The Notebook of Dreams

An unexpected poem

I had not intended to write this today

As the sun shines

Through waning days of autumn

I had thought to write

Or of my garden, overgrown

Or of my love for husband or daughters

But

Out of every pore

Loneliness crept out

Showing its face in decayed light

Not joy

Not even ever-defining chores

That surround and fill my day

But the loneliness

That seeps into

Crevices and bone

Making marrow of nights and days

In timely fashion

Perhaps

This was not what I asked for

Or maybe not

But nonetheless

It crowds my thoughts

And permeates my view

I am tempted to cry

The tears of resignation

But remain dry-eyed

In the face of this

My enduring legacy of fear

When I am no more

Will you have known

My secret heart

Will you have found this,

My secret notebook of dreams?

copyright/all rights reserved Audrey Howitt 2011

Reviews

[asdarkeyesclose]

'But
Out of every pore
Loneliness crept out'

some days even when we are surrounded by people and laughter we feel lonely for some strange reason. sometimes it takes a lot of strength to be a human being :)

[Ruth]

Sometimes, we can be in a crowded room and still feel loneliness seeping through our pores!
This is written with ethereal beauty love, a really wonderful piece :) There is always somewhere to place a thought...dreams....
Glorious work xoxo

[Archia]

'My secret notebook of dreams'. There's something, almost magial, about that line, I'm not really sure what it is, but there's something there, and it's a good thing. I really enjoyed reading this poem.

[Rene Velez]

I find myself in this state as of late, it reflex in our thoughts, beautiful in your description and well written in words.

[realmwriter]

Should I stumble upon your "secret notebook of dreams", which I'm sure I already have I would find myself pleased to be in a dream not of my own, even if that dream is one of fear and loneliness. I've bee afraid and still am of some things. Loneliness on the other hand seems to be something I cannot overcome, at least not right now. This sight and poems such as yours help me to get over certain fears, so thank you for that..Very Good Piece...!

[Seshat Nidaba]

You are a dove, only a dove could write this. You speak of things that any woman would intuitively understand. This makes me think frankly, of all the things women who do for service, for community, for families, that keep everything together, that keeps the world moving. Is it strange that I would see all women in this write? And why is this...

[Hayley]

First off, sometimes the poems that are unexpected are the ones that are the most meaningful and genuine. I get this way sometimes on a perfect day it seems, and I just can't get away from the nagging feelings that never leave the back of my mind.
I like the last line, it really ties in with the secret heart line.
Also, it was really creative how you successfully included "Making marrow of nights and days"
Really interesting and imaginative!
Excellent work!

[KAREN]

Sad poetic words that aches the heart and cause the reader to feel the same loneliness. Well done!

[Tina Kline]

That icy cold question that haunts in lonely moments or maybe with loved ones all around when feelings of loneliness suddenly hit. The question that seems to lack an answer. I was really moved by this poem. Well done!

[J. J. Nightingale]

I too feel the cold loneliness .. The heart forsaken .. Joy longtime gone .. Tell secrets of the soul, before you are gone, then maybe there will be a new chapter of joy in your notebook of dreams ..

In Peace and Love ... Jasmine