Please

Please

A Poem by Phillitup
"

To you...you know who you are.

"
I'm right here.
Staring down at you,
but you won't look up at me.
I wish you would,
so I can know that you're fine.
So maybe you'll flash me the smile that makes my day.
Why are you avoiding me?
I need you,
and you need me.
Blaming everything and everyone else,
but I'm blaming myself so I break down.
I run from you,
because you are so fragile.
I don't want to hurt you.
So I'm lost.
I need you to sit beside me, not saying a word.
Just understanding.
Hugging me close so we're together.
Then pulling me to my feet and squeezing my hand.
Wiping a loose tear with your finger.
While your eyes glisten on the brink of joining in.
Because I know you care,
and I want you to know that I care too.
Please, look up at me.
I'm right here waiting for you.
Please

© 2013 Phillitup


Author's Note

Phillitup
Please...

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Featured Review

Very sweet poem about....best friends? That was my take on it. I have a similar relationship with my best friend, since I know she's so amazing and misunderstood but she's overly submissive and lonely, unable to see me. The only thing I have to poke at is that it gets a little choppy in the middle of the poem, and you put periods on the ends of all the lines, when some of them should have commas. Pretend you're writing a paragraph and look at all the lines in the poem you can push together to make a longer sentence. Overall wonderful and easily relatable poem, a good write. :)

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Phillitup

6 Years Ago

Yes, best friend. One of the most amazing people in the UNIVERSE! Thanks for the advice on the comma.. read more
Riley Bray

6 Years Ago

You bet! Any time!



Reviews

WOW. You are a VERY talented writer. I can feel the connection you have with your friend strongly, and if I were them, I'd be extremely grateful to you for caring when they're in such a confusing time. My favorite lines were, "I need you to sit beside me, not saying a word. Just understanding. Hugging me close so we're together." It sounds like something I would want to do for one of my friends; I'm really quiet, but I want them to know I'm there for them. All together, a well written piece! Your friend is very lucky to have you!


Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Phillitup

6 Years Ago

Thank you...your kind words have humbled me. :)
HennaPenguin19

6 Years Ago

You're welcome! I'll be here any time! (although I'm new so I doubt I'll be much help) :)
You have pushed all my emotional buttons with this one. Great job. I love writers who dare to show genuine emotion. Like Lisa Doolittle said: 'Don't talk of love; show me.' Thank you for letting me cloak myself in your skin for a moment and share your passion and genuine affection for your friend. My favorite lines are: 'So maybe you'll flash me the smile that makes my day.' and 'While your eyes glisten on the brink of joining in. Because I know you care, and I want you to know that I care too.'

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Phillitup

6 Years Ago

Thanks! Always great to hear from you! :)

I like those lines too...they mean a lot to m.. read more
As Riley said, best friends? Maybe they're scared to look up? Or cautious of what might happen if they let you down? Lovely poem.

-Willa

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Phillitup

6 Years Ago

Yeah, I guess. Glad you liked it.
Very sweet poem about....best friends? That was my take on it. I have a similar relationship with my best friend, since I know she's so amazing and misunderstood but she's overly submissive and lonely, unable to see me. The only thing I have to poke at is that it gets a little choppy in the middle of the poem, and you put periods on the ends of all the lines, when some of them should have commas. Pretend you're writing a paragraph and look at all the lines in the poem you can push together to make a longer sentence. Overall wonderful and easily relatable poem, a good write. :)

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Phillitup

6 Years Ago

Yes, best friend. One of the most amazing people in the UNIVERSE! Thanks for the advice on the comma.. read more
Riley Bray

6 Years Ago

You bet! Any time!

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Added on April 30, 2013
Last Updated on April 30, 2013

Author

Phillitup
Phillitup

FL



About
I am 14-years-old. I find inspiration all over the place: memories, ideas, things I notice. I like believing in things that others find impossible. I think that's the way I hope for a better future. .. more..

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