September 8, 2008

September 8, 2008

A Story by Billy

I dont even know what this is



Just for the record, I've drank about...


a lot

of vodka at this point

and here's my current situation:


Listening to Evanescence

Slightly (or more) drunk




Third night in a row

it's come to this


just so I dont feel anything anymore

I know

It's not good

but Im doing it anyways

I enjoy it

I was getting sick of feelings anyways




I see someone

not neccessarily the same person

but someone

someone who



whether it be

astounding beauty

unparalleled kindness

an angelic voice

or a combination of many other things

and not one day

goes by

where i dont wish

i could find her

the one for me

she must be there somewhere

i know it

i'm hopeless


not without hope

a paradox

i know

but still

i know

she is out there

its not a matter of if

but of when

and my only fear is

what if "when"

is too far away for me

what if i give up before "when" occurs

then what was my life for>?


Ive had a feeling

for quite some time

that my life is not for me

my goal

is to make someone else feel they are the most important person in the world

i care not about my feelings

but of those of others

my dream

is to find her

that one

and make her know

shes my everything

but again

i fear i may not have enough time


i put on a smile

and struggle to make it through another day

while i secretly die a little more

on the inside


so lately

instead of just being depressed

ive turned to drinking

i wont lie

it makes me happy

even if only temporarily

happy none the less



im pathetic


these stories

they are nothing

but a mans demise

one day

they will stop

for good

and be but a chronicle of my life

a sad depressing memoir



as my vision blurs

all i can do is cry



goodnight writerscafe

thank you all for the helpful comments


goodnight myspace

thank my friends


goodnight world

thank you for the opportunity

© 2008 Billy

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You should write me sometime

Posted 10 Years Ago

1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

you know what
i guess
i do care about a feeling of my own
i just want to be loved

Posted 11 Years Ago

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2 Reviews
Added on September 8, 2008



Astoria, OR

I would hardly consider myself a poet, a novelist, even a writer. What you read on here, is all me. My real thoughts, my real feelings. Do keep in mind however, feelings and thoughts may change. more..

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A Poem by Billy