The Dog Ate My Homework

Ms. Arable spoke, "Dev Borne, Where is your homework, young man ?" To which he replied, "My dog ate it. He loves homework. It makes a good digestion aid for the cheap hard dog food my Mummy buys."

The Dog Ate My Homework      Want to read this in a different language ? Change the TO field to your own country and click the TRANSLATE button after going HERE * * * This listing is Rated: EVERYONE THE DOG ATE MY HOMEWORK Ms. Arable addressed her 3rd grade pupils. "Okay class, now as per last night, you should've read chapters 18-19 in your History workbook and answered the questions there." She stepped from around her desk and went up and down the tables sequentially to collect the classes homework. "Suzy Quince. Good." "Jeremy Rathers. Fine." "Tyr Cryshta." Tyr suddenly beamed a totally disarming smile up at her. Ms. Arable's left eye twitched uncomfortably at the sudden friendliness in her, not at all like her. "Umm.. Nevermind, Tyr." she said, hurrying her steps to get past her. She continued to travel down the rows. "Dev Borne." and she paused for a moment to look at his blank desk. "Where is your homework, young man ?" Dev swallowed hard and drummed his fingers on the desk for a moment before smiling and replying. "My dog ate it, Ms. Arable. He loves History homework. It makes a good digestion aid for the cheap hard dog food my Mummy buys for him." Ms. Arable tilted her head quizzically to him not believing his story for a minute, "Dev, you don't HAVE a dog. Try again." And then the rest of the class got quiet and peered over to hear what Dev would say to justify WHY he had, once again not done his homework. What would you say ? Welcome to what could be the most complete listing of valid reasons why you, once again, had not completed your homework for your dear and loving teacher. While you might be able to use the first excuse one time, it won't hold up again so you are welcome to refer to this comprehensive glossary of perfectly valid reasons why you didn't bring in your homework for her to grade and return back to you. 01. "I thought it was due tomorrow !" 02. "The cicadas outside the window made it impossible to concentrate !" 03. "The wind caught it and it flew out the window down the gutter." 04. "It's in my locker and I left the key to my locker at home !" 05. "It fell off the bathroom counter where I left it for a moment into the cat's litterbox and the cat came along to use the litter." 06. "The nice man with the sign says the end is HERE. No one does homework on the eve of the apocalypse, right ?" 07. "I avoided potential drive-by shooting by staying below window level all night. The lighting was insufficient to do my homework." 08. "Aliens came down from a flying saucer and demanded it as proof of intelligent life on Earth." 09. "The police finally got wise to that oregano excuse I gave them a year ago and they paid me a visit last night." 10. "I Had to go with my Daddy to bail my Mummy out of jail, again !" 11. "I fell asleep. I was sooo exhausted from working on OTHER homework all night long." 12. "I did all my homework in my head, I didn’t know I was supposed to write it down ? Then I forgot. Next time should I show my work ?" 13. "I had to take pictures of the leaves changing colors last night." 14. "My little sister made a paper airplane out of it and she accidentally flung it on the roof." 15. "I had it neatly folded in my pocket before I got home but my Mummy washed my clothes and it got all torn up." 16. "I was too heartbroken by my team's loss to study." 17. "Did you know CNN is on 24 hours a day ? I got caught up watching it on what was REALLY important in the world." 18. "I'm so sorry. I was out smoking marijuana with my friends." 19. "Sorry, I was doing LSD and writing down the effects for a psychology report outside schoolwork curriculum." 20. "I was SO inspired by what I was reading in the book that I just had to go outside and celebrate nature !" 21. "I just couldn’t concentrate on it. Besides, I’m on prescription medications for anxiety." 22. "I’m Muslim, it’s Ramadan, and I was too hungry to do my homework." 23. "I got mugged on the way to school by bullies and they took my lunch bag along with my homework." 24. "My baby brother threw up on my home work." 25. "My mom put my homework in the washer." 26. "I'm sorry, but I can't turn in my homework because my cat threw up on it. Wanna see cause I saved it ?" 27. "I spilled lemonade on my homework and its drying on the radiator at home." 28. "I swear I did my homework, but I was abducted by aliens, and they kept it for their Earth research." 29. "I was so busy last night, I forgot my homework." 30. "I made my homework into a paper plane, and it was taken from me by some bigger bullies of a different school." 31. "On the way to school, I was feeding the ducks, and my homework fell in the water. A duck ate it." 32. "I didn't do my homework cause I didn't want the other kids in the class to look bad." 33. "A sudden gust of wind blew my homework out of my hand and I never saw it again." 34. "My mom used it as a dryer sheet and it tore up in the dryer after use." 35. "It's against my religion to do any homework. Talk to my preacher if you have a problem with that." 36. "I felt it wasn't challenging enough. Don't you have anything difficult ?" 37. "My parents were sick and unable to do my homework last night from me starving them. Don't worry, they have been suitably punished and promise to have it done tonite." 38. "We had homework ?!" 39. "I didn't want to add to your already heavy workload. A teacher needs her Zzzs." 40. "I spent the night at a rally supporting higher pay for our hard-working teachers. Yea teachers !" 41. "My Mom was so eager to try out a new shredder she bought that she accidentally shredded it with it. The shredder works." 42. "My house was being fumigated when I got back home yesterday and I didn't want to go in there and suffocate just to get it !" 43. "A bunch of perfectionist nerds from a different school stole it to make sure theirs was completely perfect. I didn't know my schoolwork was that good !" 44. "I left it with someone to copy it but they never gave it back." 45. "I forgot and left it in my locker last night after the school closed and locked up !" 46. "My cat peed on it thinking it was a newspaper that we put down just for her." 47. "I thought I'd get a better grade not doing it and studying rather than doing it and not having any time to study later." 48. "I hadn't finished copying my friend's answers on it to it yet. Between the two of us we can get one homework page done between us." 49. "I was reading it on the way to school, checking for errors, and the wind blew it away from me. Honest !" 50. "You do NOT wanna know what happened to it !" Dev thinks quickly and points to the window, "Look ! Isn't that Jaime Escalante taking autographs out there !?" Ms. Arable looked away suddenly with keen interest and Dev reached into his desk to consult his list of 50 excuses. He sneaks the page back in the desk before the teacher returned, unable to see him, and waited for him to quip his excuse for today. "Well Dev, I'm waiting !" she said angrily starting to tap her foot impatiently. "Well - ahhm - I just couldn’t find my motivation. Besides, I’m on prescription medications for anxiety. Dincha know that, Ms. Arable ?" Her face softened for a moment, "Well yes, Dev, now that you mention it, I think you are on medications, but what could you possibly be so anxious about every day that would require them ?" Dev's face took on a very serious look and as if he were looking at an apparition. Then he slowly turned his head to look back at Tyr who only beamed him a friendly and innocent smile. Turning  back in his seat he faced the teacher, "You don't wanna know, ma'am !" "Hmm.." she said, apparently satisfied with his answer and went on to the next desk. Dev looked ahead of him to Tyr in the next desk who was grinning back at him and clasping her hands in the air shaking them as a sign of his victory although clearly it was her shenanigans and consistent mean teasing to him that kept him so anxious and upset all the time. Dev slumped back in his chair and felt the air puff out of him. He had gotten away with another day of not doing homework, but how long could he keep it up ... ? Return back HOME   You are Earth Visitor #

Author's Note

Which of these can you relate to ?

Reviews

[Wall of Words]

*gasps in horror* You don't ACTUALLY think I EVER had to make an excuse for NOT TURNING IN MY HOMEWORK?!
I actually mean that. I have never in my whole life failed to turn in my homework unexpectedly. Obviously, there were a few times I was unable to go to school because of some family thing but I always turned in all my homework when the teacher and I arranged. Teacher's Pet that's me...I think it's also called brown-nosing. :P

[dw817]

No excuse for turning in homework for me usually sent me to the Principal's Office. No fun there ... Since then I have always managed to come up with one excuse or another.

I remember one teacher smirked at me and said perhaps I would be better in a different class than hers. I asked who ? She said, Creative Writing. :)

[Pryde Foltz]

I like the one about the end is here. Funny story. I could see it working as a children's cartoon.

[dw817]

Actually Dev and Tyr are the two main characters from my novel. And - perhaps a cartoon wouldn't be a good idea unless it had a positive moral to it or something important for kids to learn. :)

[Sheila Kline]

Wow, I am really impressed with the amount of work you have put into your story - both content and presentation!! There are not many pages I have visited that are so "user friendly" and I commend you for taking the time to devote as much attention as you have to this piece of wonderful ART!

Your story is well crafted, and have I ever used any of the reasons.............no, as I always did all of my homework...bummers I know. But, I did.
Now, I can see my boys using several of these - just love # 38 and 42, and # 50....and so many, many more! You are very, very creative!! And this is absolutely a FAVORITE!!!!

[dw817]

Well now flattery will you get you anywhere - especially with me, Sheila. :)

The selections listed above are from several students, not just me, although I did contribute to a few of them.

Let's see, #38 I tinted blue cause that's the one I used most of the time.
#42 is a reach, especially if the teacher calls home to confirm this.
#50 is one I added. Sometimes things are just beyond explanation.

Glad you liked 'em, and hey, I really like that last piece you did where you took your poem and turned it into an image ! I hope this encourages other writers to consider the possibility of embellishing and improving the appearance of their work thissaways.

[Sheila Kline]

Adding the extras only makes it more of a challenge, and more rewarding as it is always a treat to see the end product!! And, as you say....it helps to protect our work!! I don't think very many writers post them as jpeg images and they are really quite easy to do once one gets the "gist" of it. I have hundreds of them. I have found that some writers can't pull them in so I also post the poem in the author's note. To me, this all adds up to a completed piece of art!!

[dw817]

I have this program that can convert raw HTML to an image. I haven't really found the need for it recently, and in WC it would be a problem as all images are scaled to at or less than 500 pixels across and down.

Anytime I use a larger image I create a reference link from Wordpress. Hopefully they don't mind me doing this as I know I'm not very active in there otherwise. :)

But yes, when I was in DeviantART, I would post a single decompressed .PNG image, 900 pixels across and 140,000 - 160,000 pixels down to make a nice legible chapter for my books.

It might be a little easier to do poetry - something short in a graphic editor, but to have that sort of scale for text like a book chapter, a raw HTML converter is essential.

[tmike]

Lol I told somebody that after they let me "use" their assignment when I gave it back to them and it was all torn up.

[dw817]

Oh, which one ?

[tmike]

The dog eating my homework

[dw817]

I guess they wanted to make it look authentic. :)

[roses101]

I have used or have thought 12 of these. Most often my excuse is I didn't know or was just too lazy, neither of which get me off the hook for not doing my homework.

[dw817]

I don't think I was ever lazy. A good portion of my life I failed classes cause I was too fascinated by calculators, numbers, and graphs. Even when I was 5-years old I discovered AND, NOR, and OR gates using inverted sliding pegs. Computers were in my blood. :)

[Mark]

actually, I always did my homework LOL

[dw817]

Hah- well I guess you would never need these excuses. I can't count the number of days I hadn't actually done my homework and had an excuse for the teacher.

Sometimes I actually was accosted by bullies on the way to school and they'd steal my homework (amongst other things) and I'd show the teacher the scuff marks and that was excuse enough, I was then sent to see the school nurse for band-aids.

[Mark]

I went to very small schools in rural areas so never had to deal with bullies. The worst I dealt with was guys smaller than me who had chips on their shoulders and wanted to prove something by beating up on someone bigger than them. But I usually talked them out of it or sat on them. :P

[dw817]

Sat on them ? Umm ... Ok ?? I guess that WOULD take the fight right out of them. :D

I did sorta the opposite. I'd get into a fight I would crouch down and cover my head while those standing around would boo. That was my universal signal I have no argument or fight with you.

Curiously enough it made them feel pretty good about themselves so often I wouldn't get hurt for doing it and they'd walk away the 'victor.' Tho some saw it as an indicator for other rude abuse.

[Kemenza Harris]

Actually I've never blamed my dog but I have used quite a few of those excuses. I'm sure allot can relate to this and I like the humor in your work.

[dw817]

Thank you ! I always to mix a little mirth with my worth when I can. :) I likely spend too much time in Facebook and always add an amusing anecdote or comment to an unusual photo in there.