A Glass of Milk

Wake up call

A glass of milk 

Was all it took

To teach me what

We 'learn' in books.

As my hand reached out 

For that cool plastic jug

I was instantly reminded 

Of how lucky I was.

I could quench my desire 

For a cool evening drink

Reach for a glass

And not even think.

Shock and awe 

Soon ensued

I sat there staring 

Utterly confused.

How many of these comforts

Have I mindlessly abused?

How many times have I filled my plate

Wolfed it down and not said thanks?

How many times have the days gone by

Where I'll walk by a friend and not say hi?

How many times have I taken for granted

the fact that I don't have to live my life

by a lantern?

As I put the jug away

My hand shaking as I reached

Mind still racing 

From ideas silently preached.

Reviews

[Mark]

How casually we take advantage of the innovations of the past, without giving appreciation for the sacrifices made to gain them. How much poetry would be written, if we still had to pulverize chalk and ashes in our pestles, mix them into a slurry, and then pluck, hollow out and sharpen a bird's flight feather, just to be able to make a line on paper? Then again, maybe the increased effort of the olden days is why the older stuff was so much better!

[Stephen Scaggs]

Dear Andrew,

Thank you for the read request and I'm sorry for getting to your read request so late.

As I delve into this piece of writing, the first thing that catches my eyes is the odd structure of the poem. I don't know if you purposed it like this, but if you compare the first stanza with the eighth stanza, it seems like the rhythm meter is a bit off. That is, stanza one and line one has four syllables while eighth stanza and first line has nine syllables. Having too many syllables in one stanza more than another stanza can break flow, especially when you center the text, it becomes really noticeable. I like the nice, easy, and simple message of your poem and it's hard to find such simple poetry.

Don't capitalize the beginning of each line. "As I put the jug away // my hand (is still) shaking as I (reach). // (My) mind (is) still racing // from ideas silently preached." You have an incredible way of expressing yourself in your words, soaking your reader's attention like a sponge. The depth perception of this poem is fathomable. Add grammatical punctuation where appropriate. Like in stanza six, "filled my plates(comma) wolfed it down(comma) and not said thanks?"

Besides from grammatical errors, I find little wrong with your poem here. Very well written and has high potential. Love the metaphors. Keep writing, n_n. 9.3/10.

Your Reader,
S. W. Scaggs

[Emily B]

thank you for this :)

[Ed Hart]

amen... I was having dinner at a diner with a friend many years ago...when the waitress brought our juice, I looked at my friend and complained about how small the glass was and the fact that it wasn't cold...he raised his glass to his lips and said, "Praise the Lord" and drank it down. That changed my life...

[Yesterday Today]

This is a great poem the only problem I have is why and how such profound thinking was erupted from getting a drink of milk? Well-written, nice flow.

[deeps]

This is a very well writen write here. I agree with what Tate had to say.

[Dana Kathryn]

Drew,This is Lovly!!! I think that your writing ability is grand!! ;)

[Tate Morgan]

wELL We take for granted much But our forfathers built the world in which we live and i for one am glad they did .I cannot imagine being anywhere else
tate

[Jeannie Wilder]

Bah! Such common and simple luxury that we often take for granted. Extremely well done -- you're throwing us the reality and in such a delicious way :) Kudos friend!

[Subjective Sanity]

Brilliant! I'm speechless....