Wit & Wisdom - March 9th 2015

Wit & Wisdom - March 9th 2015

A Chapter by dw817



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  W&W March 9th 2015   


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1. Respect their need for privacy.
2. Never embarrass them in public.
3. Let them observe first in new situations.
4. Give them time to think. Don't demand instant answers.
5. Don't interrupt them.
6. Give them advance notice of expected changes in their lives.
7. Give them 15-minute warnings to finish whatever they are doing.
8. Reprimand them privately - never in public.
9. Teach them new skills privately.
10. Enable them to find one best friend who has similar interests and abilities.
11. Don't push them to make lots of friends.
12. Respect their introversion. Don't try to make them something they are not.

02. The eyes are useless when the mind is blind.

03. It's a beautiful day, I think I'll skip my meds and stir things up for a bit.

04. Currently suffering from BEACH Separation Anxiety.

05. Those who boast about being "brutally honest" are usually more brutal than honest.

06. Say it before you run out of time. Say it before it's too late. Say what you're feeling. Waiting is a mistake.


"But Mom, what if I get kidnapped ?"
"Trust me, they'd bring you back."

08. I may not be perfect but at least I'm not you.

09. You know you're a book lover when you read until your eyes can't focus.

10. Yelling "Stay !" at a non-living object that keeps falling over as if it's going to listen to you.

11. Guy De Maupassant ate lunch at the base of the Eiffel Tower almost every day because he hated to look at the structure - and that was the only place in Paris from which he could not see it.

12. Never say anything which doesn't improve on silence.

13. When a tiger roars, it can be heard 2-miles away.

14. I run the way boys fall in love with me. Slowly, and then not at all.

15. My ceiling fan has 3 settings.
1. Barely moving.
2. Kinda feels like it's working.
3. Going to fly off the ceiling and kill someone in a freak accident.

16. Men go shopping to buy what they want. Women however go shopping to find out what they want.

17. There exists an ATM machine in the Emirates Palace in Abu Dhabi that gives out gold bars instead of currency notes.

18. Scientists have finally calculated that Santa Claus would have to visit 822 homes per second in order to deliver all the presents on Christmas Eve.

19. I read this article that said the typical symptoms of stress are eating too much, impulse buying, and driving too fast. Are they kidding ? That's my idea of a perfect day !

20. Sir Isaac Newton died a virgin.

21. People tell me that I'm intimidating. You would be too if you were this awesome.

22. I tried cooking supper with wine tonight. Didn't go so well. After 5-glasses, I forgot why I was even in the kitchen.

23. Due to the confidentiality of my job, I don't know what I'm doing.

24. Why I turn on the TV:
1. 10% to watch shows.
2. 90% to use it as background noise so I feel less lonely while I'm on the Internet.

25. If you think women are the weaker sex, trying pulling the blankets back to your side.

26. No, of course I don't want to discourage your interest in Cosplaying. It's just that - well ... !

27. *Washing hands* *sleeve starts falling down* Nooo !

There are going to be times where you will have bad days, but rainbows always come after the darkest storms.

29. I have a good heart but a unique attitude.

30. It isn't that I'm not a people person. It's just that I'm not a stupid people person.

31. The one time you plan to skip class. And find out later it was actually canceled.


*when my parents are asleep*
Me: "Shh ... they're sleeping"
*when I'm asleep*
Parents: "Let's vacuum the house for 3-hours."

33. Every day may not be good, but there is something good in every day.

34. I have an irrational fear of wasting a good outfit on an insignificant day.

35. If you watch Shrek backwards ... it's about an insane ogre who kidnaps a man's wife and puts her in a tower, alienates his friends, and winds up living alone in a swamp.

36. Dance is still a sport no matter how much glitter is involved.

37. I don't care who dies in the movie - as long as the dog lives.

38. Shy people problem: When you only have one friend in a class and they're absent that day.

39. While the rest of our species is descended from apes, I believe redheads are descended from cats.

40. "Petrichor." The smell of Earth after rain. You're welcome.

41. When they say 2% milk, I'm not sure what the other 98% is.

42. I will likely be a little late because of who I am as a person.

43. Fools take a knife and stab people in the back. The wise take the same knife and cut the cord, and set themselves free from the fools.

44. The number of followers you have in Facebook doesn't make you better than anyone else. Hitler had millions while Jesus had 12.

45. You are approaching the next aisle in a grocery store. Ahead of you are two signs each on opposite sides of each other. "Adult Cereals" and "Children Cereals." Which would you choose, and why ?

46. Waterskiing in tutus - you're never to old to try something stupid.

47. If people are talking about you behind your back, then just fart !

48. It's the last day of school and there goes the bell for the day ! *tosses up schoolwork* Forget this crap ! Summer vacation !

49. Christopher Robin & Winnie The Pooh:
Christopher: "Pooh, there's something I have to tell you ?"
Pooh: "Is it something nice ?"
Christopher: "Not exactly."
Pooh: "Then it can wait."
Christopher: "For how long ?"
Pooh gets up to chase a butterfly: "Forever and ever ..."

50. Statements that were never said and have been misquoted throughout the years:

Star Trek: "Beam me up, Scotty." versus "Beam me aboard."

Wizard Of Oz: "I don't think we're in Kansas anymore, Toto." versus "Toto, I've a feeling we're not in Kansas anymore."

Sherlock Holmes: "Elementary, dear Watson" - never used in any of Arthur Conan Doyle's books, the author of Sherlock Holmes.

Oliver Twist: "Please sir, can I have some more." versus "Please sir, I want some more."

Star Wars: "Luke, I am your Father." versus "No. I am your Father."

Star Trek: "D****t Jim, I'm a doctor, not a ___" - McCoy never said "d****t" in anything.

Casablanca: "Play it again, Sam." versus "Play it once Sam, for old times' sake."

Snow White: "Mirror Mirror, on the wall. Who's the fairest of them all ?" versus "Magic Mirror on the wall. Who's the fairest of them all ?"

Silence Of The Lambs: "Hello, Clarice." versus "Good evening, Clarice."

Which of these can you relate to ?

See you next time with 50 more ...

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28. There are going to be times where you will have bad days, but rainbows always come after the darkest storms.

Posted 6 Years Ago

1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


6 Years Ago

Well Avinash, I wish rainbows =ALWAYS= came after a storm, they don't. I think in my entire life I'v.. read more

6 Years Ago

Recently I went to a waterfall and saw one in the middle of it.

6 Years Ago

Well now, that's really beautiful. I know also you can create a rainbow with a water hose outside. P.. read more
2, 5, 7, 10, 16, 23, 27, 30, 47.
35 is absolutely brilliant!

Posted 6 Years Ago

1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


6 Years Ago

Quite a selection you have there. Let's see,
[2] All I can add to that is, I tend to believe .. read more

6 Years Ago

No Problem David. Its been ages since I've gotten a good look at what writerscafe has got to offer. .. read more

6 Years Ago

Glad you're liking them !
Feel free to check out the rest, there's a lot of activity so far. .. read more

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Wit & Wisdom



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