Hmmm...

just some funny thought I had and decided to share.

So the other night at my families Fourth of July celebration a discussion about their new cat came up and my sister mentioned that they just got him fixed.  Now of coarse I’ve always found that to be somewhat of a funny term cause technically aren’t you breaking the poor cat.  I mean everything worked fine in the first place.  So that got me thinking about certain sayings people use everyday but don’t really make sense.

 

How about this one.  When someone says a family member has died our natural reply and even I’ve been guilty of this is to say, “I’m sorry to hear that.”  Now we know what is meant by it but if you think about it that kinda sound rude.  You almost want to reply, “Well excuse me for telling you.”

 

Then there is that common reply when someone asked how you slept.  People often say, “I slept like a baby” when they had a good night sleep.  Now I’ve always been tempted to say to someone “Oh you mean you were up all night crying and crapping in your pants, why don’t you get at least twenty feet away from me.”

 

Now I also love when you ask a person how they are feeling and they answer, “I’m sick as a dog.”  So what does that mean your nose is dry cause usually when a dog is sick they have a dry nose and many times we are our nose is wet and runny.  I think we could label that as an oxymoron.

 

Of coarse there is the other end of that spectrum when someone might say, “I’m healthy as a horse.”  Once again I say what.  “To bad you ain’t as fast as one then I could enter you in the Kentucky Derby and make some money” is the smart a*s reply I’m always wanting to say in that situation, in fact a couple times I did.

 

Now this next one isn’t a saying but something that still makes no sense to me.  That is a softball.  Now anyone who has ever been hit by one of these, especially in the groin area can relate that they are anything but soft.  Let’s call them what they are, a baseball with an over inflated ego.  The only softballs I know of are nerf balls.

 

Anyways just a few funny thoughts that came to my head and figured I would share with the world whether they wanted to hear it or not.  You know inflict a bit of mindless humor on all my friends and anyone else who read this.

 

Reviews

[THERISA]

LOL, thanks Dale. As for the softball, its softer, than the hardball used, in baseball, but that don't mean a hill of beans, if you get hit by either one of them. My personal fave is, "are you done, yet?" Which one of my mom's brothers struck a fork in her thigh, when she said, "yes".

[Jenny Nelson]

Very observant, very true, and very funny.

[Georgia Gypsy]

thanks *laughing* i needed that!....feel much better:)

[closed account]

hahaha great one,,, standing up clapping!! go Dale go Dale go Dale lol

I really loved it,, fantastic tribute the stupid sayings that make no sense at all!!!

[Lizanne]

Gave me a great laugh for today. Very sure this will brighten the day of anyone that reads it.

[SM Davis]

too funny! well said, and delivered. I have to concur on all of them.

[Terry Shelly]

Wow.. I love this.. thanks for posting

[Carole]

Dale, I really enjoyed this tonight. You have shared things that I have often questioned, and I had to chuckle as I was reading. Why do they call it a "Soft" ball anyway, as you lay on the ground with an excruciating gut ache? What kind of a moron thought that one up?

I have had a literal cat menagerie in my lifetime and every single one of them got "fixed." Well, the orange tabby male-(DILLON)- that sauntered up the front steps that the kids just HAD to have, didn't get "cut" (probably a more appropriate term), until he had already accosted my Siamese and added 4 more to the mix. But anyway, you are right! Fixed isn't a good term. Another moron thought this one up!

Okay, this is my favorite one!

Then there is that common reply when someone asked how you slept. People often say, "I slept like a baby" when they had a good night sleep. Now I've always been tempted to say to someone "Oh you mean you were up all night crying and crapping in your pants, why don't you get at least twenty feet away from me."

Hilarious! I LOVE the humor here. You nailed this one to the tree! So glad I read this one! Keep writing humor. You are definitely good at it!

Still Smiling, Carole

[Monners]

You made me laugh about the sleeping like a baby thing...I guess I've never pondered the reality of that phrase...I'm taking an intercultural communication class and we talked about that the other day...how confusing it is to come across the phrases in other countries that make no sense such as these...there are some weird ones...What would someone think that's never spoken English hearing "it's raining cats and dogs"? weird language terms we come up with...the origin would be fun to look into.

[Silent Kim aka mizmetap..]

HaHaHa!!!!! You planning to take over for George Carlin, you're on way. I can hear you on stand-up.