Ice House of Broken Gears

     My body's bloated on the tide
           Rivers of bloody tears
  My lungs are choking on Chloride
       Ice house of broken gears

     Push my body to the marrow
         Expending all my years
     Living lies with no tomorrow
     Ice house of broken gears

   Broken down to a credit score
        What life means to me 
I'm nothing but a paycheck w***e
        This life is failing me

 Constructing damaged alternates
       Running on angry fears
    Frustration always incubates
    Ice house of broken gears

  Thrown to corrupted legal men
           A jury of my peers
    Prosecutors unleashed again
     Ice house of broken gears

   Dragged into a broken system
     designed to make me pay
     Turning me into a victim
    They took my pride away

  Always running the tilt a whirl
   Sick clowns with ugly leers
 Watching life sink down a swirl
   Ice house of broken gears

Reviews

[Lady Ra]

Great poem. There was a wonderful lecture by a woman named Dr. Clarissa Pinkola Estes - the lecture was called "The Boy Who Married an Eagle." In the lecture she speaks about how men are treated in this culture as if they do not feel, but men have all kinds of feelings; all kinds of hopes and dreams. Men in this culture are taught to work themselves to the grave. And now women are too in addition to raising children. This is a marvelous poem. Very brave and eloquent.

Ra

[Baby Ricochet]

Thank you Lady Ra. I appreciate your input.

[Rogue]

Strong statement on being pushed around and frustrated by a broken system that is supposed to help the individual.
Rhyme and flow were very smooth here.
Tremendous job on this. :)

[Baby Ricochet]

Thank you Rogue

[Leslie Philibert]

a fine rant against a system that turns us into `human resources`and not individuals, paycheck w***e is a great expression. A plea for more humanity at work,show this poem your boss !

[Baby Ricochet]

I should do that. Thank you Leslie

[KeelyJane]

Sublime work. You definitely knew what you were doing with this one you for the read request. It was a pleasure

[Baby Ricochet]

Thank you Keeley

[Nia Hope]

Just wow awesome job!!

[Baby Ricochet]

Thank you Ankara

[Will]

This is the most impactful and most skillfully done use of repetition I have ever seen. Excellent work with the rhyming, and the flow is the best I've seen from you. The sharp metaphor and colorful imagery smacks me right across the face, and it does so wonderfully. Broken men in broken systems rarely get anything done, and when they do, it is menial. Your frustration is understandable, but fight through it. Great write, Mark, and good luck.

[Baby Ricochet]

Thank you Will

[The Daisy]

A very potent subject conceived with potent words.

[Baby Ricochet]

Thank you

[The Girl That Let You G..]

Genuis and...the flow is PERFECT!
Your words are powerful, and the frustration is evident.

[Baby Ricochet]

Thank you girl

[s y e]

Woweeee, this is amazeballs! O.o It's so vivid and a very powerful write.

~ Noodle

[Baby Ricochet]

Thank you Noodle

[Peter H]

lovely use of repetition within the last lines of every stanza , you tackled some of the impurities of life this fustrates us all from time to time .

Dragged into a crooked system
Designed to make me pay
Turning me into a victim
They took my pride away

that stanza stood out as the best one too me great write BR

[Baby Ricochet]

Thank you Peter. I appreciate your review.

[Emily B]

when our words meet metal we can change the world

:)

sound your barbaric yawp over the rooftops

[Baby Ricochet]

Tank you Emily