Mosquito

Buzz, buzz,

In my ear.

 

Suck, suck,

There goes my blood.

 

Slap, slap,

Hand on my arm.

 

Fly, fly,

It got away!

 

Swell, swell,

Goes the bite.

 

Scratch, scratch,

Fingers go on the bump.

 

Buzz, buzz,

In my ear…

Author's Note

I thought of this poem while I was walking through one of my fields slapping mosquitos. It's not very good, and suggestions of how to make it better would be awesome. Thanks so much for your reviews, and taking the time to read it!

Reviews

[Cricket Kidd]

This feels like the sort of poem that should rhyme, for example:

Slap, Slap,
hand on arm.

Fly, Fly,
They begin to swarm...

Yeah, I'm not too good at poetry either.
there are some elements that I really like about it though, the repetitive patterns at the beginning of each stanza. that's cool. and how the last stanza is the same as the first, implying that the whole cycle starts over again.

Good job!

[Krystal Nicole]

Haha. . I think that's the order of actions for everyone when those stupid mosquitos come around. . Ideas how to make it better? I have no idea, but I think it's good the way it is.Great job

[rae52]

i think it is really good i have never read a peom quite like that but it is good to be different

[Macy A. Brown]

you entered this poem into one of my contest and you were in the top four untill one more spectacular poem came but you lasted for 2 days.
You should kepp writing poems like this.
they dont have very many words but are still great.
great details. you descrided enough for the reasder to understand but you didnt do to many details.
overall Great Poem!!!

[for my ♥]

...LOL way too cute

[panheadpigments]

Haha funny concept! I like it.

[Jaded Mermaid]

So creative to make a whole poem about the topic. I have mosquito bites all over, it is quite annoying, especially since I have to show up to work with big huge red splotches on me now.

[Jean Alexandria Randall]

I like this. I hate those little creatures. Every time I step outside that swarm me. I have bites all over. Very well written.