Wit & Wisdom - June 23rd 2014

Wit & Wisdom - June 23rd 2014

A Chapter by dw817
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How to care for introverts. (More)

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  W&W June 23rd 2014   

  

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01. HOW TO CARE FOR INTROVERTS:


[01] Respect their need for privacy.

[02] Never embarrass them in public.

[03] Let them observe first in new situations.

[04] Give them time to think. Don't demand answers.

[05] Don't interrupt them

[06] Give them advance notice of expected changes in their lives.

[07] Give them 15-minute warnings to finish whatever they are doing.

[08] Reprimand them privately.

[09] Teach them new skills privately.

[10] Enable them to find one best friend who has similar interests & abilities.

[11] Don't push them to make lots of friends.

[12] Respect their introversion. Don't try to remake them into extroverts.


02. The road to success is always under construction.


03. The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.


04. Men should be like Kleenex, soft, strong and disposable.


05. Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the world together.


06. Remember: Don't Insult the Alligator till after you cross the river.


07. Why is it called 'after dark' when it really is 'after light' ?


08. What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer ? An offer you can't understand.


09. What do Eskimos get from sitting on the ice too long? Polaroids.


10. Men are like bank accounts. Without a lot of money they don't generate a lot of interest.


11. Gravitation can not be held responsible for people falling in love.


12. I never made a mistake in my life. I thought I did once, but I was wrong.


13. The problem with drinking and driving is that trees defend themselves very well.


14. Me and my wife lived happily for twenty years ... until we finally met each other.


15. It might take a year, it might take a day, but what's meant to be will always find its way.


16. Without my pets, my wallet would be full, my house clean, but my heart would be empty.


17. The saddest thing about betrayal is that it never comes from your enemies.

18. I thank God for protecting me from what I thought I wanted and instead blessed me with what I didn't know I needed.


19. If you were in my novel, I would have you killed off by now.


20. Don't rush things. Anything worth having is worth waiting for.


21. At my funeral I'd like there to be a piñata so that people can be happy. But filled with bees so they're not too happy.


22. The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not.


23. If men got periods, they would check into a hospital for a week on a morphine drip every month.


24. Don't try to be perfect. Just try to be better than you were yesterday.


25. When you turn off the lights downstairs, run upstairs so you aren't killed by a ninja.




26. You don't like Disney ? Get out. Just get out.


27. Do you ever just stare into space and be like, oh my god, I have no idea what my actual personality is like.


28. Common sense is like deodorant. The people who need it most never use it.


29. I really hate being second to those I put first.


30. What I love most about my home is whom I share it with.


31. Today I shall be witty, charming, and elegant. Or maybe I'll just say, "Um" a lot and trip over things.


32. I hate being late but I'm so good at it.


33. Friends. It doesn't matter who likes us, WE like us.


34. I'm ready for some blessings that aren't in disguise.


35. I discovered I scream the same way whether I'm about to be devoured by a great white shark or if a piece of seaweed touches my foot.


36. Instead of saying LOL, I'm gonna say SALTS (smiled a little, then stopped). It's more truthful.


37. The trick is finding someone who complements you instead of completes you. You need to be complete on your own.


38. When I was young I wanted to date a Doctor for money. How superficial is that ? Now I would date him for the prescriptions.


39. I love how coffee tricks me into thinking I'm in a good mood for about 27-minutes.


40. If you put root beer in a square cup, do you get beer ?


41. When it's real, you'll know, you won't be confused about it.


42. Look, I'm trying to rant here. Stop interrupting me with facts and reasons.


43. Can't dance ? Spell your name in the air with your butt. Boom ! Next problem.


44. There's a band called 1023mb. They haven't had any gigs yet.


45. You cannot hang out with negative people and expect a positive life.

46. If your wife wants to learn to drive, don't stand in her way.


47. You're braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.


48. I can spy the most expensive item on any rack without looking at the tag. I like to believe that is my spiritual gift.


49. God has plans for you or the devil wouldn't be fighting you this hard.


50. Did you know a barcode scanner reads the WHITE bars, not the black ?




Which of these can you relate to ?

See you next time with 50 more ...

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© 2014 dw817


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At my funeral, I want the song playing to be staying alive and to have my ashes shot into the sun. And morphine sucks when you wake up from it, I know that it is supposed to keep you out of pain, but when it lasts for more than a half hour, you feel all disy, feel like you are about to fall over and a lot of other things that are basically going through a LSD trip on acid. And I count 43 as twerking, and I haunt the dreams of people who twerk, Oh, and take repeated selfies, It is a very lucrative business, giving everyone hell. As to 48, it's always the first object that breaks. And this feels like it is getting long, so I congratulate you for getting this far in my comment.

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

dw817

5 Years Ago

Woops ! I rebooted my computer, I see it duplicated the text, scratch that. In any case, I might sug.. read more
Lily

5 Years Ago

Sorry, I can't turn off the autocorrect on the tablet, it also takes what you type, even if its a wo.. read more
dw817

5 Years Ago

I see. And yes, the teacher would want you to type with the keyboard level. I know when I was learni.. read more



Reviews

At my funeral, I want the song playing to be staying alive and to have my ashes shot into the sun. And morphine sucks when you wake up from it, I know that it is supposed to keep you out of pain, but when it lasts for more than a half hour, you feel all disy, feel like you are about to fall over and a lot of other things that are basically going through a LSD trip on acid. And I count 43 as twerking, and I haunt the dreams of people who twerk, Oh, and take repeated selfies, It is a very lucrative business, giving everyone hell. As to 48, it's always the first object that breaks. And this feels like it is getting long, so I congratulate you for getting this far in my comment.

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

dw817

5 Years Ago

Woops ! I rebooted my computer, I see it duplicated the text, scratch that. In any case, I might sug.. read more
Lily

5 Years Ago

Sorry, I can't turn off the autocorrect on the tablet, it also takes what you type, even if its a wo.. read more
dw817

5 Years Ago

I see. And yes, the teacher would want you to type with the keyboard level. I know when I was learni.. read more

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Wit & Wisdom


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dw817
dw817

Fort Worth, TX



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