Love Again.... I Killed....

 

 

PHILIP LARKIN – LOVE AGAIN

          Someone else feeling her breasts and c**t,

Someone else drowned in that lash-wide stare,

And me supposed to be ignorant

Or find it funny, or not to care,

Even ... but why put it into words

Love again…

 

I love my girlfriend.

 

She's the one who turned me lesbian. She's the one who made me realize how many bad relationships I've been in with guys and that I needed her. I realized I needed her so much that no one else could ever have her. She was mine and all mine. She was never to belong to anyone else and always only mine. She used to think it was funny when I told her that. When I told her if I couldn't have her no one else could. She thought I was so cute just to have a jealous side to me. Except it was never jealousy; never a joke or funny; never a game. It was all real and she had to learn it. She had to learn that she would never have the chance to love again. She could only love me and had no choice.

 

I had love for my girlfriend.

 

She was a happy person. When we first met she was very flirtatious. Always flirting with everyone but always knew she only liked girls. I liked her for that. I liked her for knowing what she wanted. I met her at lunch. I was new to this school and she was in front of me in line. Getting her food she could see I was lost. I was trying to find somewhere to sit. Once I got my food I just stood there looking around feeling lonely that I would probably have to eat standing. All of a sudden she walked back my way. "Hey cutie," she said, "come sit with me honey." We got to know each other very well. We shared stories about our whole lives, became best of friends, and soon after we became partners. partners for ever.

 

I loved my girlfriend.

 

The day after being almost a year with my girlfriend she came up to me and told me we needed to talk. I could see in her eyes she was serious. So we skipped school and snuck into my house. We just sat on the couch in my basement and I waited for her to start talking. A deep breath and then she said, "I don't want to be with you anymore. I want to be with other people. I didn't want to tell you but I have never been faithful to you. You were just so cute and I loved you, but I never fell in love with you." She waited for me to answer. "B-bbb-but why? Why won't you stay with me? I love you. No you have to stay with me. I won't let you be with anyone else. You're mine. Only mine. No one else's." She replied, "Look please you can't tell me who or who not to date. It was cute before this whole jealousy thing but you're just acting ignorant now." I thought to myself. Someone else feeling her breasts and c**t, Someone else drowned in that lash-wide stare, And me supposed to be ignorant, Or find it funny, or not to care, Even ... but why put it into words? I spoke in a gentle voice. "No I will not let this happen. You will stay close to me forever." Anger filled me and then with much strength I forced my hand around her neck and choked her till she stopped breathing. I spent all day in my backyard digging a grave all the way by the corner. I had a lot of land. It was no problem worrying about anyone finding my love. I put her in her grave. And then on the tree that was above her resting place I carved…… You will always be mine.

 

I killed my girlfriend.

 

Reviews

[the_real_me]

this is good it kind sounds like the way my best friend acts

[Writer CW Kirkland]

This was an excellent, thrilling, and dark tale. I am impressed with your imagination...at least I hope it is just your imagination. :-) I would have liked to have a more suspenseful build to the moment when the girlfriend is murdered...maybe more detail about the strangling to build the intensity. I also recommend that you reread the story to check your grammar and sentence structure in some areas. Overall, this was a great story, and I felt the intensity as I read. I thought the beginning was smooth and grabbed my attention right away. You chose a great poem as a basis for your story. Thank you for sharing your writing on the Cafe, and I look forward to reading more of your work. Great job!

[justink :):)]

WOW just one word for that story it was CRAZYYYYYYYYYY

GOOD JOB

JUSTIN
AKA justintime

[DiANA]

tHAT WAS SiCK.
MADDD GOOD.
i LiKE HOW yOU SEPERATED
EVERyTHiNG iNTO DiFF. SECTiONS

[BRACEfaceeee]

I LOVED IT!
the way you put it all together was excellent

only one little problem is that you speak in diff. oparts of speech
just have somebody proof read it lol like me =)

other than that

BANGIN JOB DUDEE!

[RADHICA]

WOW THAT WAS RALLY GOOD I LOVE THE WAY YOU WROTE IT....I LIKED THE WHOLE FORESHAWDOWING THING THAT WAS NICE....N IT WAS VERY VERYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY GOOD....SUBPERB WORK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Fra/c/ture]

paragraph1:
was could ever have her

para2:
stories bout our
soon after mates

para3:
I then with much strength force my arm

the above three spots are parts to edit grammar or spelling etc. other then those there's not too much to fix here. i would maybe break the large paragraph into smaller ones. there are a few lines where you might be able to change the wording, like the last sentence. you do a nice job of saying real plainly how you killed the g/f and all but the last sentence doesnt seem to do the story justice. is there a better last sentence you could come up with? the rest is stellar.

[A U R i]

WOOOW THAT'S CRAZy!
GREEEAT STORy