Black Bird

It is about my first love, and how he regretfully managed to break my heart. This poem metaphorically and through allusions describes the emotional journey I went through at that period.

Once hurt and broken bad

With wings withered and flight forgotten

The injuries can be cured but the phantom pain retains.

 

He took away my happiness in a blink of an eye

Washed away my love filled heart, 

Where his name was embedded with permanent ink.

 

This little bird could not dream to soar this world again

Crippled, distorted, wishing to hide, ashamed of its broken pinions.

Daylight seemed a lethal weapon, exposing all truth.

 

I gave him my whole soul, and body and what is beyond

My dreams, my laughter my ultimate affection.

To be thrown away with one unfaithful night?

 

Time was the only remedy for the ailing sparrow

Hurling, savage winds have now calmed down

Sharp edged boughs coated in silky leaves.

 

But now I am alive.

Today I can dance, sing and smile.

Today I can fly. 

Reviews

[Friday]

Very good epic-like. "Hurling, savage winds have now calmed down...Sharp edged boughs coated in silky leaves." wonderful wordings for example. I somehow expected the final word to be "again" or something similar. An ending like that would be in line with how the piece start off as far as I understand. Just a thought that struck me. Very fine!

[dianalondon]

Thank you very much! And yes I agree with you, it would make sense to add "again" after "Today I can fly".

[Free_Soul]

your style of portraying your pain is amazing.. it kept me engrossed till end.. well done !!

[dianalondon]

Thank you very much for your wonderful words! :)

[Free_Soul]

Welcome :)

[ConfuzzledKidd]

"But now I am alive.
Today I can dance, sing and smile.
Today I can fly. "

I love the emotion in those lines. I'm glad you're alive again!

[dianalondon]

Thank you very much! Im glad you have enjoyed this :)

[Rose of many colours]

That was a trying time for you, My goodness you put deep feelings in this piece. This makes it unique..

[dianalondon]

Thank you very much. Yes, it took a lot to write this poem, it was a release of cooped in emotions.

[Lydia Shutter]

No, we can not erase the name or the emotions of first love. They stay with us throughout our lives and as the song says, "the first cut is the deepest." Great metaphor in your poem. There is empowerment at the end....a feeling of moving forward. Well written. lydi**

[dianalondon]

Thank you so much for your review. And yes its exactly that, that I wanted to portray. That no matter how deep that cut is, all wounds eventually heal.

[Horizons]

Well structured write, liked the poem. Loved the concept.

[dianalondon]

Thank you very much!

[Hanna McGivern]

I love the line about his name being embedded in your heart with permanent ink!! It could have came across very clique but you worded and described it so well that it framed it perfectly. I think we all remember our first love but I have always wanted a way to describe how you will always remember them without sounding like a cheesy love song and you have done exactly what I have been wanting to do for ages. You capture the enthusiasm that every girl puts into that first relationship, that total trust and open heart feeling that you wish you could take back when they break your heart. I loved reading your poem, I look forward to reading the rest of your work :)

[dianalondon]

Thank you very much for your wonderful review Hanna, I am very glad you found this poem relatable. :)

[Tom]

Time heals a broken heart !

Lovely poem enjoyed the read !

[dianalondon]

Thank you very much Tom!

[Coyote Poetry]

"Time was the only remedy for the ailing sparrow
Hurling, savage winds have now calmed down
Sharp edged boughs coated in silky leaves. "
No truer words than the words above. Time heal all wounds. We may not forget and become wiser. I like the description of struggle leading to the positive ending. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[dianalondon]

Thank you for the kind review Coyote! :)

[Lisa Victoria]

You've captured the moment with great imagery, beautiful.

[dianalondon]

Thank you so much Lisa!

[Vani Jalagar]

I loved every sentence. It is difficult to remove the stains of pain left for us to suffer ,luckily it recovered then again life will be filled with colors. But this happens very rarely.
nice writing...:)

[dianalondon]

Thank you very much, I am very glad you liked this :)