Haute Tension

Stream-of-conscious style, in response to Lola Nation's, "Jazz Piano and Where You Left Me."

no safe word

no release

just high wire

with no net

no net

a 20 knot

wind

with no net

bare feet

callouses

the long walk

and sway

the long walk

and flex

cramped arches

the long flight

down

without wings

horses

without kings

without the kings'

men

and you

you will never

be put back

together

Author's Note

Stream-of-conscious style, in response to Lola Nation's, "Jazz Piano and Where You Left Me."

Reviews

[cest la vie]

What a wonderful SOC.. brilliant....

[D.R. Wilsey Jr.]

Actually came across this piece after reading Lola Nation's piece, which I loved.

With your piece, I feel like I can grasp the state of mind someone walking a tightrope may find themself in. The uncertainty of accomplishing the act and the very real certainty that if you're not successful...well, you wont really have to worry about failing at anything else in life.

Ah, the tightropes I've walked through life.

Excellent piece.

[Christopher Todd Dallas]

Like most literature, it's how you, the reader, interprets it. If the author has not sufficiently guided the reader in the general direction (subtle suggestion), then the writer has failed or needs an edit.

In the end, was the reader entertained? Was there enough left to the imagination?

This piece is a combination of elocution, euphony, stream-of-conscious, all with the flavor of desperation bathed in sweat.

In this instance, the protagonist is in a moment, not introspection, but immediate desperation. Maybe the protagonist committed a murder, had an accident, was in some kind of imminent peril.

The image that goes with this is a set of feet on a high wire, one in front of the other. Haute Tension - High Tension. The wire and the protagonist are under tension. I probably should have displayed the image as well.

The best feedback is when the reader can express what the narrative evokes. Then , it's the writer that interprets the reaction and learns from it or is validated.

My formal education majored in Criminal Justice and Computer/Information Systems. I've been an English honors student from high school through college. I'm not an English or literature scholar, just a spectator that can write.

The honest truth is that I have learned the most from Stephen King. Setting the genre aside, he is the best living writer. Others certainly entertain us but their work is ultimately forgettable.

Would you ever tire of reading The Stand or The Gun Slinger?

Discarding punctuation and standard form is a minimalist approach and, when done right, focuses the reader on the narrative.

Poetry, flash/micro/short fiction are well served by introducing intense, well-placed words, use of line-breaks, cutting out prepositions and articles when possible.

[Lola Nation]

Hah, I read this and didn't even see the response, wow. Thank you.

(now back to my review)

I can see the person walking, swaying a little an doing a flex - the long walk, the maintaining a bit of composure, catching the sway and flexing to show you're moving on...

and then... the reality ... no gentle landing, no royal hand outs, no even an army could put the broken, calloused soul back together again...

[Honeypot]

This is interesting. I wonder if its a metaphor? It could be one for life and a word of caution to "follow the straight and noarrow". I think if you let loose and just write you sometimes don't even realize the topic until you have a chance to stop and examine what you've done.

I'm curious about something. Have you had a formal education in literature?

I like the lack of punctuation and capitalization. It works to make the piece a little edgier.