faint fears

no rules

no boundaries

no worries

and no griefs

that is what how I set the base

to this whatever you may call it

between us.

Now I realize certain fears

over the matters which I took no concern over

Now when we meet together

how will we reconcile?

my needs and my wants will be now my vanity

and tears my only companion

How can I be a hoarder, a beggar or freeloader

I ask my self

I deny to ask for things twice even to my own people

No need has yet surfaced as such

which went above the logical mind.

But now I realize I am doing just that

coming to your home

eating free, living with you

and I sense the hostility that brings

the greater sense of discontent 

that I had failed to notice in the earlier days

I intend to claw myself

before I take something

but If I would have it, would I not share

I aim to reject everything

but can I? 

am I really in that position?

Two years is my answer

just two years

I needed to avoid

you and all the men 

who wanted me then

in these two years

I would fly on my own

and with whomsoever I would choose to rest

I would share

and have my heart at peace.