Chapter Four: Asylum

Chapter Four: Asylum

A Chapter by The old me

Chapter Four: Asylum

            I arrive at the Brookfield Mental asylum. I plan to somehow show that little Roger was cured. I would first tell him that everything was fine and that he didn’t need to worry. If he believed that then maybe he would be able to be set free. I saw that he did have other family that he would be able to live with. If not, I would somehow adopt him or something. He just deserved better.

I go inside and talk to the lead nurse. I speak first.

“Hello, I’m here to see Roger Robinson.”

“That will be a problem.”

“What do you mean? I’m a cop.” I show her my badge.

“He passed away last night. Somehow he got hold a pencil and he killed himself. It was shocking for someone so young.”

I was floored. He didn’t show any signs of being that depressed. “Can I see the body?”

“Umm…I have to ask my boss. One moment.”

After a few moments, she comes back with a man. The man speaks to me.

“Sorry we have already moved the body. We did our investigation and now looking for how he got a pencil.”

“Ok.”

I walk away. Something isn’t right here.

I call up Hector and ask him to pull up everything on the Brookfield Asylum and send it to my email.

I quickly drive home to look at what information I have.

I get home and open the email. Nine hits. Nine cases of patients killing themselves. Which maybe it’s a big deal for a mental asylum, but I found something weird. All cases involved someone with no other parents or no one checking up on them.  I guess Roger would be the tenth case. Some of the bodies looked pale. I searched all my lore knowledge to find if anything strange happened here. I find something, it kind of fit if this was actually one of those strange cases.

The bogeyman. The stuff of legends. That one creature that most parents had to tell their kids that wasn’t true. I even had to tell my own daughter it too. But I guess I was wrong. The legend fit what maybe what was happening here. The bogeyman used his powers to drain people, normally kids, to make sure it would survive. It’s only other power was it could be invisible when it stalks it’s pray. I don’t know how someone becomes one of these things but it seemed impossible that this was real. Apparently the only way to kill one of these things was to stab it in the heart or cut off its head. Simple enough.

The hard part was figuring out who it was and how to know what it was. I decided on a bold plan that could get me access in there to find out. I leave my house and go back to Brookfield. I go inside again and see the same nurse from earlier. It’s almost near closing time. I go up to the nurse station and speak to her.

“Hey, I need to see your boss again.”

“Why?”

“My bosses told me I need to close his whole murder case and now his suicide.”

“Ok, I’ll get him.”

She leaves and come back pretty soon with the man. He speaks.

“What can I do for you officer?”

“I need to see the boy’s room.”

“I guess you can see that if it helps but it’s pretty empty.”

“Can you please just show me it?”

“Ok, follow me.”

The security doors open up. I’m told to place my gun in the safety box and all other sharp items. The nurse from before takes the items and opens the door to Roger’s room.

The doctor and I go inside. I search around for a bit. The room is very neat, only old strains of blood on the floor. I see a camera in the corner; I question the doctor about it.

“Did you review the cameras?”

“Yes.”

“What did it show?”

“Well he wasn’t facing the camera but you do see him stab the pencil in his neck.”

“Do you think he was suicidal?”

“He was very troubled but I wasn’t his main doctor.”

“Who was?”

“No one. We are overbooked and he was a new patient.”

“Well see that over the past 5 years that nine people, now ten have committed suicide, it’s that strange?”

“I wouldn’t know, I only have been here for three years, and I’m the longest doctor to work here.”

“So no one has worked here all five years?”

“Only one person.”

“Who?”

“You met her. The station nurse.”

O f**k. I got the wrong person. I go to leave but the door closes and locks. The doctor jumps and speaks.

“What the hell?”

He runs over to the camera in the corner and yells to the nurse.

“Open the door, nurse!”

She doesn’t. And next she turns off the lights. The emergency backup lights turn on. The door reopens. The doctor walks towards it. I yell for him to stop. But it was too late.

A metal pole comes shooting out his back. Next comes all the blood in his blood being release out. She holds his body near her for a moment. I think she is maybe draining him. Then a force tosses him next to me against the wall. I hear footsteps coming towards me but I don’t know where she is. I pull the pole from the dead doctor’s to defend myself. But I really can’t see her. So I do something gross but it needed to be done. I scoop up some of the doctor’s blood and toss it in the direction of the footprints. Some of it lands in midair. It must be her. I push the pole forward and land it on something hard. I see blood oozing out. I get up from the ground and head outside the room. I go to the nurse station to get my gun. It’s not there. I look down the hallway. She is standing there, now fully visible. She speaks.

“Looking for this?” She was holding my gun.

She aims it at me and I close my eyes. I hear a shot.

I don’t feel anything. I open my eyes. She is down on the floor. I look around and see Chip behind me with his gun raised. I still see the smoke rising from it. I speak.

“Thanks for the save. How did you know I was here?”

“The doctor here called the department and I answered. So I wanted to check up on you and see what you were doing.”

“I came to see the kid from a case but I found out he committed suicide. Then when I was here, the nurse killed the doctor and was after me.”

“Well seems you got luck this time. Next time call me for backup.”

“Alright. Thanks again.”

“No problem.”



© 2011 The old me


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Reviews

I'm a bit confused on the time line. Prev chapter hinted 1950's and this chapter has email. I would like to reread the story when you edit it.

Posted 12 Years Ago


Very suspenseful, but like at Muse, it's often too brief. I really think just adding some more meat to the conversations would help....describing body language, tone, and Colt's inner thoughts every so often.

Posted 12 Years Ago


Great plot, but too brief at times, I did not feel any emotion. You need emotion so the reader can make an attachment to the characters. Keep it up, I'd like to read more. :)

Posted 12 Years Ago


Nice chapter. Good flow throughout the story.

Posted 12 Years Ago


Lovely description here, and this is unfolding really well, but again, I would try to elaborate, and give up your folklore in shreds, one fact at a time, and leave conclusions until later on, just so that the reader is left wanting to know. It would give your writing a faster pace, that's all :)

Posted 12 Years Ago


Your chapters are very much to the point. You kind of know what to expect during the next pivotal moments. Try to elaborate more, especially when the Doctor gets stabbed with the pole. Explain how the characters feeling, go inside his mind. Don't be afraid to drift from the subject, its okay. It makes the reader want to read it even more.


Posted 12 Years Ago


hummn..0.0 its great !

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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Compartment 114
Compartment 114

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Added on June 11, 2011
Last Updated on June 11, 2011


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The old me
The old me

Los Angeles, CA



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If you notice some of my work is gone, that is because it is. I trimed down to put only a few on the site. Message me if you want to know anything about me. I'm an open book more..

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