A Wish

hope you would enjoy my best piece written so far.......

My useless body, looks outside the window.

Sees the pleasant nature, 

comes a wish to run across the velvet grass.

The lovely rain makes me jealous,

 of children splashing in the puddles.

Once I want to wander,

 explore the fragrant flowers and the nectar fetching

 butterflies, in my garden.

The silent four corners of my room,

 reflect my helplessness and ask, 

 can my cursed body ever go out of the window?

The one who hears my unheard pain is the bed on which

 my body lies,

 since the time immemorial.

 

 

Author's Note

Thanks for reading.

Image credits goes to Google and http://www.flickr.com/photos/46987892@N05/6830788957

Reviews

[James Hanna-Magill]

Dear Devanshu

It is with absolute joy I welcome you to this website.

I am simply another aspiring writer on here and I like reviewing the words of others.

Firstly, you are very young. The internet can be a dangerous place. Take your brother's advice and help, to use it well as you are doing here.

I looked at your profile and could easily roll back the years and see a commonality in interest in the writers you like. In fact I still admire them to this day.

I praise your passion for writing.

I can see already much talent from this beautifully composed piece which celebrates the beauty of the world and nature, whilst boxed in a bedroom , when you want to be out there and enjoy it.

Some of my writing is accessible to all and some is restricted to those who are over 18.

Such are the demands of maturity.

Please may I ask you one thing?

Please keep up your passion for writing and stay on this site, which I consider a secure environment so that we can all enjoy your well constructed words and see the world as you see it for the betterment of us all.

I have a notion at 14 that you can teach me more about life and perception than I could ever teach you at 53.

Be encouraged.

I loved this piece and its perfect simplicity.

Please do not worry about reading my writing. Some of it will be restricted.

I do not require your review, just that you keep a free spirit, an open mind and teach us all .

With my warm regards


James

[Devanshu Rajput]

thank for your response ! I would certainly consider your advice.I love people of guidance and boosting confidence, because I know this is how I will learn.

Take Care!

[Jeremy Baker]

Simplicity and beauty all in one! A fine piece of writing :)

[Devanshu Rajput]

thanks

[Thomas Fitzgerald]

A well written peice that relates well to the reader, well done.

[Devanshu Rajput]

thankx for ur kindness

[sithlordjp]

love the rythym and structure of this one, it has a nice flow, makes for a great read!

[Devanshu Rajput]

thankx:)

[Leslie Philibert]

This is indeed a fine poem from a very talented young poet ! ( Great use of language 1)

[Devanshu Rajput]

thanks

[N!LoC]

oh my.... silly question... r u paralyzed or something? (sometimes i take things too literally)

[Devanshu Rajput]

no i am not!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Devanshu Rajput]

if i were so i would not be able to sit here!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111

[N!LoC]

lol

[Baby Ricochet]

awesome

[Devanshu Rajput]

thanks

[Holly Mason]

deep words of sadness
feeling trapped in a space that has you making so many decisions
thank you for sharing

[Devanshu Rajput]

thanks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[eeoopig]

A nice piece, though very sad. A great way of conveying how people with certain illnesses may feel, good work!

[Devanshu Rajput]

thanks