Nothing on Me

Personal Narrative on Nightmares

The worst demons that I have faced have been the monsters my own dreams have created. Nightmares were never a thing for me as a child. When reality became destructive in my early teens, only then did I have terrors in my sleep. Never had I seen a scary movie when I started having these dreams. But now that I have seen a horror movie or two, there is nothing there that my sleeping moments haven’t frightened me with before.

Everything starts with a jolt. Suddenly, I awoke bound at the wrists and ankles. A silent scream could not escape from my throat. My eyes had been taped shut. My sweat seemed to be stretching down from my hairline, trying to grasp at the tips of my eyebrows. As I jolted my head to analyze my surroundings, I realized that I my hair was no longer the luscious locks which grazed my upper back like I was used to. Replacing my long chestnut curls was a short jet-black bob. The itchy, oversized scratchy dress draped on my body was not something I would ever clothe myself in, so why was I wearing it? Why would someone want to change my entire preppy image that I tried to portray?  

With growing panic, I tried to force my eyes to sweep the vicinity for any clues of where I might be and why.  I couldn’t. The sticky adhesive was a blocked my vision. I could discover nothing. I could not see. So my other senses had to go into overdrive. I tried to thrust my hands behind me and they hit something soft. It reminded me of a sofa or stuffed animal. Leaning over to discover more about my surroundings, I felt a cold piece of metal. My ears perked up. Whizzes and murmurs swirled around me. Then I was reaching, trying to recollect any information that could provide an explanation for my predicament.

A smooth masculine voice came from the front of this undisclosed location. 

     “She’s awake.”

I wanted to talk. I want to know what he wanted, how he captured me, and why I didn’t remember a thing. I wanted to know what was happening, why I could not speak. I felt numb.

“Good. Hillard, now you need to listen closely to what I am going to tell you know. Remove the ties from her ankles and wrists. Take the tape off her eyes. You will have to help her to the car when we leave. She is weak right now. You know that. You can’t let her see where we are going. That is for her own good, you know that. Through everything you have to remember that. ”

“Yes, sir, I’ll remember that. This brings back memories. It is a difficult day.” Another, deeper and husky, voice quivered in an uneasy tone.

“I know. This is your first day, and that’s okay. Explain what is happening. Remember how you felt when this happened to you. Let her respond. She is losing her entire life today. She might scream and cry and bite. One day, she will look back and understand this. She will understand us. She might be like you, Hillard, and become one of us eventually,” the first voice explained.

Hearing everything, I devised a plan to kick and fight with all my power and passion when he removed whatever was holding me down. It was now down to a battle of survival and I had to be the victor. When he released my chains and I was ready to hit whoever Hillard was with a mighty upper-cut, flying like a butterfly and stinging like a bee.

My guns were at full throttle when he set me free, but I had no strength, even my adrenaline couldn’t save me. I felt dead. Wait, was I dead? Why would they talk about me like this if I were dead? No, I can’t be dead.

Then the tape was peeled from my eyelids in such a fast motion that it reminded me of the first time I got my eyebrows waxed. A tear leaked from my eye. That was real. Dead people didn’t cry.

When I finally opened my eyes I was blinded by the brightness. Every light resonated off the white walls. It was painful. Then I turned and saw the silky ebony skin of who I could only presume to be Hillard. The valleys and crevices of his club-bouncer frame were intimidating, but his kind face looked so full of sadness that my fear melted from within me.

“Wait wait wait wait wait. Be very slow, Delilah. You are going to be lightheaded. Don’t want you passing out on me, darlin’. I know you are scared. I was too when I went through this. Trust me, everything will work out,” he said as he fumbled with the solid gold metal on his ring finger.

His eye contact was soothing. He penetrated my fear and made me feel so calm that I was wondering why it was so easy to blindly trust him. I felt sharp pains that I didn’t understand, but my mind had so many other questions that I forced all of them down like a bad breakfast.

Soon, he led me into a dimly lit hall way which relieved my eyes. As we continued I had to lean on Hillard for support. He told me I would. He expected it, which put me at ease. The roughness I had expected was nowhere except on his callous-ridden hands.

After traveling through the empty corridors, he led me outside to a moonlit and star-speckled sky.  This place was barren, almost too barren. But I was too delirious to notice. Hillard told me to get in the back seat of the car. At this point what other option did I have? And if they wanted to kill me, they had ample time in whatever building it was I had just exited from.

The man who was with us before was in the driver’s seat ready for us. And as soon as the doors closed, window coverings arose from the doors, obstructing my view of where we were going. And then I knew I was owed an explanation, even though I was so exhausted from the walk in the building that I wanted to fall asleep for ten thousand years. It turned out, that was what these men wanted too.

“Okay, Delilah, I am sorry about all the secrecy, but it was needed until we got here. It is about your sister. She and boyfriend got wrapped up in the Mexican Drug Cartel. They owed a lot of people a lot of money so now they are coming after his family and yours. They stabbed you in the stomach and in the leg. We had to rush you into surgery. You just came from the hospital. We are driving to the airport where we will put you on a flight. We cannot tell you where, but you will be reunited with your family, except for your sister. You are now in the Witness Protection Program. Your new name is Courtney LeBlanc. I am your handler until you get to your final destination,” Hillard explained.

I was frozen. My thoughts corkscrewed. I had no idea what to do. I still couldn’t speak. I just shivered, shook, and then started bawling. I got so worked up, and then bang, I was out like a light, Asleep. Everything ends with a jolt.

This was one of the worst demons that I have faced. It is a reoccurring monster my own mind has created. I don’t know where it came from. I don’t know how I got to a place where horror stories played out in the time when I went to sleep. Nightmares were never a thing for me as a child, but I’m not a child anymore. Reality has become a destructive force that has made me realize these terrors could take place in places other than the warmth of my bed. Never had I seen a scary movie when I started having these dreams. But now that I have had horror dream or two dozen, there is nothing that the cinema can say that I haven’t frightened myself with before.

Author's Note

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