Chapter Seven: Black Doctor

I look at the van and laugh to myself.

Blair looks at me. “What are you laughing about?”

“I feel like John Benjamin. Hello I’m John Benjamin and I have a van.”

Her face turns to one of those “what the f**k” faces. “Who is that? Some pedophile?”

“It’s not a rape van…Well never mind, I think after his show got canceled, he killed and raped an underage dolphin. I don’t know the order he did it in.”

She laughs.

I look around the forest outlining the van for what made that loud noise. After a few moments I see what it is.

Lying in the grass next to the van is Boba Fett. You can smell the alcohol on him. He struggles to get up but he does and sees me.

“Hey, hey, hey… f**k you.”

He stumbles towards me. He speaks loud this time.

“You b*****d, you stole my van.”

I don’t think he can tell who I am so I signal for Blair to start walk away.

Just then from the tree line, a large purple creature comes towards us.

Bob Fett yells, “I’m way to drunk, it’s that a f*****g chicken nugget.”

Yeah, it was. Standing there with a hungry look on its face was a Grimus. The scary thing to fast food since the super-size option, burger king’s rapist king mascot or those gross tasting salads anywhere.

I pull out my blaster and aim to shoot. The Grimus smashes Boba Fett into his van. I fire my blaster but it just pisses him off. Blair and I run back towards the castle.

We run our fastest we ever run. The Grimus is close behind us. Blair is a little ahead of me and I shout to her.

“Wait up.”

“No. I don’t have to outrun the Grimus, just you.”

“You b***h.”

We keep running till we are out of the forest. The Grimus is almost in arm’s distance.

I pass a gardener that strangely looks exactly like Luis, the one Marcus killed. I stop running and point to him. “Aren’t you Luis?”

He looks at me; I know it’s him now. “No senior.”

Just then the Grimus grabs him and tosses him into the tree.

I catch back up to Blair and we reach the castle doors. I see Edward near it. I yell ahead.

“EDWARD RUN!”

He looks at me but can’t see the Grimus yet. “Hey mister, I have a bone to pick with you.”

I run pass him and yell back, “There is Grimus behind you.”

I scream a girly scream, so I think Edward saw it.

The Grimus still chases us in the courtyard. And we get inside the main castle room. The Grimus crushes in the building.

We keep running till we hit a dead end to the hallway.

We are fucked.

I shoot it with my blaster but it doesn’t hurt it. So with my last ditch effort, I throw my turtle at it. The turtle hits the Grimus and the turtle dies.

I turn to Blair. I take her in my arms and kiss her. I tell her.

“I guess this is the end.”

I keep kissing her till I hear someone shouting. I look up.

It’s Boba Fett. He shouts.

“EAT MY TEE SHIRT CANNON YOU RETARDED FREAK OF NATURE!”

He shoots a “Come on, Sleep with Boba” tee shirt. The shirt hits the Grimus in the eye and it crashes into the ceiling.

It cries out in pain and makes it’s way back outside. Boba falls to the fall. I walk up to him. He speaks.

“Don’t take me to a black doctor.”