Chapter Four: Can you huffle my puff?

I meet my other roommates. One is named Clinton Roberts. He was about my same age, black hair, white and just average size. He was also a young wizard who dreamt of being as great as Harry Potter. Our other roommate was Marcel Washington. Young black man, of course. I didn’t know what he was, all I knew was to hide my belongings, expect for my turtle. I hated that.

I throw my bag on the top bunk and climb the little ladder to the top. I pull out my iphone. No service. Verzion said they covered everywhere, I guess magical realms didn’t count.

Edward calls out from below, “It’s time for our first class together, Self-defense.”

“Ok.” I get my empty backpack and place my turtle in my lower pocket. Maybe it will die and I can get a new pet.

I climb down the ladder and follow Edward out. We walk to class and he is talk but I’m not listening. I just stare at the pretty girls in the hallway.

We walk into the classroom and it’s empty. We are super early I guess. But suddenly I spot something at the front of the room. It’s that damn baby.

I walk up to the baby, who is laying in one special little chair for it. It’s awake and stares at me.

“What the f**k you looking at baby?”

It still stares.

“You kept me awake the whole flight here, f**k you.”

Edwards calls me over to sit next to him. I point at the baby and flip it off. I walk to my new seat and sit.

After a few moments, the class fills with other losers and we are waiting for the teacher. Someone yells out, “Wheres the teacher?”

Suddenly from where the baby was sitting, it stands and speaks.

“Hello class. I’m Professor Giggles.”

F**k I already cussed out my first teacher.

He stares at me as he makes his way to stand on his desk.

“Ok class. We have an important first test.  You must face your fears.”

He motions to a man standing it the corner and he leaves for a moment. He comes back with a giant mirror.

“This is a mirror of fears. Not a creative name but it just will show all your fears.”

He points at me.

“You can go first.”

Little prick.

I get up and go to the mirror. I stare into it.

Suddenly my fears appear.

A giant naked black man, a Mexican home depot worker, and an old Asian woman in a car.

I scream out.

“Don’t let me get raped! Don’t let him steal my job! And don’t let this b***h hit me.”

I run from the mirror to my seat.

Professor Giggles laughs aloud and speaks, “They can’t hurt you.” He giggles and points at Edward.

Edward gets up and goes to the mirror. Once he gets there he pees even before the stuff appears.

His face turns pale. And professor Giggles speaks. “What do you see?”

“Its…its…a grimus with gardening tool.”

I laugh aloud. I was the only one.  I yell out, “Like the giant f*****g purple retard chicken nugget?”

Edward mumbles, “Yes.”

He runs back to the seat next to me.

Wow.

Next up is our other roommate, Marcel Washington. He walks to the mirror and looks at it.

His face looks shocked. Professor Giggles asks, “What do you see?”

“The cops. They just found my weed.”

I laugh. I’m the only one again.

Class ends and all of us leave. Before we all leave. Professor Giggles yells aloud, “Oh and for the student who cussed me out earlier, that will be negative ten points to Hufflepuff.”

I quickly leave the class so they don’t b***h at me.

Next class is Underwater basket weaving. I walk in the hallway as I hear Edward yelling out to walk with to it. I finally stop. He turns to me.

“Didn’t you hear me?”

“Yes, I did. I just didn’t care to stop.”

He looks at me a little shocked then laugh, “Oh you are such a kidder. That’s why I think you can be my new best friend.”

“What happened to the other one? Nibbled him to death?”

“Well I actually never had a friend before.”

“Shocker…”

“I know. I don’t understand why. It must be because I’m a werebadger.”

“Sure, it’s that.”

“Can you wait for me? I need to go to the bathroom.”

“Didn’t you pee enough in class? Ok, I’ll go too.”

We walk inside the bathroom and I go into the stall. I look in my pockets for my spare joint. Yes, I smell a little. I only had two left, and I need to use this one now.

I light it up from an old match and I start smoking. Edward speaks from the stall next to me.

“Do you smell skunk?”

“Yeah, maybe it’s a wereskunk.”

“Hey don’t joke about those. They are dangerous.”

“Ok, sorry.”

There is a long pause, “Hey, Thomas, why is there a hole in the wall?”

I laugh but he doesn’t hear. “Look into it, there maybe someone special on the other side.”

“Ok.” I hear him moving and then suddenly he screams, “Oh my f*****g god.”

I laugh aloud and get out of the stall. I go outside to wait for him.

Edwards comes out in shock.

We walk to class and all he keeps repeating is “Penis.”

We arrive at class quite early again. Edward sits and I spot at stunning person from the opposite gender in the front of the room.

I walk up to her and begin my charm.

“Hello, I’m Thomas, and who is this beautiful maiden I’m talking with?”

“Oh hello, I’m Stacy.”

“Well Stacy, you are quite stunning. Are you a witch? Because you have put a spell on me.”

She laughs. “I am. And you are pretty stunning too.”

I smirk and lean into her, “Want to go out back and smell this jay before class?”

“F**k yeah.”

We walk outside into a small hidden garden. I light up my last joint and start smoking. I pass it on to her and she speaks.

“So what do I owe you for allowing me to do this?”

“Nothing, it’s all good.”

“Well I had an idea for something.”

“Ok, what is it?”

I finish my statement and she lunges on me. We fall to the floor and we start making out. After a few moment we are naked and on each other. We have some great sex and we both finish at the same time.

We get up and get dressed. We walk inside and noticed that everyone must have heard the screams.

Stacy speaks loudly, “Hello class I’m Professor Walker.”

I’m shocked and I stand there. She leans in and whispers to me.

“Thank you for huffling my puff.”

She walks to the front of the room. She speaks to the class.

“Before we begin ten points for Hufflepuff for extra work.”

Reviews

[Morrigan Nicole]

Gaah, I had a feeling she would be the teacher, almost as funny as the baby! Professor giggles!

[A.E. Surdam]

Damn. I loved this chapter. You wouldn't expect the professors were the baby and the girl named Stacy. Awesome. I loved this chapter I can't wait for more.