The Passionate Dance

 

 

Indescreetly we meet

As we pass on the street

Of desire

There was a time

Our passion burned

Like lighting a match to a fire

And we danced

 Like there was no

Tomorrow

When you held me

I was in

paradise

You charmed me

Like fred astaire

Standing there

What a lovely

Pair we made

Like buttered toast

And orange marmelade

And we danced

As we made sweet

Romance

Never afraid

To take a chance

On love

The first time

I looked into your eyes

 The orchestra played

Our favorite tune

As we danced 

By the light

Of a neon moon

 Indescreetly we meet

As we pass on the street

Of desire

There was a time

Our passion burned

Like lighting a match to a fire

And we danced

 

 

 

 

Reviews

[Legion]

Let the music play on and on and on...... :)

[LSS]

Wow, I'm glad I took the time to read this. This is absolutely your best!!! And the photo is exact and wonderfully chosen to add to the magic of this masterpiece. 'What a lovely Pair we made; Like buttered toast And orange marmalade." Your imaging is superb and allows us mental pictures that hold our thoughts for longer than the story lasts. I would have liked to see another set of lines pursuing the thoughts a little longer before you summed it up, but - Oh well.
If I can, I'm going to add this to my favorites, you'll be the first - what an honor. Got to go read it again, keep it up.
Lar

[The DuchessPoet]

Your images set the stage much like your writing...
********************************************************************************************************************************************************
This poem captures our attention with its aroma and keeps our attention with its flavor!
In "real" life I'm a chef and i think , as a reward, it entices my senses which have become
VERY keen! :-)
This poem entices my senses...
your words:
Like lighting a match to a fire
And we danced
Like there was no
Tomorrow
When you held me
I was in
paradise
You charmed me
Like fred astaire
Standing there
What a lovely
Pair we made
Like buttered toast
And orange marmelade
And we danced
As we made sweet
Romance
Never afraid"

When I read... I see Mom & Dad dancing. His arm up and her face smiling as he leads...
Daddy taught me how to dance as I stood on his feet!
You invoke such wonderful memories!

This is sensational!

[George Love]

I will say this read very well, but I think you could tweak a few lines and make it into a more traditional style poem, it would be much less stacatto in flow. The meaning gets lost in the abruptness of the short lines which could be combined, the ryhmes kept and not affect the total work.

[Shellie]

This is a beautiful piece, I don't really know what to say except that. The whole piece is well brought together and its fantastically sweet. I think I'll add this to my favourites. I cant pick any fave lines because i love it all. at this rate ill never be able to criticize ur work!!!!!

[just is]

When you held me
I was in
paradise
You charmed me
Like fred astaire
Standing there
What a lovely
Pair we made
Like buttered toast
And orange marmelade
And we danced
As we made sweet

I love these lines this is so sweet and and so sincere lovable write.