Wit & Wisdom - November 11th 2013

Wit & Wisdom - November 11th 2013

A Chapter by dw817
"

Birdy Birdy in the sky, what you did to me I don't know why, but now I'm happy cows don't fly !

"

  W&W November 11th 2013  

 

Want to read this in a different language ?
Change the TO field to your own country after going
HERE

[ CHOOSE A DIFFERENT SET ]

01. Birdy Birdy in the sky, what you did to me I don't know why, but now I'm happy cows don't fly !


02. Don't drink the water, that's what the fish do their business in !


03. Idiot. (id-ee-it) n. - Anyone who disagrees with you.


04. Roses are red, violets are blue, most poems rhyme but this one doesn't.


05. This is your birthday song ! It isn't very long. (awkward silence)


06. Instead of feeling inferior because someone else can do something you can't, concentrate on what you CAN do that others cannot.


07. A good heart can win many relationships, but a good nature can win many hearts.


08. An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but if he is cute then the heck with the fruit !


09. It is attitude rather than your aptitude which determines your altitude.


10. The higher we are in status, the more humble we should walk.


11. Thankfulness should be expressed, but you should never ask for it yourself.


12. Failure only establishes that our determination to succeed was not strong enough.


13. It is better to forget and smile rather than remember and be sad.


14. Be clean in all matters and you will never be ashamed of your life.


15. Miracles do actually occur, but you have to work hard for them to happen.


16. Don't waste your time with jealousy. The race of life is long and in the end you will find it is only yourself have been competing against.


17. Never fear shadows. They simply mean there is light nearby.


18. A hero is no braver than a ordinary man, but he is courageous five minutes longer.


19. Be there when people need you.


20. Shoot for the moon ... cause even if you miss you will still end up amongst the stars.


21. Pain is inevitable. It is the suffering that has always been optional.


22. Never get angry. Never make a threat. Reason with people.


23. Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.


24. If you are patient in one moment of anger, you will escape a hundred days of sorrow.


25.
Most people enjoy the inferiority of their best friends.


26. An angry husband returned home one night to find his wife in bed with another man. "What are you doing !?" he shouted. To which his wife replied to the other man, ‘You see, I told you he wasn't very bright."


27. To find a truly great friend, you have to keep one eye closed - to keep him, two.


28. Side by side or miles apart, dear friends are always close to the heart.


29. The medicine of life is to have several true and faithful friends.


30. A true friend is one who overlooks your failures and tolerates your successes.


31. There is no distance too far between best friends, for friendship gives wings to the heart.


32. There is no friendship nor love like that of the parent for their own child.


33. I hate you. You hate me. What are we waiting for ? Let's make love !


34. It's hard to argue with the government. Remember, they run the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms, so they must know a thing or two about satisfying women.


35. If computers get too powerful, we can organize them into committees. That oughta do them in.


36. Hardware: What your software team blames for problems. Software: What your hardware team blames for problems.


37. I am your computer's Blue Screen Of Death. No-one can hear you scream.


38. Software is like entropy. Difficult to grasp, weighs nothing, and obeys the 2nd law of thermodynamics. Always increases in size over time.


39. Flowers need sunshine, violets need dew, all the angels in Heaven know I need you !


40. Hard times are like a washing machine. We get thrashed all around but come out brighter and better than ever before.


41. To the world you may be one person, but to that one person, you may be the world.


42. It seems in life every girl looks for one guy to meet all her needs whereas guys look at all girls to meet his one need.


43. Don't ever cry because it's over, smile because it actually happened.


44. It's better to let people believe you are an idiot by being silent rather than open your mouth and prove it to them.


45. The happiest people don't have the best of everything. They just make the most of anything that comes their way.


46. Remember, stressed is just 'desserts' spelled backwards.


47. World is cruel. Love is blind. Lost in sadness. Blur in mind. Heart is broken. Flame is dying. Time has passed forever crying.


48. God created Man first cause he was a rough draft for the perfect model, Woman !


49. I think animal testing is a terrible idea; they get all nervous, rarely bring a pencil, and always give the wrong answers.


50. Last night I lay in bed looking at the beautiful stars and moon and then I thought, "Well now wait just a minuette ! Where the heck is my roof !?"





Which of these can you relate to ?


See you next week with 50 more ...

Return back HOME


  You are Earth Visitor #  




© 2013 dw817


My Review

Would you like to review this Chapter?
Login | Register




Reviews

Last night I lay in bed looking at the beautiful stars and moon and then I thought, "Well now wait just a minuette ! Where the heck is my roof !?"

I loved the wry humour of this last one and oh the husband catching the wife with the other man.

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Pryde Foltz

6 Years Ago

I did not know that. Good to have your back.
dw817

6 Years Ago

I'm glad to have my back too. :) My Front for that matter. I'm now looking at 7-different sets of me.. read more
Pryde Foltz

6 Years Ago

Wow … indeed. Not fun.
13.
unfortunately that's my secrete....haha^^

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

dw817

6 Years Ago

Number 13 is not so complex to understand. Things happen in our lives, perhaps only once. So instead.. read more
Really cool. I like reading these

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

dw817

6 Years Ago

Which one of these do you think you can relate to, Amanda ?
MandaBear

6 Years Ago

Most of them. I just find them fun to read
dw817

6 Years Ago

Alrighty then. :)

Request Read Request
Add to Library My Library
Subscribe Subscribe



Wit & Wisdom


Author

dw817
dw817

Fort Worth, TX



About
more..

Writing