Open Doors

Open Doors

A Poem by dreaming dame
"

I don't know, you tell me:)

"

 Blood will pour

to the lonely shore

in waves of pain.

 

 In empty silence

there's nothing to gain

but chained hands.

 

 Only I see

that I can be fee,

I can soar

amoung birds and angels.

 

 This pain will gain.

It will; give me.

   open doors

© 2012 dreaming dame


Author's Note

dreaming dame
I'm not sure what to say, I tried writing, after a long time of writer's block, but thi seems to sound like all my depressing poems.. But give me your opinion, criticism is welcome:)

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Me
Provocative verses with a subtle yet powerful punch!

Posted 5 Years Ago


I think you meant free instead of fee. I think the idea is good, but blood, pain, chains, flying birds, and angels are used a lot. Try to switch them out with something that means the same symbolically. I do like the open doors at the end though.

Posted 6 Years Ago


Not a depressing vibe at all... no, lyrical and quite creeeepy, yes. Love the concept of open doors equalling freedom. Very emotional and strong write, well penned piece indeed :)

Posted 7 Years Ago


Different from your other writings, somehow hidden... Don't really know how to explain but there seems to be a hidden meaning or message, if you know what I mean? Like you had something on your mind but didn't quite know how to express those thoughts maybe... It's cool though:)

Posted 7 Years Ago


Its not like all your other poems dolling, it feels like a different style altogether. I like it, i really do! :)

Posted 7 Years Ago


very nice (:

Posted 7 Years Ago


I dont think it sound depressing at all, actually. But there is a few minor spelling errors that should be fixed. Otherwise, this sounds more positive than negative. Nicely done.

Posted 7 Years Ago


A powerful poem of emotion and struggle. I like the description.
"In empty silence
there's nothing to gain
but chained hands."
I like the way you ended the excellent poem.
Coyote

Posted 7 Years Ago



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9 Reviews
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Added on September 18, 2012
Last Updated on September 19, 2012
Tags: Open, doors, pain, freedom, Angels, birds

Author

dreaming dame
dreaming dame

Southern Ontario, Canada



About
I'm 18 now, finally the age I dreamed of being as a kid lol. Life has shown that lessons can be taught in a very difficult way.. but I believe in finding the little things of beauty in everyday life.. more..

Writing

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