No Escaping It

No Escaping It

A Story by Billy
"

Loneliness strikes again

"

It's everywhere I am, yet never with me.

Sometimes real, sometimes not, but always there.

It's almost aggravating, to see how others flaunt it.

Whether intentional or not, that doesn't affect the pain.

 

love

 

all I've ever truly wanted, yet the one thing that always seem to evade me

 

 

i am alone

 

 

 

and my mind is conflicted

based on the statements of my friends, someday i will find it

and i hope that is true

 

but my own thoughts tell another tale

i have two dreams

one good, the other a nightmare

in the good dream

i am a little older

i have a steady job, some schooling

and someone else

"she" is there

"she" is no one specific

instead, "she" is a manifestation of a lover

the so called "one' for me

 

and to me, that is a nice dream

the idea of being in love

real

true love

the best thing in the world to me

 

in my nightmare

i am somewhere around fifty

but i know the 30 years in the middle

they are not happy

the future me is in a bar

head hung low

beer in hand

talking at a bartender who stopped caring long ago

i go to the same bar everyday for years

drowning my sorrows

until one day i dont show up

the bartender notices, but doesnt care

no one else even knows my name

i dont even know it

and i am home

in bed

dead

 

not a happt thought at all

but honestly i feel like its me twenty years from now

 

 

right now, i look at the world in disgust

why do liars and cheaters get ahead?

is it because they only look out for themselves and i never do?

if i made up stories and talked only of myself

would i get more attention?

i guess i might, but would i want it?

no

thats not me

i care about others

its my nature to be polite

 

and that seems to be bad

no one likes a good guy

everyone likes the bad guys

 

 

 

i guess in the end

even if it hurts

id rather be myself and alone

instead of a jerk and with someone, unable to appreciate them

© 2008 Billy


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I liked the "sum it all up" in the end. I'm glad to read that you know it's better to be who you are and deal with the consquences then cheat to make it through and be unhappy with who you've become.

Nothings worth pretending.

Posted 11 Years Ago



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Added on May 19, 2008

Author

Billy
Billy

Astoria, OR



About
I would hardly consider myself a poet, a novelist, even a writer. What you read on here, is all me. My real thoughts, my real feelings. Do keep in mind however, feelings and thoughts may change. more..

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A Poem by Billy