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Wit & Wisdom - October 27th 2014

Wit & Wisdom - October 27th 2014

A Chapter by dw817
"

You have to take the good with the bad, smile when you're sad, love what you've got, and remember what you had. Always forgive but never forget, learn from your mistakes but never regret. (more)

"

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  W&W October 27th 2014  

  

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01. You have to take the good with the bad, smile when you're sad, love what you've got, and remember what you had. Always forgive but never forget, learn from your mistakes but never regret.


People change, things go wrong, just remember, even with mistakes, life goes ever on ...

02. Mumbling along to a song you don't really know, but that 15-second part you've memorized so well is coming up, and you're gonna own that !


03. If you dream big enough, anything can come true. Just kidding, get back to work !


04. Why don't you tell me that, "If the girl had been worth having, she'd have waited for you ?" Nossir, the girl really worth having won't wait for anybody.


05. Oh honey, you have gone beyond muffin-top; that's a busted can of biscuits.


06. I'm not crazy I'm just - special ! No, wait, maybe I am crazy. Hmm, one second. I need to talk to myself about this ... hold on !


07. So you're telling me I have to get experience before I =GET= experience ?


08. There are no limits to what you can accomplish when you are supposed to be doing something else.


09. I don't think you understand. I need lightup shoes so I can run faster.


10. When I say I won't tell anyone, my sister doesn't count.


11. Be a wolf. Be a lion. Set goals. Smash them. Be stronger. Be better. Show people who you are. Never apologize for being awesome. Stay positive and stay the course.


12. There is not a better feeling then someone playing with your hair or running their fingers down your back. Unless you thought you were alone.


13. Talking on the phone to someone who has kids is like carrying on a conversation with someone who has Tourettes.


14. Think before you ink.


15. I'm always forced to do things that I'm not qualified for ... like being nice to others.


16. I get absolutely and undeniably attached to book characters - to the point where I cry and laugh with them, and physically miss them when I finish reading the book.


17. I clean when I'm frustrated. So, if you show up unannounced and our house is clean ... you might want to reconsider your visit.


18. Don't knock it till you try it.


19. How are you ?
[_] Living the Dream
[_] Every day I'm Hustlin'
[_] Can't complain
[_] Chillin' like a villain
[_] Need wine


20. If a street performer makes you stop walking, you owe them a buck.


21. That awkward moment when you walk out of your room in PJs and forgot there is a guest in your house.


22. Just because you CAN doesn't mean you SHOULD.


23. Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow internet to see who they really are.


24. Expect the seat in front of you to recline. Prepare accordingly.


25. It is during the worst times of your life that you will get to see the true colors of the people who say they care for you.



26. Winter page titles for scrapbooking:

"All Bundled Up"
"A Taste Of Winter"
"Baby, it's cold outside"
"Feelin' frosty"
"Flurries Of Fun"
"Frozen In Time"
"Ice Kissed"
"Let It Snow"
"Snow-licious"
"Snow Happy"
"'Tis The Season To Be Freezin'"
"Up To Snow Good"
and, "Winter Wonderland."


27. Only 3-types of people tell the truth. Kids, people who are drunk, and anyone who is pissed the hell off.


28. Keep a picture of your first paycheck, your first fish, your first car, and your first boy/girlfriend.


29. Don't break anybody's heart, they only have one. Break one of their bones instead, they have 206 of them.


30. A suntan is earned, not bought.


31. I wear makeup to distract you from my mental illness.

32. All guns are loaded.


33. What screws us up most in life is the picture in our head of how it's supposed to be.


34. If I have 10-chocolate Ding Dongs and someone asks me for one, how many do I have left ? That's right, 10.


35. My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I was supposed to do today but didn't.


36. If you choose to be a cross-dresser, don't sell yourself short.


37. I'm allergic to stupidity. I break out in sarcasm.


38. Be mindful of what comes between you and the Earth. Always buy good shoes, good tires, and good sheets.


39.

"Did you just fall ?"
"No. I attacked the floor."
"Backwards ?"
"I'm freaking talented like that !"


40. Eat lunch with the new kids.


41. Cinderella is proof that a new pair of shoes CAN change your life.


42. When you marry someone, remember, you marry their entire family.


43. Camping: Where you spend a small fortune to experience living like a homeless person.


44. If you have the right of way, TAKE IT.


45. Life is too short to be serious all the time. So, If you can't laugh at yourself, call me, and I'll get you started.

46. Make time for your Mother on your birthday. It's a special day for her too.


47. It's really hard to stop watching Netflix Instant Watch when it automatically plays the next episode for you.


48. Give credit. Take blame.


49. I'm a lady, but when I'm mad, I'm an evil sadistic demon spawned b***h from hell that'll make you wish you were never born ... and when I'm happy, I bake muffins and garden.


50. I'm usually about Live, Laugh, Love, and Dance, but today it's more like, Raise, Aim, Fire, and Reload.




Which of these can you relate to ?

See you next time with 50 more ...

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© 2014 dw817


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Reviews

09, 11, 12, 20, 27, 29, 39.
all absolutely amazing man. Where the blazes do you you find all these quips?

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

dw817

6 Years Ago

Quite a few in there, Wolven. Let's see ...
#9, Rose wishes they came in her size, apparently .. read more

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Wit & Wisdom


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dw817
dw817

Fort Worth, TX



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