Valentine

true story about lost friendship and love

 

                                    Valentine

  When the wild winds of Feburary

  whip the waves in the estuary

  and the doleful doldrums

  drip from my brain

  like icicles,

  from a gutter

  I shutter

  and think of you

  I think about Valentines

  and how I drew a heart on my arm

  with an arrow

  and it said T.D.

  I thought it would make you smile

  I thought it would make you laugh

  you were having a bad day

  I thought it would make you say

  ohhhhhhhhhhhhh

  I had hopes your eyes would fill

  and brim with tears

  and one would slide down your cheek

  and I would touch it

  I had hopes that a faraway anger

  born

  before I knew

  I loved you

  had died

Reviews

[deeps]

the doleful doldrums
drip from my brain
like icicles,
from a gutter
I shutter
and think of you
I think about Valentines
and how I drew a heart on my arm
with an arrow

I so loved these words here, this is a heart breaking write really.
Very well expressed and written.

[Sheila Kline]

The result of expectations gone "bad" is clearly expressed as you slip from phrase to phrase like a tear sliding down the cheek.....nice write!

[Analgesia]

Well written well organized: well said. This flows very well and changes pace where it needs to. I really don't have a whole lot of criticism for this, it's very personal yet, for me, is easy to connect to, that's good poetry, simple as that. Thanks for writing something worth reading, I hope I was of some help to you.

[An owl on the moon]

There is a feeling of such anticipation.. excitement.. and this moves to a darkness of bittersweet beauty. Wonderfully written.

[Colleen]

Heartbreaking...the words build you up and then dash you at the end...so much emotion in a few words...great work!