IMMORTALS KISS

I wrote this one a long time ago, and I lost it... today I found it..

Come hither within,
Your life’s lonely end,
A touch of  forevers youth.

Dreams of nights of sinfully
Plights and days of peacefully slumber.

Hold my hand as we explore this land.
forevers-promised gifts.

 

One touch from my lips to your sweet skin,

will accept my Immortal Kiss.

Author's Note

This is one of my first vampire poems, I lost it and couldn't find it for several years, and Today I found where I hide it.

Reviews

[BrightEyes]

hon, i'm so sorry. I dont know what happened. I'm reviewing this again, in the hopes it will let me rate again. I slid the bar over - it said 100 and I hit rate. After it loaded, it said 89%. I'm going to try to rate again to fix it. I'm so so so sorry!

ok - here's what I did - I deleted the review with the other rating - which I hope deletes the rating. Anyway - liked this one! loved the phrase "forevers promised gifts". and how that led into the ending of "immortal kiss". ok - trying this again.

*hugs*

laura

[SM Davis]

I've done it three times...I'm sending a note to Charlie. I rated it 100% three times and it only gave an 89%. Maybe he can fix it?

[SM Davis]

It did the same thing to me. I'm going to try again. I'll send a note to BrightEyes too. You're so good at writing horror in such a way that it is SO ENTICING!!!

[Dead Angel]

very well written, there was so much description in such a short piece of writing. the picture helped in seeing your words come to life. very well done!! :)

[Fantasyfairy]

This is a wonderful piece, I'm glad you foud it, it would be a shame to loose such a wonderful piece of poetry. XX

[Nicole (Carpe Diem)]

amazing piece of writing... glad that you found it!

[Celtic Cat]

It's interesting to see an old piece of your after reading your current pieces! Without trying to be offensive, I have to say this does show how far you've come. The emotions are strong, but a few words feel off, like Gary mentioned. Perhaps it's just he and I, but I would change sinfully to sinful and peacefully to peaceful. But, as a treasured old piece, you may wish to leave intact, which is, of course, the authors perogative!! (sp?) No spell check in review mode, shucks. Anyway, I did enjoy the piece as a whole...it's got a good rhythm and puts us nicely right in the thick of it. Well done.

[poddar kushal]

the poem is a mini movie inside it. the words nicely coupled with each other and gave rise of sinfull passion into me!

[Andrea A. Wentz]

Ouh, very nice, very chilling, though rather alluring! Thank you for posting it :D

[An Ordinary Woman]

I'm glad you found it. It's beautiful and the power of your words shine through.

Excellent writing!

[Robert Luna]

Very well written piece of work here. I love how you are able to express yourself so perfect that any one that reads your words is able to feel the emotion and strength of them. I always enjoy the thoughts that your words leave laying in my mind. I always apprecaite being left to think and ponder.

Great Job!!!!!