(not so) free flowing

(not so) free flowing

A Poem by Billy
"

I got a sudden feeling to write, but nothing was there

"

i listen to the pulsing rythm of the music

blaring from my speakers

the heavy bass

vibrating my feet

 

a song ive never heard before

yet im able to sing along

the music comes as second nature

the beats analyzed instantly

i nod along

continuing this work

 

i had a purpose for this

but it got lost

so no i have this

more random flowing

some things of importance lurk

towards the surface

but are squelched

before they even make a sound

 

 

nervously

i hesitate

do i let it out

or keep it in

"let it out" i say

then

blank

again

 

i begin to sing along yet again

still new

but oddly familiar

like being stuck in a rut

yet also enjoying it

 

it seems tonight

nothing will escape

my fears

my loves

my joys

shall all be kept in

for another evening

maybe tomorrow

something will emerge

from this pit of emptiness

until then

farewell

 

© 2008 Billy


Author's Note

Billy
as usual, no real punctuation or capitalization

My Review

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Featured Review

Good write - well written with a good sense of pace.
As with everything of yours I have had the pleasure of reading this poem is heartfelt, engaging and personal. I thought you used metaphor well here (I hope thats what you were going for). I think the ending is strong - all be it not being a time of strength for the narrator.
Your use of varying line length worked really very well - especially in the fourth stanza - you really create a sense of nervousness and hesitation for the reader - very very well written - this shows talent.
The imagery and the use of the sense got me hooked from the opening - I think the reader will become wrapped up in the poem because of your opening.
Congrats on this poem.

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

Good write - well written with a good sense of pace.
As with everything of yours I have had the pleasure of reading this poem is heartfelt, engaging and personal. I thought you used metaphor well here (I hope thats what you were going for). I think the ending is strong - all be it not being a time of strength for the narrator.
Your use of varying line length worked really very well - especially in the fourth stanza - you really create a sense of nervousness and hesitation for the reader - very very well written - this shows talent.
The imagery and the use of the sense got me hooked from the opening - I think the reader will become wrapped up in the poem because of your opening.
Congrats on this poem.

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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Added on June 23, 2008

Author

Billy
Billy

Astoria, OR



About
I would hardly consider myself a poet, a novelist, even a writer. What you read on here, is all me. My real thoughts, my real feelings. Do keep in mind however, feelings and thoughts may change. more..

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A Poem by Billy