I Wanna Be Top Writer

Inspired by the Writers cafe's secret society s**t storm. A not to bad of an idea that quickly went awry

Straight to the top of the poetry chart
That's a fair deal to me
I don't want to work or do anything
Just hand it all to me

I can't be bothered to send RR's
I'm too cool to review
I'm too brilliant to learn to write
Cause I'm better than you

I write free verse with my eyes closed
hammered on whiskey sours
Hemingway was drunk off his a*s
That's how I spend my hours

So when I wrote my masterpiece
It didn't make the top
It's all that other writer's fault
The one who has me blocked

When all I said was he sucked a*s
and couldn't write a list
Some constructive criticism
So now the a*****e's pissed

Can't you see my brilliant genius
I shouldn't have to work
I don't want to write my way up
Cause I'm a lazy jerk

I don't wanna play the WC game
The social network shtick
I don't want to write reviews for
A bunch of rubes and hicks

So gimmi gimmi gimmi that top spot
I want it right away
Screw you chumps who worked for it
Who cares about fair play

Reviews

[Dean Kuch®]

Ah-h-h-h, my dear BR. Who has decided to piss in your Rice Crispies, my friend? Whoever it was, you ought to bow, then extend a warm and hearty—"Hey, thank you!"—'cause this poem here, it's a keeper! They have certainly inspired you to write a scathing, wicked satirical poem, which makes many valid points, I might add. I will say one rather derogatory thing about WC...It certainly ain't the place for writers of stories to go, that's fer damn sure! Just look at the live feed, for example. Poem, poem, poem, poem, poem comment on poem, poem...ad infinitum. I prefer to write stories. That's why I'm rarely ever here anymore. No one wants to take the time, it seems, to read a story. I'm no poet, that's a given. But, I do know what I like, and this little gem is going in my personal library.

As I said earlier, it's a keeper!

[Baby Ricochet]

Thank you Dean. Sadly that is true about stories and the WC. Poets are ADD cases.

[Emily B]

invite me to a story and i will read it

[Nusquam Esse]

How unfortunate that his profile was closed. I was actually curious what his stories would be about.

[Philip Muls]

Which site is good for stories ? Any tips ? Regards Philip

[Jack...]

My man, this is it. If this doesn't reach the top I don't know what will. This is so freakin funny...I wish you luck because if I had written this I would have my head taken off...I might still. Very cool, very, very cool.

[Baby Ricochet]

Thanks jack. I might get my head taken off for this but that's okay. I've had my head taken off before and so far I've been able to find it and screw it back on.

[Frieda P]

I'm literally rolling on the floor laughing here Mark, it figures you'd be the one to write this!! WAHHH!!

'So when I wrote my masterpiece
It didn't make the top
It's all that other writer's fault
The one who has me blocked'

Ha, still laughing my arse off!! So you wrote this to get to the top eh? Clever you....!

[Baby Ricochet]

Thank you Frieda. I'm glad you liked it

[Frieda P]

Go BIG or go home eh? Loved it!

[Frieda P]

Ha, number 3 on the hit parade already!

[Frieda P]

Still want to know who the arsehole is.... ;-)

[Pete Langley]

....BOOM BOOM!!!! You wannit...? YOU gottit!! P.

[Baby Ricochet]

Gimmi Gimmi Gimmi