such a sweet boy.  Well, see you here for dinner around five o’clock?”

            “Of course, I wouldn’t miss it for the world.”  That had to be the first time in my life I had lied to my mom I just hope that’s not what she remembers after I’m gone.

            

As calmly as I could I drove to the mall and found a parking space way out in the middle of nowhere.  The walk was long but it gave me time to reflect on my life and what little I did and how insignificant my legacy was.  This moment coming would all but make up for that.

            My hands were sweating as I opened the door and walked inside like a normal person coming to buy last-minute gifts.  I looked around and realized nobody here knew what was about to hit them.  My final stand was here.  I thought to myself “Nobody lives forever.”

            I was about to pull the guns out and begin my road to glory when out of the corner of my eye an old lady carrying numerous shopping bags caught my attention.  She tripped and fell causing her bags to fly everywhere.  As she slowly tried to get back to her feet I was watching all those people walking by her and not even lending a hand.  I could feel a tear start to roll down my face because I knew that I was definitely about to do my part for humanity.

             I walked slowly towards the lady. When she glanced up I held out my hand“Here let me help you up?" omce I got her to her feet we exchanged smiles, then I said" Can I carry your bags to your car for you?"

Reviews

[Lorraine Pearson]

A very disturbing piece. As I read it, I kept wondering how come "he" wasn't just doing his part to make a positive change for humanity. Watching his actions...plotting and planning the obvious worse--playing judge and jury for everyone...just so he can go "postal." I'm so glad he softened at the end, and the real Christmas spirit bug bit him in the backside. I do wonder however, how did he ever manage to assist the old lady with the cumbersome automatic and trenchcoat he was sporting. :) I enjoyed your story.
~Lorraiyne

[The Rock And Roll Cowboy(REBEL WITH A CAUSE)]

thank you very much

[barleygirl]

The best part of your story is how you loop the whole thing around to get back to the reason this guy started out planning this shooting in the first place. Like you give him a chance to be the a*****e he thinks everyone else is, but he really is willing to walk his talk about humanity. The irony is also well done. My only suggestion would be to use your setting to build tension & mood. Instead of walking thru a door like a normal person, you could turn this mall into a monster & show it swallowing you up into this planned nightmare, your feet stuck to a rootbeer-splattered floor as if there could be no turning back, blah, blah, blah. You get my drift. But it's a great story just like it is. I'm just saying, for future possibilities. You need to write more stories. Your stories are 50 times better than your poetry, even tho there's nothing bad about your poetry! (((HUGS)))

[Marie]

Well, I was afraid this was going to be a destructive Christmas Story, but you gave it a good ending and made a statement as well.
I have several Christmas stories to post, but they run to the traditional.

[The Rock And Roll Cowboy(REBEL WITH A CAUSE)]

Well that is what I wanted, to throw in a twist and deliver a positive message. Thank you for taking the time to read it.

[Hoskinsish]

I absolutely love this. It makes a strong statement. A simple act of kindness can go much farther than a rampage. Nice work.

[Mary Fioratti]

Yesterday I was thinking about this. Christmas, and people just concentrated in buying. I have lived in USA for 20 years, and I never went to a "Black Friday". Last night, I invited my husband to go just to see how does it look like. In true, I did not want to buy anything. We went to Wallmart and I was really scared to see the power of buying and the "no care" feeling of people all around. Pushing another people. Concentrated in their own selfish... That picture looked like a movie to me.. and I was thinking how much people was not caring. It seems to me that they replace all these things for LOVE. I was reading your story, and kind of depressed to wait and read the end - kind of close my eyes and say: "NO!" and I really loved the surprise at the end. So human your story, and so well written!
*Mary*

[Sherwette]

I loved this piece. A simple gesture could change huge plans. I enjoyed it.

[Gabriella]

At first I felt this might be cliche, regarding feelings about the commercialization of Christmas. But I was pleased to find you took a very original turn with it. You've written a good story with nice flow, even with a bit of a question at the end. There are a few minor typos in here, but errors nonetheless.

"Can I carry you bags to your car for you.” Needs a question mark.

“Your such a sweet boy. Well see you here for dinner around five o’clock?” Needs 'you're' and 'We'll'

“Of coarse I wouldn’t miss it for the world.” Needs 'of course'

[Bud]

Without a doubt this has to be one of the most meaningful stories I have ever read. So much stated is a relatively small area. Anyone with a heart, and of humanity has felt this at some point. The feeling that something must be done to bring the spotlight on this overlooked, and ignored problem. Though that would be a powerful statement, indeed. In today's world, it would go unchecked. It is too common these days. I couldn't help but think of the Columbine tragedy. It had the same earmarks as this. That should have been a wake up call, but the bulk of society hit the snooze button. And many went so far as to turn the alarm clock off altogether.
It will take each of us doing our part to make a noticeable difference, Dale. Not much. With little effort, a good deed here, and a good deed there it will change for the better. Certainly can't make it any worse. But I'm afraid there are too many out there with that dreadful disease called greed. Power hungry. Power of materialism is like water and oil when thrown into the social mix of life. The greedy, powerful ones are the oil that contaminates us, the water...
Dale, this was a thoroughly enjoyable read. The ending radiates nothing but Brilliance. This has the power to become a classic short story for the ages to come. Powerful, meaningful message, ability to hook the reader dragging them in for the duration of the story. All the qualities found, and expected in a Master write. Thank you for re-posting. This is definitely going in my favorites. Your Talent shines not only as a creative writer, but your humanity and golden heart shows, as well.

[cest la vie]

Oh I am so glad you re-posted this story.
It has such a strong message. We can go through life and no matter what or when, we CAN choose to do the right thing.

I really love this story and I believe your other reviewers havae taken all of my words.
Great story, Dale!!

[THERISA]

Love your Film Noire approach to writing this short story. Feels like Humphrey Bogart, is telling this story to us, while sharing a drink or two with us, in his seedy office. And yes, like any piece of fantasy, the reader must be willing to suspend their disbelief and go with the story. Particularly, concerning the disappearance of the semi-automatics.

Amazing how it is the little things, which can alter a person life. Like the needs of the eldery woman, in the mall. Thanks for reposting this short story for us.

[Anastasia Starlena]

This was a very sobering piece. Oh the trouble we get into sometimes when we overthink situations. We want to get revenge instead of doing the right things. I like the better choice at the end. Perhaps a life changing point in his life.