Baby Lamb

Baby lamb born of a tigress,

With sapling eyes and curling wool,

Impressionable, soft, mild�"

A quiet gift, a silent child.

 

Baby lamb born of a rooster,

With verdant eyes and sturdy horns,

Challenging, bold, firm�"

A clamant gift, a wordy bairn.

 

Baby lamb raised of a dog,

With mossy eyes and bleating mouth,

Defiant, rough, uncouth�"

A sullen gift, a naïve youth.

 

Baby lamb all alone,

With jade eyes and warming heart,

Impressionable, bold, strife�"

A forgiving gift, an uncertain life.

Reviews

[emipoemi]

I thoroughly enjoyed this! It has a solemn vitality to it that really flows throughout the entire poem with absolutely superb musicality topped with sublime imagery. The only things I will critique is first (the pettiest of the two): born- born- born. or born- [something]- raised, make for better progressions than born-born- raised, for after having "born" twice, it only makes sense to put it again (and frankly, the stanza pretty much reads the same if it were "born" and not "raised"). Second (and less petty....but still petty in its own right), there's no proper antecedent for "strife" since by the progression of words, we hope for an adjective, but find a noun instead. Were the progression three nouns, it might work, or simply change the rhyme for a synonym of "life" or "future". Your choice....only saying that the noun sounds awkward after two adjectives. This is otherwise fantastic! Well done!

[Gee]

Sweet,like your style..............

[Relic]

I like the metaphors used. We are all born with a predisposition towards a certain personality type or are born under certain circumstances we must deal with in life. This is nice writing.

[Eric Cox]

Cool. Love the imagery penned. Nicely done!

[pumpkin head]

Really like the last stanza, this has depth and strong feelings. enjoyed

[Ian H Morrison]

excellent i love your sentence stucture each meter is perfect leading to a strong stanza well done good poem

[rabbit]

thank you!

[Ian H Morrison]

you are welcome

[zainul]

Lovely imagination
Enjoyable.

[Ufi Auttorri ~ UfoAutho..]

I like it... weird but I like it. Sort of like a Chinese calendar meeting a daily horoscope. Makes me hungry for take-out.