How Do I Find Me?

how do I find me

shop in the mall
waste loads of money
distraction is the name of the game
it deflects, not defines

get an education
define myself by profession
is that passion
or confusion
yet another type of distraction

take off my bra and wear beads
would I be putting on a new type of ball gown?
updated and "free-thinking"
or just another way to draw eyes to myself?
a way to escape the real scrutiny of my soul

no I think I become
one day at a time
one interaction at a time
one crisis at a time
one love, one smile, one hug, one hurt at a time...
it's what I do with them that builds me
stronger, kinder
or rough and weak
each days mood can bring about its own result

but...

if I am driven to a specific end,

that being kindness, compassion, gentleness and love,

then these are just the means

I have finally learned to see the good in me