Chapter One

Chapter One

A Chapter by The old me

Chapter One:The Introduction

There are 6,900,000,000 people in the world and 310,232,863 people who live in the United States. 77.3 % of United States citizens use the internet. In your lifetime, you meet about 1,500 people. 3.2 % of those people on average, you will meet by internet means, like chat rooms or social networking. Also millions of people a year use the internet to date people. The success rate of dating and meeting people online is very slim and even slimmer that the person you meet will be in your area. And let’s add living a long distance away from the person you meet; the success rate is even slimmer. So the rarity of meeting someone online who lives a long distance away who can makes an impact in your life and who can help your life for the better is almost f*****g impossible. But this so called story is one of those rare cases, not to foreshadow too much but you should know almost anything is possible in this story.

This story is between a man and a woman. I will just called and refer to them as the man and the woman. Everyone else in the story will have nicknames or their names will be based on their descriptions. First, to avoid people thinking they know every character, who are actually based on real people. Only I know who all of them are. Second, so no one claims this is awful to say about people they may know, even though it’s all based on fact. 99% of this story is true; the 1% is a margin of error and also is just in case to cover my a*s so I can express my view points, valid or not, of the facts. As the author, I may add my own commentary to the story or like little side notes. I’ll even throw in some humor and references about a lot of stuff a lot of people can relate to. Let’s just say I’m here for your entertainment, and to break up the dramatic nature of some of the events. Damn I may have foreshadowed there for a bit, just forget what I said. Plus with the little comedy comments, I can package this story as a possible romantic comedy. Probably cast Michael Cera as the man and a blonde Emily Browning as the woman. Or if I’m really desperate for money, I will sell it so it will become a lame; I mean an awesome, lifetime movie. Lifetime movies: murdering, beating or raping women since 1984. And yes I’m a bit of a sellout type, you may say “well he’s probably also cheap”, yes, yes I am. Also people may or may not like me being a part of this story but when you have to write all this crap down, somehow you have to get your witty comments out somewhere. And they may not like my comments, because they may be seen as rude, mean or harsh. Just saying, they probably are those things but doesn’t mean they aren’t true. Well back to the main story. We will start with the background story of the man, because men always come first, and you know what I mean. It’s also that women always get to go first, and hopefully this story can change the world’s view.



© 2011 The old me


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Reviews

Amusing and I found the statistics at the beginning interesting! I'll make sure to read more of this. (I would leave a longer review, but I gotta run.)

Posted 9 Years Ago


LOL about the Lifetime movies haha xD
-goes to read on-

Posted 9 Years Ago


The end of Chapter One and I still know nothing about the main characters. You sir, are my kind of author! Your sense of humor is either going to be really good or really annoying. Let's see which one it is.

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I like your sarcastic, gritty humor, which really hooks me. I enjoy reading books that have humor, even dry humor; otherwise, I put the book aside for other reading. I do like the start of this, so I will be reading on to the next chapter. I was wondering if you were planning on getting this published? Let me know, I would love to help you edit or refer some people that are the masters of editing! So far, I like what I have read...off to chapter 2.

**One thing I have to point out this is quite short for a chapter, considering most chapters are any where from 2500 words and up.***

Posted 9 Years Ago


So true, it is rare to find that one person, it make take a lifetime of searching and sometimes you may want to give up but nobody said it would be easy. That's why you can't just settle for anyone.

Posted 9 Years Ago


sounds interesting!

Posted 9 Years Ago


Cool, i like your style ^^

Posted 9 Years Ago


So I definitely enjoyed the introduction. It kept me interested because I am very interested in witty commentary such as what you use throughout it and the way you are involved in the story, I can't wait to read the next chapter!

Posted 9 Years Ago


Wonderful intro

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

great intro. little note on lifetime movies was spot on.

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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Added on March 22, 2011
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The old me
The old me

Los Angeles, CA



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If you notice some of my work is gone, that is because it is. I trimed down to put only a few on the site. Message me if you want to know anything about me. I'm an open book more..

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