Twisted Mask (Thoughts Of A True Madman)

Inspired by my favorite book Phantom Of The Opera.

  

  

 

These catwalks have become

A sanctuary for my shadow

To roam free from torment

As I keep a steady eye

On the unsuspecting characters

In my twisted play.

 

How can those pitiful fools

Believe they own the stage

When it is I,

With my own sweat and blood

That made this place

What it is

What I want it to be.

 

Soon they will learn

Or it will be

Their blood

That will become

My lifeline.

 

The night is my only friend

For it is when my music

Takes flight

Blissfully echoing

Through the corridors

Sung by my greatest creation…

 

Christine… the one who will love me forever

Because she owes me…

As do the rest of these ungrateful fools.

 

Wait who is this insolent boy

Who courts my lady’s affections

Oh when will they learn

That to betray me

Means the hangman’s noose.

 

This cannot be…

How can she be?

It isn’t possible.

Her love belongs to

 

ME!!

 

This will never happen

For I won’t let it be…

If he wants her so bad

And she desires him

Then the choice is clear.

 

If I can't capture her heart

Then I must steal her…

 

Oh and let her charming hero

Come after her and he’ll be the martyr

In my torture chamber.

 

Someday they will learn

 

Yes someday they will see…

That this is my world

They are living in

And if they refuse to bow to my religion

Then they can burn in my hell.

 

Consider me nothing more than

A Phantom…

 

When in reality I am

 

The GOD of this Opera House.

 

Author's Note

This is inspired by my favorite book Phantom Of The Opera... it takes a look through the eyes of the phantom as I see it. I hope you enjoy my interpretation.

Reviews

[Fran Marie]

Yes someday they will see�

That this is my world

They are living in

And if they refuse to bow to my religion

Then they can burn in my hell.



Wow~ this blew me away~Aptly Titled~Twisted Mask of... this is an Awesome!!! and Powerful piece~

What madness in thoughts truly lurks

behind the Twisted Mask of the Phantom~ A power-packed write taking the reader there

into the madness of the Phantom's world~THanks, Dale, for submitting this skillfully penned poem

to the Masquerade Ball Contest~

Fran Marie

[Laura Sparkle]

Oh I loved the book and I loved the movie and play as well. A well written piece Dale. :) Well done! Thank you for sharing it.
*Laura

[Dezaraye]

This is incredible! I LOVE this opera. I've never read the book, but I'm definitely adding it to my reading list. I love your passion and the point-of-view. I read the piece before I read the note, but I definitely knew from the get go what the piece was talking about. Perfect and going in my favorites!

[Succubi]

This poem is amazing! Its like your speaking from the Phantom's mind, and I can really feel myself in head and being consumed by what he is thinking...this poem gripped me...good job =)

[Jenny Davis]

Woah! This is awesome, Dale! I really like phantom of the opera too and I think, like one other has said, that you really got into his head with this one...He scared me, LOL! Excellent work, my friend :)

[Robert Luna]

This was written with such a heavy heart. As the words drip of emotions and I am always so pleased to find that. I love to be left to feel and have words course through my veins as I feel connected to them. I truly thought you capture the essence of a place we who have loved and waited for love to see us has felt. You once again have masterful tackled that emotion perfectly.


Great Job!!!!!

[.mate.feed.kill.repeat.]

I loved this piece; especially the ending. It fit perfectly. I've never actually seen or read the Phantom of the Opera, but I really want to. I love the music from the play, though.

However, I do have a few suggestions for this piece:

1. "Wait who is this insolent boy / Who courts my lady's affections / Oh when will they learn / That to betray me / Means the hangman's noose." I think that this stanza is lacking a lot of the emotion it could hold if you changed around the punctuation a little bit. "Wait who is this insolent boy" seems to go too fast. "Wait--who is this insolent boy" might work better because the hyphenation will separate "Wait" (the most powerful word in this line) from the rest and make it stand out.

2. I think that you should finish this stanza (^^^) with a question mark instead of a period. To me, a question mark seems more logical.

3. It would also seem more logical to me for you to have punctuated more often than just at the end of the stanzas. Otherwise, some of the stanzas become run-on sentences and are harder to comprehend.

This was a very well-written piece; it just needs a little touching up.

[Kelly D. Burris]

Wow, Dale this is fantastic! I loved the "lord over all' feeling he exhudes in this. The madness and his thought processes really pull you in and take you for a ride!
Great job!
Kelly

[Flow]

shhh.. I never read that book or even seen the movie... hmmm but I do love the poem, it is rich with character and deep in its thoughts. Very well done!!

[Brianna Brie]

These catwalks have become
A sanctuary for my shadow
To roam free from torment
As I keep a steady eye
On the unsuspecting characters
In my twisted play.

Nice twist to Phantom Of The Opera. It does it justice well. The first verse and last few lines are my favorite. Classic...

[Nicole (Carpe Diem)]

This is a great piece... fantastic portrait of the character through your eyes...