Wit & Wisdom - September 22nd 2014

Wit & Wisdom - September 22nd 2014

A Chapter by dw817
"

If you ever watched Beauty & The Beast during your childhood, then you will probably remember how much you hated Gaston. But what if I told you that it actually goes deeper than that.

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  W&W Sep. 22nd 2014  

  

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01. If you ever watched Beauty & The Beast during your childhood, then you will probably remember how much you hated Gaston.

But what if I told you that it actually goes deeper than that.

Think about it, the truly scary thing about Beauty & The Beast isn't the fact that Gaston exists, but that society absolutely loves him. People who deride the movie by saying it's about Stockholm Syndrome are ignoring the fact that it's actually about the various way that truly decent people get excluded by society.

People don't trust the Beast because of the way he looks, which only feeds his anger issues and pushes him further away.

Gaston isn't the only one who criticizes Belle for being bookish either, the whole town says there must be something wrong with her. And her Father gets carted off to a mental asylum for being just a little eccentric.

Think about it ...


02. There should be a holiday dedicated to all the brave people who show up to work on Mondays.


03. Destiny is for losers. It's just a lame excuse for letting things happen to you instead of making them happen.


04. Waiting until your parents are in a good mood before asking them for something you want.


05. Think of the most attractive person you know. Even that person at some point has had raging diarrhea.


06. The moment you feel like you have to prove your worth to someone is the moment to absolutely and utterly walk away.


07. I am almost never sure about what I want, but I am always sure about what I don't want.


08. Tonight I'm playing hard to get off the sofa.


09. Stay curious.


10. I'm sorry that I got angry and said a lot of things that I meant to but still should not have.


11. Captain Hook. The only man I'd marry with eyeliner.


12. Dr. Phil says, "You're fat. And don't sugarcoat it, cause you'll eat that too."


13. A wedding ring vow ... With that ring I gave you my heart. I promised from that day forward, you would never walk alone; my heart would be your shelter, and my arms would be your home.


14. It must be humbling to suck on so many levels.


15. And at a local bar a sign reads, "Beer is now cheaper than gas. Drink, don't drive."


16. I can name more fictional characters than I have real friends.


17. They say nothing lasts forever; dreams change, trends come and go, but friendships never go out of style.


18. My Mom should have swallowed me.


19. I see now that the circumstances of one's birth are irrelevant. It is what you do with the gift of life that determines who you are.


20. Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today - that is a gift. That's why we call it the present.


21. The glorious moment when you're cutting wrapping paper and the scissors start to glide.


22. Thug life ? Drop the "T" and get over here.


23. Hugging someone that you really miss can literally improve a person's mood and relieve stress.


24. The human mind spends about 70% of it's time creating "perfect" scenarios; replaying moments and memories from the past.


25. You know things are getting serious when she ties up her hair.




26.
All you need is Faith, Trust, and Pixie Dust.

27. My love life will never be satisfactory until someone runs through an airport to stop me from getting on a flight.


28. The greatest inspiration to any work project is it's deadline.


29. Nieces and nephews give you the chance to be the parent you would be if you didn't have to worry about being a parent.


30. Ohana means Family. It means nobody gets left behind or forgotten. Lilo & Stitch.


31. Life is short. Smile while you still have the teeth for it.

32. Between 1939 and 1989 in Spain, about 300,000 newborn babies have been stolen in hospitals by a child trafficking network of doctors, nurses, priests, and nuns. They just told the natural parents that their child had died.


33. Now go away or I shall taunt you for a second time, English pig dog. Your Mother was a hamster and your Father smelt of elderberries ... !


34. In 1973, a drunk driver struck and killed the world's most isolated palm tree in the middle of the Sahara Desert.


35. Anybody have plans to stare at their phone somewhere exciting this weekend ?


36. When the bell ending the class had already rung but your teacher just kept on talking.


37. The sum of all of the numbers on a roulette wheel is 666.


38. Little mermaid, or is she ? Perhaps it's just a rare blind fish choking on a barbie doll ?


39. Soft kitty, warm kitty, little ball of fur. Happy kitty, sleepy kitty, purr, purr, purr.


40. Every girl has that one guy she has a crush on forever.


41. According to astronuts returning from their spacewalks, space smells to them like "seared steak" or "hot metal."


42. That sad moment when you fall in love with a shirt, check the price tag, and then slowly walk away.


43. The creative process. The idea in your head. "This is brilliant ! I'm a genius." Your idea on paper. "What is this even ... ?"


44. Ever so often, I get that sinking feeling. Then I go out and buy a new bra.


45. Don't judge me. I was born to be awesome. Not perfect.

46. I'd prefer a job where I am politely ignored and left to my own devices ... with unlimited internet access, cupcakes, and coffee.


47. I'm outdoorsy in that I like getting drunk on my patio.


48. I am tired of standardized tests that determine my future.


49. Japan's Okinawa Island has more than 450 people living above the age of 100, and is known as the healthiest place on Earth.


50. To writers and poets everywhere: Avoid using the word very, because it's lazy. A man is not very tired. He's exhausted. Don't use very sad. Use morose. Language was invented for one reason, boys - to woo women - and in that endeavor, laziness simply will not do.




Which of these can you relate to ?

See you next time with 50 more ...

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© 2014 dw817


My Review

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Featured Review

Number one was my favorite because all that you pointed out I noticed as a child. While it didn't make growing up any easier, I had more common sense than most of my peers, it gave me a better perspective. I knew I was special, because I was different, and I was proud to be different, even if I wished there had been at least one person I I could find a true friend in. I was just lucky that I found others just as weird and special as myself during the last few years of schooling. They are the best friends I ever made and they'll always be my best friends.

Posted 5 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

dw817

5 Years Ago

Disney - I love Disney. I could sit and watch any and all of the movies for days on end. And there i.. read more



Reviews

I can't choose just one, they're all awesomesauce, if you put a gun to my head, I'd pick # 45....nobody's perfect, and how boring would that be?..........

Posted 5 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

dw817

5 Years Ago

Well, no gun. And yes, no-one is perfect, yet many people in the world certainly do seem to expect t.. read more
I relate totally to # 39.
I also like #50, not because language is meant to woo woman, but becaue I don't like lazy adverbs.

Posted 5 Years Ago


dw817

5 Years Ago

#39, that is actually from a TV series called, "The Big Bang Theory." And #50 is good advice for any.. read more
06. The moment you feel like you have to prove your worth to someone is the moment to absolutely and utterly walk away.

Posted 5 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

dw817

5 Years Ago

A difficult lesson and one I never took to heart. I often stood my ground - yes - and got hurt for i.. read more
Avinash

5 Years Ago

I think is more related to trying to change the perception of those who are definitely not your well.. read more
dw817

5 Years Ago

Yes, try to please everyone and you please no-one. I think Aesop did a fable along this line.
.. read more
Number one was my favorite because all that you pointed out I noticed as a child. While it didn't make growing up any easier, I had more common sense than most of my peers, it gave me a better perspective. I knew I was special, because I was different, and I was proud to be different, even if I wished there had been at least one person I I could find a true friend in. I was just lucky that I found others just as weird and special as myself during the last few years of schooling. They are the best friends I ever made and they'll always be my best friends.

Posted 5 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

dw817

5 Years Ago

Disney - I love Disney. I could sit and watch any and all of the movies for days on end. And there i.. read more

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Added on September 22, 2014
Last Updated on September 22, 2014
Tags: davidw, Disney, Walt Disney, Beauty And The Beast, Gaston, Belle, bookish, mental asylum, show up to work, good mood, attractive person, walk away, sure of what I don't want, stay curious, wedding vow, Dr. Phil

Wit & Wisdom


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dw817
dw817

Fort Worth, TX



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