Ricochets at the Water Park and what NOT to teach a kidA Story by Baby RicochetThere's nothing like alcohol to make a stupid idea seem brilliant.A friend of my girl has a ten year old son with no father. He wanted to go to Adventure Island water park in Tampa. Somehow I got volunteered to take the little wiener. Two women were in on this so no way was I getting out of it. Besides, we're talking about a water park full of water slides and wall to wall dripping wet girls in bikinis running around giggling. It's not going to take much convincing to get me interested in that. So I took little wiener to the water park. Little wiener was fascinated by my service in the corps. So he asked me about thirty thousand questions on the drive up. Some were serious, other were silly. Like how many people had I'd killed and what color socks did Saddam Hussein wear. He seemed disappointed when I told him there are some things you DO NOT ask veterans and that I'd never met Saddam Hussein. But he kept on asking questions. I humored him as best I could but he was starting to drive me crazy. I thought. "This might not have been such a swell idea." Finally we got to Adventure Island and we actually had a great time. There were plenty of dripping wet girls in bikinis running around giggling so I was mightily entertained and both little wiener and I had a ball on all the water slides. Little wiener didn't pay much attention to the giggling bikini girls. I thought "puberty hasn't kicked in yet." Which was great. He should have all the innocent fun he can in his childhood years because puberty is going to f**k all that up eight ways from Sunday. It sure as s**t happened to me that way. Little wiener slept for most of the drive home. I was relieved for the hour of silence this provided. Then when we got home and we all gathered for dinner and us grownups had some wine I had a major lapse of judgment. While the girls were in the house doing whatever it is girls do in the house I took little wiener outside and taught him how to make a flamethrower with an aerosol can and a Bic lighter. I thought he should experience the sheer joy of flames spitting from a can of raid and the cool a*s sound the aerosol and oxygen makes when it hits that lighter before puberty fucked his life up and took some of the boyhood wonder out of doing really stupid s**t. This was basic boy stuff 101 when I was growing up. He thought it was the coolest thing that ever happened in his life. A United States Marine had taught him how to make a flame thrower. In boydom it doesn't get much cooler than that. His mother however had a very different take on the situation. When she found out I was the one who taught him that trick, oh boy. She went screaming to my girl and my girl came screaming to me. Man was I ever in the hot seat for that one. I know I shouldn't have taught him how to make a flamethrower. But still, boys love destructive, powerful things. And some women don't get that.
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Added on November 27, 2014Last Updated on November 30, 2014 AuthorBaby RicochetTampa, FLAboutI write just for the hell of it A way to spend some time Blurting out in cyber space Whatever's on my mind Maybe funny maybe tragic Emotional and raw Politi.. more..Writing
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